September 2013 Moms

My mom has a case of the crazies

I guess this is a vent. I'll start by saying that my mom is very dramatic and often blows things out of proportion. She has also been a bit of a nightmare through my pregnancy, but it's been manageable. She casually mentioned the other day that she had heard that induction causes autism. I sort of blew her off and told her not to worry about it and that I want to go into labor naturally, that I trust my doctor, and I changed the subject. This morning I woke up to an extremely long email and text that she had sent at about 3 o'clock this morning panicking about induction. She said that her psychiatrist was the one who told her about the autism/induction thing and that her psychiatrist wants to TALK TO MY OB to "make sure that she doesn't induce me." OMG! Chill out!
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Re: My mom has a case of the crazies

  • I don't know who's more out of line, your mom or her psychiatrist. Wow.
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  • Whoa... That's a bit over the top. My mom oversteps boundaries too. Luckily she's been fairly mellow after a few blow ups at the beginning of the pregnancy. I hope yours chills out too!
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  • I'm 100% positive that I would ignore any correspondence that included said info. And if her doctor talks to yours, I'm pretty sure he'd be violating some sort of ethical and potentially legal rules
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  • Gah, sounds like my mom and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Stick to your guns and make sure she knows you trust your OB, you obviously have already but reiterate that YOU (and SO if applicable) will make the decision with your OB if that situation arises. Good grief, your OB hasn't even considered induction yet and you clearly aren't pushing for it!

    My mom trusts her psychiatrist far too much and takes everything she says as gospel. I'm not going to go into it but half of it is complete nonsense. It's kind of impossible to change someone's mind when they are that keyed up on what a professional has told them though, I try to just ignore it but when it's something like this it needs to stop immediately. If she helps mom that's good but I don't need to be told what someone who I don't know or trust thinks about my and my LO's health.
  • Wow, that is a special kind of crazy! I understand she is doing this out of concern for you, but honestly I'd ignore it. To acknowledge her right now would feed the fire. Totally agree with the lack of professionalism on her psychiatrist's part, too!

     

  • Stick to your guns. I read some of the autism/induction link information, too, and I'm not buying it. And I'm sure you already know this, but her psychiatrist can't talk to your doctor without your consent, so don't fret!
  • The whole "my psychiatrist wants to talk to your OB" could be blown out of proportion by my dramatic mother, but I'm disappointed that her psychiatrist talked to her about induction causing autism... It just gives her more to worry about and enables her drama. I think the most frustrating part is that she keeps bringing it up as if I'm planning on being induced.
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  • imakeeff0rtsimakeeff0rts member
    edited August 2013
    That's...crazy. 

    1. Please don't tell your mom when you go into labor. Just avoid that crazy all together. 
    2. (edited this one because I realized that I was being hormonal and it was a bad decision). However, there were several times that I had to tell my parents when they were having issues that I did NOT appreciate them talking about me in their therapy sessions. What's worse was that they would talk about me, and then tell me about it. Dude, I am not a part of your marriage, and I am not doing anything negative to cause your marriage stress. I digress. 

    It sounds as though you haven't made this decision. It's none of your mother's business. This kind of reminded me of this post from yesterday...except your mom is OP. She wasn't involved in the baby making process, and it's not for her to tell you how you bring this child into the world. She is not the one that's pregnant. If you do make the decision to induce, don't tell her. It sounds like she's just going to cause a lot more crazy and have some kind of unnecessary emotional breakdown. 
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  • I agree with everything PP said, and also wanted to suggest as one who has a crazy mom as well, that it's possible she's lying about/ exaggerating her psychiatrist "wanting" to talk to your OB. Obviously I don't know your mom, but that is totally something mine would do!
  • that's totally a HIPPA violation

  • Agreed. I highly doubt the psychiatrist is interested in calling the OB.
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  • I don't know who's more out of line, your mom or her psychiatrist. Wow.

    This exactly. Wow.

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  • Cleo421 said:
    Agreed. I highly doubt the psychiatrist is interested in calling the OB.
    Ditto this. There's just no way. 
  • that's totally a HIPPA violation

    Well, it wouldn't violate HIPAA if the psychiatrist called the OB, as long has he/she had a release from OPs mom to disclose that mom is a patient. It would only be a violation if OB confirmed or denied that OP was a patient. But in any event, it would be pretty ridiculous and unprofessional for a MH provider to hear a story about the healthcare of a pt's relative and go ahead and contact that provider with his/her concerns, especially when it's outside of his/her scope of practice. Makes no sense.
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  • You should tell your mom thank you for the concern and tell her that information is not correct (as PP stated). If she keeps going on and on, tell her that you will not be speaking to her if she continues to disrespect you this way. She'll probably go crazier with you saying that, but at least you can know you tried to talk her down.
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  • Wow.  I hope your mom is exaggerating and her psychiatrist actually has better boundaries than that.  Otherwise, i hope she finds a new therapist, bc her current one sounds like he may not be entirely beneficial to her.
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  • Depending on how involved you are with your mothers life, if I were on your shoes (and I've been very close to your shoes with my mother) I would call her psych and say the following: "I'm sure you are unaware, but my mother's mental state has reached a level where she has claimed that you are going to call my ob to discuss not performing an induction for fear of autism. As I'm sure you've read from the article, there is no causal link and thus is not a concern for me; what is concerning, however, is that my mother's emails at 3am are full of anxiety and distress. I thought I would bring these to your attention as I'm concerned for her mental health."

    I've actually asked permission to attend one of my mothers sessions to ensure that my mothers mental health is being taken care of to a standard that I believe will help. I have a BSc in psychology so this was appropriate for us but most concerned family members are generally welcome to give their opinion or express concern.

    All this to say that you have a lot on your plate these days with the baby coming so do what you need to do to feel as calm and ready for baby as possible. If that means ignoring the emails and your mom, so be it. Do what's right for you.

  •  I would be willing to bet that your mother isn't listening to what her dr is saying to her. Does she has have a history of turning things around? If he was the one who randomly brought up your induction than your mother needs a new psychiatrist. He is totally out of line to bring that up with her if it is his own agenda. He is suppose to help her calm her anxiety, not create or augment them. And if he does call your ob, I would then call the board of psychiatrist on him!
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