Is this weird?

BeebopandBuddy · August 2013

My niece had a baby in May, so he is 3 months old. The other day she posted on FB that he was staying with her husband's parents for the night. I commented that it must be nice to get a little break. Her response was that he stays with his grandparents or great-grandparents 2-3 nights a week. She works full-time, so my SIL keeps him then, plus he is staying at someone else's house 2-3 nights a week. Does this seem weird?

On one hand I think it's great that he has so many people in his life that care about him and falls into the "it takes a village to raise a child" thing, but the other part of me thinks it's a little odd that he spends so much time away from his parents, especially when he is so little

Is it just me?

willy_gert · August 2013

No, I would find that extremely odd as well. The only reason why I could see being away for that amount of time is if she is working a night job too....

LuvSD · August 2013

This might sound a little judge-y, but I think it is super weird. When my LO was that little I wanted to be around her all of the time. I can see staying with grandparents every once in awhile but 2-3 time a week??? Why have a baby if you aren't going to take care of him?

Does she work night shifts? If that is the case then it would be a little less weird. Is the father in the picture?

My friend has a 4 year old nephew that stays with his grandparents 2-3 times a week and he is very ill behaved. No one wants to parent this little boy and in the end he is going to be the one that suffers.

BeebopandBuddy · August 2013

She does work some night shifts, but he doesn't only stay overnight somewhere else when she's at work, some nights he is away and they are at home. Her husband has always been super lazy and doesn't help out with much. This didn't surprise me at all with regards to him, but it did surprise me about her.

MarisaKathleen · August 2013

I wouldn't have done it but not my circus, not my monkeys.

Also, there could be more to it than you're aware. Friend of the family had her baby last March and ended up with such bad PPD she couldn't be alone with her baby. Baby ended up spending nights with grandparents and when that wasn't working, Dad had to switch shifts at work and Mom went to live with her parents for a few weeks until she could get better adjusted.

melody921 · August 2013

MarisaKathleen said:

I wouldn't have done it but not my circus, not my monkeys.

Also, there could be more to it than you're aware. Friend of the family had her baby last March and ended up with such bad PPD she couldn't be alone with her baby. Baby ended up spending nights with grandparents and when that wasn't working, Dad had to switch shifts at work and Mom went to live with her parents for a few weeks until she could get better adjusted.

Love this line. It wouldn't have been something I was comfortable with either. But hey, to each her own.

tinyhumantoe · August 2013

Where do I sign up?

hmp1 · August 2013

Sleepovers 2-3 times a week,every week, that are not work related seems excessive to me at any age.

AKB090609 · August 2013

I think it's weird as well, my extended family thinks it is the norm.

I got a talking to by my cousins MIL (did you follow that) at a birthday party a few weeks ago because DH and I wouldn't leave DD napping in a strange house with people she had only seen once, at 10 weeks old. They think we need to send our kid to her grandparents for a week or two.

I tried to explain that our daughter doesn't know her family as well as her cousin because we live 400 miles away and they live less than 4.

bosha711 · August 2013

I think it's weird b/c I am the exact opposite of that. I am "hands on" to a fault.

I do know someone who is like that, though. She'd leave her baby with the grandparents or aunt for days at a time. The aunt, who lived downstairs in a two family, would even bathe & put the baby to bed every night, while the mom would lay around the house, on her phone, or whatever. I will never understand it.

BPer · August 2013

To me, it's odd. Though I definitely could have used a night here and there.

tinyhumantoe · August 2013

I should clarify................... it's weird. But where do I sign up?

thebanich · August 2013

I feel guilty just letting them spend the night at my moms once or twice a month. I get all excited (FREEDOM!) and then the "you don't see them but for about 15 hours during the work week you horrible person" thoughts kick in.

miss50 · August 2013

where is the routine here? was this a planned child? non of my business really, but i totally think it's weird.

BeebopandBuddy · August 2013

Oh yes, I'll admit to being a little jealous. We don't have family around us, so it was never an option and I'm thinking I wouldn't have exercised it if it was. But I thought maybe other people who have lots of family in the area do this kind of thing.

BeebopandBuddy · August 2013

miss50 said:

where is the routine here? was this a planned child? non of my business really, but i totally think it's weird.

Oh yes, he was very much planned. I don't get what the routine is, that's part of my confusion. She is very by-the-book, the pedi is God with most things about him. I tried to explain BLW to her and she looked at me like I have 3 heads. But this, she sees no problem with, apparently.

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