Ugh, DD gotten bitten on the face

melody921 · August 2013

DD has now been in the "big-kid" daycare room (up to about 18 months) since Thursday. On Friday, she got bitten on the hand. On Monday, she got scratched on her forehead a few times. Now yesterday, she got bitten twice on her cheek in rapid succession. The red marks had faded a little by this morning, but now they're starting to bruise. I went through this with DS where he was everybody's chew toy, but I'm seriously freaking out about this bc she's still so small and doesn't even walk.

When DH picked the kids up yesterday, the director told him they try to shadow the biters, but this kid hadn't bitten before (he/she bit 3 kids yesterday though!). I talked to the lead teacher this morning, who was already gone when DD got bitten yesterday, and she was upset about it and said she'd keep a closer eye and ask the other teachers to do the same. But kids are so fast. I feel like unless the biters are kept on one side of the room/yard, they're not going to be able to intervene before she gets bitten again. I want to see all the biters kept together. Maybe they can chew on each other and get over this phase.

Flamingemu · August 2013

I am sorry. L got bit twice by the same kid at DC back before she started crawling. I called her an easy target! The DCP did everything she could to separate them, taking the older with her whenever she changed the diaper of a littler one as well as corrective behavior. It took him a couple months to cut out the biting.

melody921 · August 2013

thechimichanga said:

DD got bit in the infant room on her arm. It left a pretty nasty welt/bruise...it sucks, I was super pissed because she is in the infant room and I wasn't expecting this to happen until she went to the toddler room. I'm pretty sure it was her BFF who bit her.

was the biting malicious or exploratory? Kids start to bite as exploration, play, etc. If the kid bit to be mean, I'd have an issue and would want something to be done, even if it meant moving her back until she was walking, if it was just a kid being a kid, it just sucks. I hope her war-wounds heal up quickly

All they could say is that it wasn't provoked, so I'm not sure why the kid bit. I hope it doesn't happen again. I feel bad for her.

tinyhumantoe · August 2013

melody921 said:

I want to see all the biters kept together. Maybe they can chew on each other and get over this phase.

I'm sorry for your DD

I can't stop laughing at this though. It's like a movie in my head.

plus12012 · August 2013

I know this probably doesn't help but as a former pre-school teacher (I was in the toddler room) i can tell you that teachers really do everything they can to keep children from getting bit. Unfortunately at that age and with the ratios in a classroom it is almost impossible. I think the one thing that may help is knowing that to the child that gets bit being bit to them is no worse and usually doesn't even get as big a reaction as another child taking a toy away from them. I know the marks break your heart as a parent it was really hard the first time DD came home with a mark on her from daycare and as a former teacher it was equally hard to have to work with the parents of the child who got bit and the parents of the biter. Unfortunately it's a stage that some LO's go through.

kelbel527 · August 2013

melody921 said:

All they could say is that it wasn't provoked, so I'm not sure why the kid bit. I hope it doesn't happen again. I feel bad for her.

I know it won't make you feel any better, but the parent of the kid that did the biting probably feels awful.

I know, because I'm that Mom. We got a phone call a couple weeks ago that DS2 bit another kid. The teachers assure me that it's not malicious and they're watching him as much as possible, but he likes to climb on other kids (we're working on this) and tries to give them "kisses" where he ends up biting them. He has 8 teeth, and I think might be teething right now too.

I feel awful and we're watching for it at home, but he's never even tried at home. But then again, everyone at home is bigger than him.

melody921 · August 2013

kelbel527 said:

I know it won't make you feel any better, but the parent of the kid that did the biting probably feels awful.

I know, because I'm that Mom. We got a phone call a couple weeks ago that DS2 bit another kid. The teachers assure me that it's not malicious and they're watching him as much as possible, but he likes to climb on other kids (we're working on this) and tries to give them "kisses" where he ends up biting them. He has 8 teeth, and I think might be teething right now too.

I feel awful and we're watching for it at home, but he's never even tried at home. But then again, everyone at home is bigger than him.

Yeah, I don't want to see this from the other side. I get that that's bad too. I just don't want my daughter getting mauled every day.

willy_gert · August 2013

I'm sorry that is happening to your DD! I can't even imagine how I would react to something like that!

We have a bit of a biter, Luci has started biting me and DH, but only on my breast and his nipple. I think it is really odd and DH is totally freaked out that she bit his nipple. The first time she did it to me, she was hungry and it was almost like she was trying to "latch" but we haven't been BFing for months, so who knows. I certainly hope that I don't have to experience either side of this!

melody921 · August 2013

willy_gert said:

I'm sorry that is happening to your DD! I can't even imagine how I would react to something like that!

We have a bit of a biter, Luci has started biting me and DH, but only on my breast and his nipple. I think it is really odd and DH is totally freaked out that she bit his nipple. The first time she did it to me, she was hungry and it was almost like she was trying to "latch" but we haven't been BFing for months, so who knows. I certainly hope that I don't have to experience either side of this!

DD has bitten me while nursing, but I view that as different than if she were to bite a peer or bite me while we were playing. It's easier before they have teeth!

mrsbhk22 · August 2013

DS1 was a chew toy to one kid at daycare. It was constant. Almost everyday. Unprovoked. We almost pulled him from the center over it (he wasn't the only one. Same kid bit multiple kids every day). I totally blamed the parents.

When my niece became mobile, she also became a biter. Only at daycare, not at home with her parents or her 18 months older bro. My SIL was devastated and dreaded picking her up and signing the incident form every day. She outgrew it after 1-2 months. They went on to have 2 other kids, none of them biters.

It's just how some kids explore. It sucks when your kid is the chew toy, but if the teachers are being proactive, it helps. They also reintroduced a paci to the serial biter and that helped.

melody921 · August 2013

Kemare20 said:

I am surprised they moved her up if she isn't walking. In the daycare I worked at there were certain milestones that had to be hit before they moved to the next classroom. No crawlers ever went to the waddlers room until they were waddling. We would sometimes put a child over there for an hour or so if they were starting to take their first steps to transition them faster but that was it.

As far as biting. Yeah, it sucks, but as a PP said, with the ratios we are given, it's impossible to shadow a biter. Most the time, it's the 2nd you turn your back that they go for it. The director/teacher need to explore WHY the child is biting. Is he teething? Is he hungry? Was he upset already and your child crawled over to "comfort" him? Was he wanting attention?

Secondly, they need an action plan for addressing the biting. Ask what their protocol is for this. Who do they address first? The biter or the bitten? How is it addressed? From what I have been taught, you a;ways address the bitten first. Shower them with attention, hugs and love. The biter will stand there and watch all of this happen and see that biting gives him nothing, no negative or positive reward. After the bitten calms, a simple yet firm "No biting. Biting hurts!" to the biter and then redirect.

And this is what I'm hoping they can uncover. The teacher seems to think the slightly older kids, who have been in the room awhile, are exploring the younger ones. DD got bitten again yesterday, this time on the arm. The teacher told me today they're going to try to separate the kids a little better, especially during free play times.

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