crazy PAIF brain worries (vent) — The Bump
Pregnant after IF

crazy PAIF brain worries (vent)

I mistakenly read a post about someone losing their twins at 16 weeks due to fluid leaking and of course, my psychosomatic self is now paranoid i am losing fluid and not aware of it.  i had a heartbeat check yesterday at 17w1d and babies were good and my next u/s is with MFM next Tuesday.  my last u/s was at 16 w with MFM and cervix was 6+ and closed (yes, crazy long cervix-which is a good thing). 

i HATE not being able to enjoy just being pregnant and trusting that everything will be fine.  i feel like there are some moments i am excited and then my PAIF brain comes in and says "wait! don't get happy yet! there's so much that could still go wrong!".  i went from worrying about miscarrying in 1st tri, to worrying about pre-term labor in 2nd tri.  my mom also had 10 late 1st tri/early 2nd tri losses (i was her only live birth) so of course that has my freaking out. 

just needed to vent.  is anyone else still worrying?  i'm hoping it gets better after 24 weeks which i know i am getting closer and closer to.  blah.  thanks for listening! :)
Me (37) DH (39); PCOS changed to Unexplained, changed to DOR in 2012 (finally a correct diagnosis!); 
Started TTC 2009 with RE after 6 months.  
Clomid + Trigger x2; 
IUI + Femara x1,
IUI + Follistim x2;
IVF #1 (MDL) February 2013- BFN.
IVF #2 (antagonist) May 2013, First BFP of my life. 
Identical twin miracle BOYS (!!) headed our way- due date is technically 2/4/14 but c section is scheduled for 1/7! 


BabyFetus Ticker image

Re: crazy PAIF brain worries (vent)

  • I still worry. I'm 26 weeks. For most of us who have had a long journey to get here we won't feel better until the baby is in our arms. And then new worries set in. Motherhood = worry.




    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm 33+ weeks and I still worry.  As PP said, until our LO's are safely in our arms, we will worry...

    Me 35, DH 36
    TTC summer 2008
    Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
    IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
    IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
    IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
    IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
    Mental health break for 10 months
    IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
    IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
    7 fertilized transferred 3
    Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
    First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
    IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
    3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl! 

    Maggie Grace is here!  10/5/13... 8lbs 6 ounces of pure joy!

    TTC#2  No birth control since DD was born.  Getting ready to jump back in the saddle.  Weaning this month. RE
    appt scheduled 5/8.   Here we go again!

    IFV# 6.  10/27  6 retrieved 4 mature 3 fertilized.  2 made it to 3dt 10/30. 1"very pretty 8 cell" and 1 6 cell.  Beta
    11/13.   Please stick embies!!!!  We love you so much already! 11/12/14  POAS, BFP... beta tomorrow!
    11/13 beta #1  924!!!  2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430.  First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
    both measuring right on track....2nd u/s... all is well... both beans measuring right on track... released from RE... first
    appointment with MFM 1/5.  Looks like this is really happening!





  • Loading the player...
  • Yes, I think it's normal to transition into worry about different things.  But my goodness your cervical length is fantastic, so that should help some of your preterm labor worries.  At 25 weeks, I'm still worried, but try to reassure myself that I'm being closely monitored and the chance of something going drastically wrong between appointments is low.


    Married 8/2008. IVF with PGD March 2013.
    3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
    3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
    4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!!!
    PPROM at 31w, delivery at 32 weeks of two beautiful girls
    image
  • I read that post too and it scared me.   I'm just taking it day by day, appt. by appt. - as long as everything continues to look good I am telling myself I am having these babies.   We are going to get started on the nursery and I'm definitely worried about the possibility of not actually bringing home babies to it.  But I know I will regret it if everything goes well and I didn't start sooner. 
     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573

    1st u/s=
    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

    jezebel57
  • Yes, I think it's normal to transition into worry about different things.  But my goodness your cervical length is fantastic, so that should help some of your preterm labor worries.  At 25 weeks, I'm still worried, but try to reassure myself that I'm being closely monitored and the chance of something going drastically wrong between appointments is low.


    thanks, this is a good reminder.  every 2 week u/s is a good thing for crazy old me!!!  yeah, i was surprised how much my MFM loved my cervix.  both her and the u/s tech commented on how amazingly beautiful it was.  lol. 
    Me (37) DH (39); PCOS changed to Unexplained, changed to DOR in 2012 (finally a correct diagnosis!); 
    Started TTC 2009 with RE after 6 months.  
    Clomid + Trigger x2; 
    IUI + Femara x1,
    IUI + Follistim x2;
    IVF #1 (MDL) February 2013- BFN.
    IVF #2 (antagonist) May 2013, First BFP of my life. 
    Identical twin miracle BOYS (!!) headed our way- due date is technically 2/4/14 but c section is scheduled for 1/7! 


    BabyFetus Ticker image
    [Deleted User]
  • hootie123 said:
    I read that post too and it scared me.   I'm just taking it day by day, appt. by appt. - as long as everything continues to look good I am telling myself I am having these babies.   We are going to get started on the nursery and I'm definitely worried about the possibility of not actually bringing home babies to it.  But I know I will regret it if everything goes well and I didn't start sooner. 
    thanks for the reminder.  taking it day by day is something i've always struggled about but i have to get back into the mindset of only allowing myself to worry about the next 24 hours.  that seems to help a bit.  we have registered and even though i am getting laid off in 2 weeks, my employees are throwing me a shower which i am actually excited about.  i may go buy something for the babies this weekend also, just to feel a little more attached to the whole situation. 
    Me (37) DH (39); PCOS changed to Unexplained, changed to DOR in 2012 (finally a correct diagnosis!); 
    Started TTC 2009 with RE after 6 months.  
    Clomid + Trigger x2; 
    IUI + Femara x1,
    IUI + Follistim x2;
    IVF #1 (MDL) February 2013- BFN.
    IVF #2 (antagonist) May 2013, First BFP of my life. 
    Identical twin miracle BOYS (!!) headed our way- due date is technically 2/4/14 but c section is scheduled for 1/7! 


    BabyFetus Ticker image
  • jezebel57 said:
    Yes, I think it's normal to transition into worry about different things.  But my goodness your cervical length is fantastic, so that should help some of your preterm labor worries.  At 25 weeks, I'm still worried, but try to reassure myself that I'm being closely monitored and the chance of something going drastically wrong between appointments is low.


    thanks, this is a good reminder.  every 2 week u/s is a good thing for crazy old me!!!  yeah, i was surprised how much my MFM loved my cervix.  both her and the u/s tech commented on how amazingly beautiful it was.  lol. 
    Yes - it's over twice the length of mine at the same gestation!  Even if your cervix does start to shorten, which it will, you have a LONG way to go before they would be concerned. :)  Really, take some comfort in that!

    Also, my MFM told me at my 18 week ultrasound that if usually the most severe cases of TTTS show up on an ultrasound by then.  So if your babies are measuring similar in size at 18-ish weeks, then I'd also take that as good news (not that they can't later develop TTTS, but likely wouldn't be one of the really severe cases).
    Married 8/2008. IVF with PGD March 2013.
    3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
    3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
    4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!!!
    PPROM at 31w, delivery at 32 weeks of two beautiful girls
    image
    jezebel57
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards