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Sometimes I forget it happend

southernbelle82southernbelle82 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
It still seems surreal that this has happened again. We just went through this 2.5 months ago...and I foolishly thought, surely it won't happen again. Everyone once in awhile, I'll feel nauseous and think, "YES, this is a good sign" They the reality of what's happened comes crashing down...again. I saw an ad for Baby Steals on facebook yesterday and it was for a carrier and I thought, "Oh I get to get an Ergo!" and then I remember and it hurts all over. I foolishly bought a maternity shirt at Target Sunday...then miscarried Monday...had to return it today. I literally prayed that she wouldn't ask me why I was returning it. 

The best is when you see someone you told you were pregnant (we told a just a tiny few people) and they haven't heard and they excitedly come up and ask how you're feeling...that happened tonight. It was awesome. For a brief moment I almost said, "I'm feeling great, the nausea hasn't been bad at all today"...then BAM...it hits again and is a harsh reminder of our new reality. I'm just still in shock. 


DD 6/17/08, DD 6/9/10, DD 12/15/11
BFP 5/24/13 - Natural MC 6/7/13
BFP 8/13/13 - Natural MC 8/27/13
Ovarian Mass = removal of left ovary & tube 9/13
BFP 4/24/14 - Tubal Pregnancy 5/7/14
Removal of  ruptured right tube 5/8/14
IVF or adoption??
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Re: Sometimes I forget it happend

  • southernbelle82southernbelle82 member
    Please excuse my horrific grammar and poor sentence structure. I shouldn't type when I'm tired. Yikes.
    DD 6/17/08, DD 6/9/10, DD 12/15/11
    BFP 5/24/13 - Natural MC 6/7/13
    BFP 8/13/13 - Natural MC 8/27/13
    Ovarian Mass = removal of left ovary & tube 9/13
    BFP 4/24/14 - Tubal Pregnancy 5/7/14
    Removal of  ruptured right tube 5/8/14
    IVF or adoption??
    Report Reply
  • ashtonblair123ashtonblair123 member
    I know this feeling exactly. I just can't seem to accept it. It just doesn't feel like this has happened actually. I catch myself thinking about where we are going to move our computer to in the den since our office will become the new nursery. Which I'm hoping it will soon be something to think about but it's not something we should do or think about now. I feel like that's jinxing us. Or thinking about the things to crochet for the new baby, that is no longer here. It sucks, and I am so sorry any of us have to feel this way. I am sending thoughts and prayers your way! ((Hugs))
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    BFP 08/14/13 EDD 04/18/14 Natural MC 08/19/13
    BFP 10/15/13 EDD 06/24/2014 Natural MC 10/23/13
    Recurrent Miscarriage Panel done 11/06/13. Results= All normal
    BFP 12/2/13 EDD July 30, 2014
    Beta 12/3/13: 19,261!
    U/S 12/13/13 heart rate 143 bpm!

    My Blog
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  • Emma2370Emma2370 member
    Sorry for your loss, I think our minds protect us from trauma, Its not that you forget. Its just the process of accepting little by little. The same thing is happening to me, all the plans, not eating drinking this or that, have not caught up with the harsh reality yet. It truly sucks!
    BFP #1 7/25/13. MMC 8/26/13 8 weeks 5days Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic BFP #2 11/5/13 chemical pregnancy 11/9/13 BFP #3 12/28/13 "Our HOPE baby"
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  • giraffe2112giraffe2112 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss, I understand completely how you feel! We also told a few people(my close friends and a few family) THE day it happened I told everyone right away, it was so hard and I emailed because I couldn't bear to do it in person and the whole time could barely see to type through my tears. They have checked in on me and that helps but for the most part don't say anything about it which is better because then I don't think about it. Sometimes though I will be thinking and remember that I was pregnant, 8 weeks along and now I'm not, I get wishful and sad other times I go about my day and have a great day and its like it never happend. I still have the card my mom gave me when we found out, I can't bear to take it down from the shelf it sits on...I also think of the names we chose and then had to choose something gender neutral because we didn't know(we decided to name our baby to help with our grief). I do hope that you find some peace soon, I wish that none of us were here and I pray for peace for all of us.
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  • Allyvaughan86Allyvaughan86 member
    I'm so sorry! I feel the same way sometimes! I instantly want to browse through the baby section when I'm shopping, then I feel stupid! I look at my stomach, and wish so hard to see a growing belly. I wanted a baby so bad and it's so hard to face the reality that its not happening now! It's just hard and I'm so sorry for your loss! Know that you're not alone!
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