Sister For Sale (Vent!)

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

I long for the day where my sister & I raise our children together and hang out at family dinners... NEVER going to happen!!

I have 2 children due w. #3. She's 6 years older and has none, and doesn't want any... ever! This sucks, I'll never have nieces & nephews and my kids won't have cousins from my side. To top if off she's just plain mean. We live across the country from each other and she's still mean. Our phone conversations consist of me talking about my kids and what they'r up to and her saying how she's so glad she doesn't have to deal with all that and me asking her about her life and she tells me about the new fake meat vegan roast she found at some health store and her part time crafty job as she maliciously yells and belittles her husband in the background...

Today she texts me:

Her: Do you still have that necklace I let you borrow 2 years ago? (I wore it on my bouquet for my wedding & she didn't want to hassle with getting it out at the time)

Me: Yes, should've had me send it w. Dad b4 he left to visit you, I'd be nervous sending it in the mail.

Her: Mail it. Just pay to overnight it & the insurance and stuff, it'll get here

ME: Alright, Dad would've been Free delivery but when I get a minute I will.

Her: (10 minutes later) All I ask is for you to mail it, but you're so busy & you have So many kids and you never have time, we all have lives, why do you act like you are the only busy person that ever had children...

Me: Calm down, I'll mail it... it's only been 10 minutes!

*insert big long text argument* awesome.

Her: Now you're being passive aggressive and trying to be the victim

Me: No, I'm just being plain aggressive, You Suck...

Yes, this isn't a mature way to handle this. And No, I don't really need advice on the matter... JUST VENTING! hahah

Sister For Sale... FREE

Mrbatesisinnocent · August 2013

Sorry you and your sister don't see eye to eye. But (playing devil's advocate) you weren't all that sisterly in your initial response either... seems that both of you need to work on your relationship if it's to be repaired.

Sorry you had a crappy exchange.

notkateanymore · August 2013

You should have returned the necklace two years ago.

74dragonfly · August 2013

KateMW said:
You should have returned the necklace two years ago.

I like you Kate! You always tell it like it is

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

KateMW said:

You should have returned the necklace two years ago.

She didn't want to deal with...told me not worry about it. It's not technically hers, it's our deceased Nana's she just claimed stake to it...

RanFan28 · August 2013

I really LOVE kids. I'm excited to have my own and I will love my nieces/nephews like my own when they come someday. My SIL and her SO don't want children because they think they are inconvenient and will get on the way of the lifestyle they want to live...

I told my SIL that she shouldn't have kids if that's her opinion. I feel like there is a ton of backstory here because I would never want to put kids in a family where they weren't wanted. Especially my own.

TXmamatobe · August 2013

Why do you still have the necklace? Has she asked before?

notkateanymore · August 2013

MissJenna2011 said:

KateMW said:

You should have returned the necklace two years ago.

She didn't want to deal with...told me not worry about it. It's not technically hers, it's our deceased Nana's she just claimed stake to it...

Still. If you borrow something, you return it and you don't take two years. If she wants it back for some reason, you say thanks for letting me borrow it, I'll send it asap. Y'all are being silly by fighting over text, that doesn't solve anything.

PinkinProvence · August 2013

I fail to see how/why you should have any opinion on your sister's Decision not to have children. Not everyone's life decisions should revolve around what is good for you and your children. That is just selfish and controlling and wrong.

If I was your sister, I would probably be annoyed with your kids all the time too, especially with your attitude.

I would also expect you to return something I lent you 2 years ago without attitude.

If I was you, I would consider apologizing. It may go a long way to mending your relationship.

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

I DID NOT PURPOSEFULLY FAIL TO RETURN THE NECKLACE.

She put in on there & She didn't want to take it off the bouquet. It's been sitting there for 2 years. She put it on there. Not me.

Back story is she is constantly asking me to mail her crap! She came for a visit 2 years ago, left a ton of crap and then had me pay the $30 shipping to return it.. Umm NO. Our parents are divorced, they constantly give me her childhood belongings... since they assume she doesn't want them & I do. I don't want them and end up having her demand I mail them...shipping aint cheap!

I bring up her not only not wanting kids but her constantly bringing up the fact that I'll have 3... It's a bummer she doesn't want them, I'm not mad at her for this.. But I was trying to show how much we are different and have different views and lifestyles... She constantly talks about her cats as if they are children...

