I'm Sorry & Angry for All of Us

Snowbunny13 · August 2013

Hi everyone. I'm obviously going through the stages of grief and loss, today I hit anger. This is a bad ugly stage and it produces jealousy of why "they" can have all normal pregnancy's and we have to deal with this. Why do we have to go through this? I am thankful for all the good things I have in my life, but I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on anyone. I know the odds and percentages and about 20% of pg's end in miscarriage, but I cannot accept reason, science, or facts today - today i'm just angry.....

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

I'm so sorry I have some really bad days where I'm really bitter about it. ((Hugs))

awc1986 · August 2013

I used to get intense jealousy when I saw women with bumps. especially as I live in an area where many mothers are now over 35 when they start their families and i'm considered young at 27. I was so angry that they were supposed to be the ones having the miscarriages and not a young, spring chicken like me. I know that's technically not true, but that's just how I felt.

Then I realised that I didn't know their histories. Some of the women I hated may have had 10 or more miscarriages. They may have had IVF and spent 10 years trying to conceive. I just had to learn to be happy for them and appreciate the fact that my day would come.

As it happens, my day appears to have come when our backs were turned and we were getting carried away without realising the date on vacation! oops!

Snowbunny13 · August 2013

I know everyone is different when they hear about pg's, but I feel such happiness for pp who just got a BFP. I just am jealous of women who have had multiple babies and never have had a miscarriage, I just wish that could be all of us, I wish a pregnancy could bring just absolute overwhelming joy of our new baby coming instead of fear of a miscarriage or another miscarriage. Today is already getting better for me, usually i'm not angry/jealous but I need to go through this emotion and then move on to accept my own loss. Thanks again all.

pbandjsticktogether · September 2013

All these feelings are normal and anger is a beast to deal with. The days that I get angry I get really angry. I think why did I even get pregnant if this was how it was going to end? Delivering my son in labor and delivery having to bury him and move on? I get mad that some women can take such crappy care of themselves and still have healthy babies I get mad at women who have several children with no losses and I have been pregnant four times with two losses.

I try to be grateful I try to be positive and I am grateful for the two I have and know I am lucky to have them. I do. But no one should have to go through the pain we are all experiencing. It is wretched heartbreaking stuff. It will hurt always. I do believe I will be joined with my babies again one day. Bless you all.

mrsd0930 · September 2013

awc1986 said:

I used to get intense jealousy when I saw women with bumps. especially as I live in an area where many mothers are now over 35 when they start their families and i'm considered young at 27. I was so angry that they were supposed to be the ones having the miscarriages and not a young, spring chicken like me. I know that's technically not true, but that's just how I felt.
Then I realised that I didn't know their histories. Some of the women I hated may have had 10 or more miscarriages. They may have had IVF and spent 10 years trying to conceive. I just had to learn to be happy for them and appreciate the fact that my day would come.
As it happens, my day appears to have come when our backs were turned and we were getting carried away without realising the date on vacation! oops!

This is the first insensitive post I have seen on this board. Go to 1st tri and do your announcing. This is a place for those with heavy hearts trying to make sense of a loss.

Alessia87 · September 2013

I dread going back to work and finding out people are pregnant the school I teach at always has at least 5 pregnancies per year... I wanted so bad to be one if those this year,
Why couldn't it happen!!

cmcookaln · September 2013

I have a lot of anger right now as well. I was at the grocery store the other day and it seemed like everywhere I looked there was either a pregnant lady or a lady with a new baby. I just wanted to scream at the top of my lung that it isn't fair. I have tried telling myself that I don't know their story. Maybe they have experienced a miscarriage too and have finally had a successful pregnancy. But then I see the lady in the parking lot who has to boys in the middle of the road playing, another baby in a car seat in the grocery cart with the 90 degree sun beating down and she has her head stuck in the car not paying attention to any of them. How come she is allowed to have three children that she is not taking care of and I can't even have one?

cp323 · September 2013

I agree, I'm feeling anger as well. It's out of control at some points and I'm so not use to not having control over my emotions. It's very difficult at work where many women are pregnant ( including a very close friend). I try to put on a happy face at work when I have to... It's so difficult. Like pp mentioned, I have the same thoughts of, " Why is she allowed to be pregnant ( and in some cases have twins!) and not me?." Wishing us all healing hearts. I'm very sorry to see all of us here, but thankful we have a place to share our emotions and not feel like we are going through these feelings alone. Please take care, ladies.

Edited: clarity

Neary2011 · September 2013

I agree! I am feeling very angry right now, and it is soooooooooooooo hard for me to control, I have a short temper, but majority of the time I try to hide it and put on a smiling face, but that doesn't work all the time.