Being Judgey...

MamaAllison · August 2013

I am totally judging the mom in the pedi chair next to me that said she watched Shrek 1, 2, AND 3 with her daughter last night. Are you freaking kidding me? That is a lot of screen time no matter how old your kid is.

lrj85 · August 2013

Eh, I have been sick before and had my daughter home sick with me and we had a day like this with Harry Potter. She had just had a shot in her leg and been throwing up all night and it was her birthday and she had pneumonia. I would say take your judgement down a notch.

MamaAllison · August 2013

Yea, definitely possible reasons for this but in my eavesdropping she said nothing of the sort. That's just what her daughter wanted to do so she let her.

slwprincess · August 2013

Yeah... been there done that. In fact, Friday is video game day in our house. DS comes in, plops down, and plays Mariokart to his heart's content. It's his reward for a good week at school. Judge away.

lrj85 · August 2013

@MamaAllison your kiddo just turned two right? Get through a couple more years of days long illnesses and babies that simply cannot do anything but lay on the couch or in bed it may change your perspective. Keep in mind you are still sort of new this motherhood thing maybe best not to cast stones ya know?

OutOfStep81 · August 2013

The kid will survive, trust me... And their brain won't turn to mush either. Sheesh.

CarynJeanG · August 2013

I think it's ok sometimes. We do movie marathons at my house once every couple months. The kids love it.

Amyjoy1972 · August 2013

I've done it when DD is sick.

karich · August 2013

I basically did this my entire first trimester. When you are dry heaving every time you stand up, and working full time, it's pretty difficult to find the energy to entertain a 5 year old and a 2 year old.

VAMomma31 · August 2013

MamaAllison · August 2013

Sheesh peeps! I SAID I was being Judgey... I never said it will never happen in my house.

Bet $10 someone will call me butthurt now.

lrj85 · August 2013

You alluded to you completely disagreeing though you said "that's alot of screen time no matter how old your kid is" My point was you havent been in the trenches long enough to be lobbing that judgment

Darlingshakira · August 2013

I don't think there was any thing wrong with this , now and again wld not hurt. However I was out with a friend the other day shopping and she had her 8 year old with her who suffers fr asbergers . I was horried that during the 7 hrs that he was allowed to have a cream bun for lunch and a doughnut in the afternoon and nothing else the entire time . So this type of parenting I judge .

halfthetree · August 2013

@lrj85 has my input covered.

I can't judge another mother, unless of course she's smoking in the car or otherwise harming the child.
Movie days are absolutely something I would never judge, who cares?? Not your kid.

lrj85 · August 2013

Darlingshakira said:

I don't think there was any thing wrong with this , now and again wld not hurt. However I was out with a friend the other day shopping and she had her 8 year old with her who suffers fr asbergers . I was horried that during the 7 hrs that he was allowed to have a cream bun for lunch and a doughnut in the afternoon and nothing else the entire time . So this type of parenting I judge .

My BIL had aspergers and I really think you should back down on the judgment. While no those arent good food options many parents with children on the Autism spectrum deal with their children having PERVASIVE sensory problems this includes food. I know some parents with autistic children who have such a limited diet they will do only clear liquids and actually have to work with diet related therapists to move past these issues. Also it could be your friend gets sooooo few moments of her son behaving well so she can shop or hang out with a friend this may have been a special reward. Aspergers is so challenging! My BIL is a challenge and he is high functioning but still when he is sensory overloaded it can be a melt down with a grown man. Try not to judge

slwprincess · August 2013

lrj85 said:

Darlingshakira said:

I don't think there was any thing wrong with this , now and again wld not hurt. However I was out with a friend the other day shopping and she had her 8 year old with her who suffers fr asbergers . I was horried that during the 7 hrs that he was allowed to have a cream bun for lunch and a doughnut in the afternoon and nothing else the entire time . So this type of parenting I judge .
My BIL had aspergers and I really think you should back down on the judgment. While no those arent good food options many parents with children on the Autism spectrum deal with their children having PERVASIVE sensory problems this includes food. I know some parents with autistic children who have such a limited diet they will do only clear liquids and actually have to work with diet related therapists to move past these issues. Also it could be your friend gets sooooo few moments of her son behaving well so she can shop or hang out with a friend this may have been a special reward. Aspergers is so challenging! My BIL is a challenge and he is high functioning but still when he is sensory overloaded it can be a melt down with a grown man. Try not to judge

Yeah, have to agree with lrj85 here. My nephew is severely autistic and mentally retarded and when we are out and about, he can eat what he likes. His parents are much more careful about meals at home but there is so much that goes into caring for a child with these issues that food on the go is just not worth the battle. I won't lie, I judge my brother and SIL for other parenting decisions but when it comes to parenting special needs, they are rockstars IMO. It's a tough road no matter what.

Darlingshakira · August 2013

Well I disagree as having watched him scoff his 2nd helping of sugar his behaviour changed drastically which resulted in him throwing 2 rage fits within 2omins of eating all the sugar and beyond a shatter of a doubt the sugar triggered his behaviour . I understand what you are saying about the control etc,as a teacher my self we don't allow parents to send in sugary snacks to school and it seems to wrk

Jspagnuolo · August 2013

Darlingshakira said:
I don't think there was any thing wrong with this , now and again wld not hurt. However I was out with a friend the other day shopping and she had her 8 year old with her who suffers fr asbergers . I was horried that during the 7 hrs that he was allowed to have a cream bun for lunch and a doughnut in the afternoon and nothing else the entire time . So this type of parenting I judge .

I agree with the other ladies who say you should really not judge this either unless you've had a child on the spectrum or work with them. DF has Aspergers. I have worked with a lot of children on the spectrum as well and like the other ladies have said, many are very challenging eaters. Many work with a feeding team to assist them in trying new foods and textures. It's not always so simple. It's also possible his meltdown was due to being sensory overloaded with being out for so long (crowded place, loud, bright lights, etc.)

Darlingshakira · August 2013

We have 7 children in my school with the same condition and they manage well with the school ban on sugary snacks , a school day is over 6 hrs .

ZAngel · August 2013

I work from home and on occasion have zero free time. Sometimes the iPad and Disney channel will play babysitter. Judge away!

Darlingshakira · August 2013

Sorry I wld also like to add that my friends mum agrees with me and that having watched his behaviour with other family members he is smart enough that he can get what he wants fr his mum and mum only . When he is with other family this never happens .

samanthadarneille · August 2013

I've definitely let my daughter watch all 4, yes four, tinker bell movies in a row when I have shit that needs to get done around the house. Be judgy all you want but its not like they were watching all 3 lord of the rings....my gosh.

lrj85 · August 2013

Darlingshakira said:

We have 7 children in my school with the same condition and they manage well with the school ban on sugary snacks , a school day is over 6 hrs .

Every child on the spectrum is different. You are also missing the point! Those children may not have the same sensory issues with friends like you your friend should have absolutely no fear of being judged in public. Jeez I hope you are never in need of compassion because my dear you certainly arent earning karma points

Darlingshakira · August 2013

Well thank you I feel that's very harsh of you to to take in to me in such a deeming way

Darlingshakira · August 2013

I have noticed that you constantly are rude to other fellow members on this board and often do not respect there opinion and that's all it is. No need to talk about karma etc or use the word jeeeeze

lrj85 · August 2013

@darlingshakira I think you mean "demeaning". And no this is coming from someone who constantly deals with stares and muttered comments from people like you when I am with my bil and his gf (both aspergers) people do not understand and think "they Know" you really need some empathy!

Darlingshakira · August 2013

True to form correcting my gramme!!!!

Darlingshakira · August 2013

Grammar

monkeybutt61612 · August 2013

Unclench

slwprincess · August 2013

Darlingshakira said:
We have 7 children in my school with the same condition and they manage well with the school ban on sugary snacks , a school day is over 6 hrs .

Yes, but the school day is very structured and so the ban on sugar is part of their routine. When in different or new environments, the child may have a whole other set of needs. And yes, I believe these kids may also be able to manipulate caregivers into giving in to their desires but I also believe their caregivers deserve a whole lot of slack.

KaraLeigh115 · August 2013

I loved movie nights in our house when I was young! Def love the snuggle time I get now with my son when he's watching Mickey mouse

Audsx · August 2013

I think the people who work with and care for children/ adults with disabilities do such a hard job and should be commended for it. If tv is needed , tv is needed esp if it calms/ allows an individual to relax.Same with a treat. What's the saying ' walk a mile in someone's shoes before u judge them' or something like that....

kt_arr · August 2013

Darlingshakira said:

Well I disagree as having watched him scoff his 2nd helping of sugar his behaviour changed drastically which resulted in him throwing 2 rage fits within 2omins of eating all the sugar and beyond a shatter of a doubt the sugar triggered his behaviour . I understand what you are saying about the control etc,as a teacher my self we don't allow parents to send in sugary snacks to school and it seems to wrk

As a teacher, I would think you already understand that every child who has a disability is different and has different needs. I'm a year away from getting my teaching degree in elementary education for the general ed. classroom, but I've been fully trained to complete an IEP for each student who has a disability. Even a student's IEP will show that they each have specific needs. I would hope that every teacher understood this.

I guess my point is that, as a teacher, you should understand that each child with a disability is different, and parents have to work 24/7 to tailor to their child's needs.

littlepig2 · August 2013

@darlingshakira but are you a teacher of students with special needs or a regular ed teacher? because you sound like you don't actually understand that all people with disabilities aren't the same. just because your school doesn't allow sugar, doesn't mean that the students won't have outbursts or meltdowns. it's completely irrelevant.

the school day is also extremely different than a day at home. you can't judge all Aspy/Autistic children and say that sugar triggers all of them. I've been working with those students for 4 years and knew enough out of college to never say something like that. how do you know that the child's outburst wasn't because it was near a certain type of day or that there was other external stimuli that set him off? eating sugar 20 mins earlier could have just been a coincidence.

calimama2007 · August 2013

Studies have shown that there is no correlation between sugar and behavior, so assuming someone else's kid is reacting to it is very holy roller of you. I can't see signatures since I'm on mobile, but I'm assuming based on that comment that you do not have any children yet. Malls can be very overwhelming environments for children, let alone those on the spectrum. In fact we rarely go there because it's a crap shoot for good behavior.

We occasionally let our children eat "bad" mall food because the rest of the time we are very vigilant, and it's fun to let them splurge occasionally. They are all at healthy weights and get more than enough exercise.

Re movie days, in general that would be excessive, but on sick days or special occasions (I'm wondering if it was maybe an end of summer thing) then whatever. I don't think Shrek is appropriate for my kids, I seem to remember a lot of adolescent humor, but that's my choice.

Darlingshakira · August 2013

I teach primary school children and some of these children have special needs , there are no special rules for children with special needs . All I'm saying is this type of rule works from a schools perspective as I'm sure you understand that if a child with asbergers demanded candy in front of the other children in the middle of a lesson we just cld not allow this for obvious reasons . Yes I also understand in the change of environment etc, however as I mentioned earlier that his own granny who was present claims that he only does this with his mother as she is soft and he understands he can get away with it , again I totally understand her frustration in giving into him as she is exhausted. I love her like my sister, I'm concerned that she is doing her self or son any favours as behaviour is only like this with her.

Darlingshakira · August 2013

Sorry actually yes I do have a daughter , she is 23 years old and suffered ADHD and thankfully has out grown it

calimama2007 · August 2013

ADHD is not the same thing as Asperger's, as I'm sure you know.

Darlingshakira · August 2013

Yes u no this , I was answering a question put to me that I prob had no children or exp if special needs

Darlingshakira · August 2013

Actually it was you that asked

Jspagnuolo · August 2013

@darlingshakira

It's Aspergers. No B in it.
Sorry... that's just always been a pet peeve of mine.

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