My sister is just mean ya'll! She's mean to me & mean to her husband and demanding and opinionated as all hell! I wish our relationship was better but its not. She thinks I'm a pushover for choosing to have children that need attention and husband that works away from home alot. I don't think it's being a pushover I'd call it being a wife & mother.

BUT after reading all these responses I did realize that we do have a terrible relationship and there's no need for it. I went home on a break, packed up the necklace and the coffee mug she sent that says "sisters are forever" I'm just over this relationship and think a few months or years without the drama would serve us well. My kids won't know she's gone since they only see her once every few years and she start asking my parents to ship her stuff! At first I thought this may be a bit extreme and then I thought more and realized we're just too many worlds apart.

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

BY THE WAY I MAILED IT BACK TODAY!

it just hit the 4 o'clock mail, less than 2 hours after she demanded it back!

[Deleted User] · August 2013

MissJenna2011 said:

KateMW said:

You should have returned the necklace two years ago.

She didn't want to deal with...told me not worry about it. It's not technically hers, it's our deceased Nana's she just claimed stake to it...

I normally don't get into the posts, but...this is pretty crappy all around...1) I am not sure a decease person can still own things 2) I just have visions of your family behaving like the families on that will show (where they show families dealing with last wills and testaments...) just not a good vibe from this statement...

Mrbatesisinnocent · August 2013

MissJenna2011 said:

I DID NOT PURPOSEFULLY FAIL TO RETURN THE NECKLACE.
She put in on there & She didn't want to take it off the bouquet. It's been sitting there for 2 years. She put it on there. Not me.

Back story is she is constantly asking me to mail her crap! She came for a visit 2 years ago, left a ton of crap and then had me pay the $30 shipping to return it.. Umm NO. Our parents are divorced, they constantly give me her childhood belongings... since they assume she doesn't want them & I do. I don't want them and end up having her demand I mail them...shipping aint cheap!

I bring up her not only not wanting kids but her constantly bringing up the fact that I'll have 3... It's a bummer she doesn't want them, I'm not mad at her for this.. But I was trying to show how much we are different and have different views and lifestyles... She constantly talks about her cats as if they are children...

My sister is just mean ya'll! She's mean to me & mean to her husband and demanding and opinionated as all hell! I wish our relationship was better but its not. She thinks I'm a pushover for choosing to have children that need attention and husband that works away from home alot. I don't think it's being a pushover I'd call it being a wife & mother.

BUT after reading all these responses I did realize that we do have a terrible relationship and there's no need for it. I went home on a break, packed up the necklace and the coffee mug she sent that says "sisters are forever" I'm just over this relationship and think a few months or years without the drama would serve us well. My kids won't know she's gone since they only see her once every few years and she start asking my parents to ship her stuff! At first I thought this may be a bit extreme and then I thought more and realized we're just too many worlds apart.

This is not the mature way everyone was encouraging you to handle things. I'm beginning to think you are more of a dramallama than sister wishing for a better relationship with her sister.

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

Mrbatesisinnocent said:

MissJenna2011 said:

This is not the mature way everyone was encouraging you to handle things. I'm beginning to think you are more of a dramallama than sister wishing for a better relationship with her sister.

WHOA ...

Actually we are both adopted since birth, but from different families. I long to have a good relationship with my sister. I have two half brothers and a birth mother that I don't have anything to do with. My parents got divorced and went two different ways (both moved away from the town I'm in) And are dating other people and living other life's, and I see my Dad every few months and my mom every year or so. My sister was kind of all I got... But this just isn't working for either of us. Would you force yourself to have a relationship with a non- family member just because? I'm sorry it went down like this, but I know that we've gone months without talking before and we were just fine. I'll feel better about this whole scenario tomorrow... Cause I'm picking up some Ben & Jerry's on the way home!

utlawgirl · August 2013

I understand you want a good relationship with your sister -- I do -- but none of this is the way to go about it.

Stop being judgmental about her not having kids. It's her decision. And try talking about something other than your kids if you want to hold her interest.

I think the necklace is beside the point. Just send it back (without the mug, because that's just childish).

