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MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

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Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

  • micaelasmakeupmicaelasmakeup member
    The nurses will ask you who you want, then they take the grunt of the fallout;)
    I let my mom and MIL in the room( DH is an only child and I totally love my mil) and it was a happy time for everyone. Mom and mil left right after to spread the news so DH got to stay with DD. But you have to do what's best for you.
    But FIL?!? Omg I'm going to tell my FIL some other FIL wanted to be in the room. He will die of embarrassment for them! Lol





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  • ranaverderanaverde member
    She's already had the baby, people.  Check the original post date.

    Iris born Halloween 2013! 6 lbs, 1 oz, 18 inches long

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  • Mrs. MoMrs. Mo member
    MissNikki007 said:

    Your vagina is the one that will be on display, therefore, you are the one that gets to decide who's in the room.


    Trust.

    You are the only one that gets a say in it. If you do not want your ILs (or anyone else) looking at your  vag, no one has a right to tell you otherwise. Labor isn't like in the movies where you are in be the whole time & mostly covered up. You may need to labor by squatting or in odd positions and the only real way if to be fully nude from the waist down (comfort, conveinence & so you don't get them soiled). If they think the gowns will "keep you modest", they are in for a rude awakening.

     

    Also, does the hospital have a policy as to how many people can even be in the room? Most L&D rooms are not that big & 4 support people can make it really crowded. Also, your mom has seen your vag since you were born (well, probably not for a few decades but still). Saying that your  mom is the same as his mom is not equal. Would your H feel comfortable showing his privates to YOUR mom? Probably not



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  • wakiyelamamawakiyelamama
    Most definitely do what you feel is best for your delivery! With my first born I had my Mom and MIL in the delivery room and allowed my family immediate visitation into see me and the baby. Looking back I had a terrible delivery way too many people involved and no control of my delivery. Immediate bonding was disrupted by having so many visitors in & out. I know everyone is excited but its true you only get to meet your little one for the first time this once. My second baby I did things MY WAY and was in control of my delivery. I only had my husband in the room with me and did not even call people to let them know I was in labor. My birth plan strictly forbade visitors for 4 hours after birth. My husband and I and our new arrival basked in the glow of our new love and light. Second time around was lovely, peaceful and I was in control of my delivery. Birth plans are awesome you hand a copy to your doctor and have one in your hospital bag to give to your nurse. Tell your nurse you are strict about your birth plan. Good luck Mama!
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  • Lauraperez413Lauraperez413 member
    That is ridiculous id sit them down and tell them u only want ur husband in there. I had a 23 hour labor the first time and theres no way in hell id want anyone in there besides my spouse.
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  • Snuggies101Snuggies101
    When I had my 1st my mil wanted 2 be in there, I was uncomfortable at 1st but honestly when your in labor you stop caring and by the time my daughter was born it was my mom my husband my mil and my sisters they asked me if that was ok and by that time I just said I don't care who's on here just get her out. Lol
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  • lollybrubslollybrubs member
    My MIL asked shortly after we found out we were having a baby if she could be in the birthing room.  I was so shocked that she wanted to be and also that she would ask instead of waiting to see if she would be invited that I said we had not thought about who we wanted in the room yet and I would get back to her.  I have always thought it was strange to have any one in the room besides the person who got you pregnant (if it were totally up to me we would have a home birth so it would be just my husband and possibly a midwife who would hopefully leave us be as much as possible but we live almost an hour from our hospital so I dont feel safe doing that).  I told my mother long ago that I didnt want her in the birthing room when she said something about wanting to be in there when I have a baby some day.  
    My SIL mentioned one day a little while after the talk my MIL had with me that she had been going on and on about how she has been in the room of the birth of all of her grandchildren and how she was going to be in the room for this birth to.  I got pretty annoyed that she was assuming that was going to happen and also felt guilty that she had gotten to see the birth of her other grandchildren but she would not see this one.  Here is the thing though, all of her other grandchildren were born out of wedlock into relationships that either did not exist or were very unstable and so the birthing mother needed a strong support person.  This is not the case for my husband and I at all.  Any way I put off talking to her about the whole situation for a long time partly because I didnt know how to bring it up and partly because I was annoyed that she assumed that she would get her way.  One day when we were at her house it just came up some how and she actually took it pretty well.  Part of my reasoning for not wanting her in the room is that my mother gets jelious of other people (I am an only child of a single parent mother) and she has experienced this and understands this factor very well.
    I would just stand firm, the way I see it the only important thing is delivering a healthy baby and the best way to do that is for you to be relaxed which you will not be able to do if you are not comfortable with who is in the room.  I would try talking to your husband and get him to back you up.  My husband's response when I told him that his mom wanted to be in the room was, "Good luck with that."  But when I explained to him all the reasons I didnt want other people in the room (except for medical personnel of course) he understood and backed me up when talking to his mom.  If he still doesnt back you up then I suggest you have him sleep on the sofa for a few nights because his only job right now is to make you feel comfortable and safe.
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  • cnhayescnhayes member
    No way jose! Those are your lady parts on display and that is your baby! DH needs to get over it. If you want your momma in there, that's your decision. No way on earth would I want my inlaws staring at me while I'm giving birth. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.
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  • aeskins740aeskins740 member

    So what did you decide?

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  • MarryMedicMarryMedic member
    I'd tell Hubbo if he wanted his parents in there to see my lady parts on display then he can pull up a bed beside me and display his manhood for my parents to see.  See how uncomfortable he feels then!!!!  It's my body.  If I don't want a particular nurse or doctor even seeing it then I will have my way.  They will get over it anyway. 
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  • ashleeyo23ashleeyo23 member
    That is ridiculous. Please don't allow them to bully you. This is YOUR BABY, not theirs. Remind them of that. There is no way I would let my MIL or FIL in the room with me. Hell, I don't even want my mom. It's going to be me and DH ONLY. Stand your ground girl they are the ones being SELFISH - they've already had and raised their kids, this is your turn, you do whatever the hell you want! If they don't like it - they don't need to be around. Period.
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  • AddisonABPAddisonABP
    Its your decision. Thats it. 
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  • 18pregnant18pregnant member
    eff that!!! that's the most ridiculous thing iv ever heard. regardless of them being the grandparents and your husband being the father, it is 100 percent YOUR decision in the delivery room. tell them to go away!!
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