And no, she is not a "non-family member." Adopted or not, she is your sister. I fail to see how that makes any difference. If this relationship isn't working for either of you right now, take a step back. Give it some breathing room.

notkateanymore · August 2013

MissJenna2011 said:

Mrbatesisinnocent said:

MissJenna2011 said:

This is not the mature way everyone was encouraging you to handle things. I'm beginning to think you are more of a dramallama than sister wishing for a better relationship with her sister.

WHOA ...

Actually we are both adopted since birth, but from different families. I long to have a good relationship with my sister. I have two half brothers and a birth mother that I don't have anything to do with. My parents got divorced and went two different ways (both moved away from the town I'm in) And are dating other people and living other life's, and I see my Dad every few months and my mom every year or so. My sister was kind of all I got... But this just isn't working for either of us. Would you force yourself to have a relationship with a non- family member just because? I'm sorry it went down like this, but I know that we've gone months without talking before and we were just fine. I'll feel better about this whole scenario tomorrow... Cause I'm picking up some Ben & Jerry's on the way home!

Were you raised with her? Just bc you're not blood related doesn't make you not sisters. That's so odd.

RanFan28 · August 2013

And...I'm done. Now that you said she's a non family member. I understand that you're upset and just venting or whatever. But family is hard. And dysfunctional. And annoying. And FAMILY. I just can't with this not a family member thing.

Lyzza350 · August 2013

This is kind of a mess. I think you have I realize your part or things will never be better. Stop focusing on her...or what she's doing wrong and how you wish she would behave. Instead ask yourself what you can do everyday to make your relationship with her better. If you do that the two of you will be ok.

MEP923 · August 2013

I've never heard of adopted sisters refer to themselves as non family members. That is so sad. Your parents obviously went through heartache to get you and your sister in hopes of having a family and then for you guys to act like this. Wow. Just sad.

jkolber10 · August 2013

Mail it C.O.D. Sorry you're fighting with your sister, I just got into it with mine, probably my hormones, but I know it sucks.

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

Jesus... Would you go through this with a Non-family memeber... MEANING would you go through all this drama with a person that isn't family?? NOOOO So why should I do it just because we ARE family!?! Yes, she is my sister... NO, I don't have to like her.

I'm not referring to her as Non-Family...

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

jkolber10 said:

Mail it C.O.D. Sorry you're fighting with your sister, I just got into it with mine, probably my hormones, but I know it sucks.

Thank you lordy! A normal statement to a Vent post that needed no advice! lol Thank you!

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

MEP923 said:

I've never heard of adopted sisters refer to themselves as non family members. That is so sad. Your parents obviously went through heartache to get you and your sister in hopes of having a family and then for you guys to act like this. Wow. Just sad.

And you haven't heard it now. I wasn't referring to her as a non family member. I was saying I wouldn't deal with drama family or not. And yes my folks did go through alot to get us. Other people get whatever child they're given. Mine chose me. No need to be sad, my parents still love me

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

MissJenna2011 said:

Yes, this isn't a mature way to handle this. And No, I don't really need advice on the matter... JUST VENTING! hahah

PinkinProvence · August 2013

MissJenna2011 said:

I DID NOT PURPOSEFULLY FAIL TO RETURN THE NECKLACE.
She put in on there & She didn't want to take it off the bouquet. It's been sitting there for 2 years. She put it on there. Not me.

Back story is she is constantly asking me to mail her crap! She came for a visit 2 years ago, left a ton of crap and then had me pay the $30 shipping to return it.. Umm NO. Our parents are divorced, they constantly give me her childhood belongings... since they assume she doesn't want them & I do. I don't want them and end up having her demand I mail them...shipping aint cheap!

I bring up her not only not wanting kids but her constantly bringing up the fact that I'll have 3... It's a bummer she doesn't want them, I'm not mad at her for this.. But I was trying to show how much we are different and have different views and lifestyles... She constantly talks about her cats as if they are children...

My sister is just mean ya'll! She's mean to me & mean to her husband and demanding and opinionated as all hell! I wish our relationship was better but its not. She thinks I'm a pushover for choosing to have children that need attention and husband that works away from home alot. I don't think it's being a pushover I'd call it being a wife & mother.

BUT after reading all these responses I did realize that we do have a terrible relationship and there's no need for it. I went home on a break, packed up the necklace and the coffee mug she sent that says "sisters are forever" I'm just over this relationship and think a few months or years without the drama would serve us well. My kids won't know she's gone since they only see her once every few years and she start asking my parents to ship her stuff! At first I thought this may be a bit extreme and then I thought more and realized we're just too many worlds apart.

Wow, judge-y, controlling, selfish, immature, drama lover and passive aggressive. I am pretty sure your sister will be rejoicing that she doesn't have to deal with you anymore. Sheesh!

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

PinkinProvence said:

Wow, judge-y, controlling, selfish, immature, drama lover and passive aggressive. I am pretty sure your sister will be rejoicing that she doesn't have to deal with you anymore. Sheesh!

Yep

backoffunicorn · August 2013

Thank goodness I only have 2 brothers!

Ansleyturner · August 2013

I'm not going to judge you off one post and say you are any of those things. I don't see why people continually post over and over saying the same thing as previous posters.. (Drama-mama, bad sister, ect.) All im saying is I think this has gotten way out of hand.
You sister sounds very similar to mine. Though I don't agree exactly with how you dealt with the situation, I'm sorry your going through this. I do think you two should just not talk for a good while, as I've decided to do the same with my sister. Good luck!

Ktrue85 · August 2013

Mail your sister one of your kids. That'll teach her.

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

Ansleyturner said:

I'm not going to judge you off one post and say you are any of those things. I don't see why people continually post over and over saying the same thing as previous posters.. (Drama-mama, bad sister, ect.) All im saying is I think this has gotten way out of hand. You sister sounds very similar to mine. Though I don't agree exactly with how you dealt with the situation, I'm sorry your going through this. I do think you two should just not talk for a good while, as I've decided to do the same with my sister. Good luck!

Thank you.

MissJenna2011 · August 2013

For the record... I did what I should've done in the first place... I called my Momma & vented, I feel much better!

mightymousy · August 2013

Wooooooooowwwwwwww, suddenly happy to be an only child.

notkateanymore · August 2013

I forgot how great it was to be an only child.

notthecheat · August 2013

Mrbatesisinnocent said:

MissJenna2011 said:

I DID NOT PURPOSEFULLY FAIL TO RETURN THE NECKLACE.
She put in on there & She didn't want to take it off the bouquet. It's been sitting there for 2 years. She put it on there. Not me.

Back story is she is constantly asking me to mail her crap! She came for a visit 2 years ago, left a ton of crap and then had me pay the $30 shipping to return it.. Umm NO. Our parents are divorced, they constantly give me her childhood belongings... since they assume she doesn't want them & I do. I don't want them and end up having her demand I mail them...shipping aint cheap!

I bring up her not only not wanting kids but her constantly bringing up the fact that I'll have 3... It's a bummer she doesn't want them, I'm not mad at her for this.. But I was trying to show how much we are different and have different views and lifestyles... She constantly talks about her cats as if they are children...

My sister is just mean ya'll! She's mean to me & mean to her husband and demanding and opinionated as all hell! I wish our relationship was better but its not. She thinks I'm a pushover for choosing to have children that need attention and husband that works away from home alot. I don't think it's being a pushover I'd call it being a wife & mother.

BUT after reading all these responses I did realize that we do have a terrible relationship and there's no need for it. I went home on a break, packed up the necklace and the coffee mug she sent that says "sisters are forever" I'm just over this relationship and think a few months or years without the drama would serve us well. My kids won't know she's gone since they only see her once every few years and she start asking my parents to ship her stuff! At first I thought this may be a bit extreme and then I thought more and realized we're just too many worlds apart.

This is not the mature way everyone was encouraging you to handle things. I'm beginning to think you are more of a dramallama than sister wishing for a better relationship with her sister.

Thank you. I am seeing this gif everywhere and it makes me laugh every single time.

ScarlettV · August 2013

Please grow up. The end.

esf60 · August 2013

Just a thought, but... maybe you DO talk about your kids too much? People who only talk about their kids and have nothing else to say are generally considered annoying.

lollipoppoop · August 2013

I talk about my cats like they are my children because they are a big part of my heart. Anyways, I don't know how old you or your sister are but just because she doesn't want kids now doesn't mean she won't later on. Not everyone likes kids so maybe she doesn't want to hear about them constantly.

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