I miss good sex

butterlola · August 2013

Anyone in 2nd trimester feeling like the last good sex you had was a loooong time ago?

Sarazoe · August 2013

I've always had a high sex drive too but every since I got pregnant every which way is uncomfortable. I'm paranoid and don't wanna hurt my baby and I ALWAYS feel sick. I can relate totally. I felt like it was long ago before I got pregnant that I could really enjoy myself and be carefree during sex. Now it's just uncomfortable and a bother, I want to enjoy myself like those care free days.

micaelasmakeup · August 2013

There is a sex life after baby. You vagina does not get stretched out and mangled. Initially I want to roll my eyes at you, but maybe I kinda felt that way when I was pregnant the first time.
A lot of guys feel like they will hurt the baby or be too close to the baby and its awkward for them. But you seem to have been having trouble pre pregnancy.
All relationships go thru ebbs and flows of sex drives and sometimes not everyone is on the same page at the same time.
It sounds like something you 2 should talk about openly. Maybe he is scared of the pregnancy, maybe he needs to see a doctor about his testosterone levels, or maybe there is something else...

HFrizzle · August 2013

Um, hi random 2 post person talking about their sex life.

Maybe discussing these things with him and expressing your feelings and concerns would be better.

I would also advise, that IF HE thinks this is a problem, then he needs to go to a doctor and discuss this with them. Could very well be that he is not comfortable having sex with you while you are pregnant. He would be worried about hurting you or the baby.

Btw, not everyone had a phenomenal sex life while pregnant. Most of us feel gross, sweaty, uncomfortable, sore and could give a rip.

Soap1 · August 2013

My husband and I have always had a mismatched sex drive - I'd be happy 2-3 times a week, he'd be happy 2-3 times a month.

A therapist can actually be really helpful. We read the 5 Love Languages, which revealed my language is Physical Touch (thus all the sex) and his is Quality Time (thus he'd rather watch movies together than do it). A therapist was able to help us find ways to communicate with each other's languages. It helped me realize that when he says "No" to sex, it's not because he doesn't love me or want me, even though it feels that way to someone with my love language.

Get the book, see a therapist. It's not about leaving him, it's about communication and keeping a healthy relationship.

imakeeff0rts · August 2013

HFrizzle said:

Um, hi random 2 post person talking about their sex life. Maybe discussing these things with him and expressing your feelings and concerns would be better. I would also advise, that IF HE thinks this is a problem, then he needs to go to a doctor and discuss this with them. Could very well be that he is not comfortable having sex with you while you are pregnant. He would be worried about hurting you or the baby. Btw, not everyone had a phenomenal sex life while pregnant. Most of us feel gross, sweaty, uncomfortable, sore and could give a rip.

This. All of this. Especially the bolded part.

PrimRoseMama · August 2013

Lol I promise this is not the end of good sex for you. Double lol at your vag being stretched out-- it does go back to normal down under. Relax.

momof2buggs · August 2013

Actually, after the baby is born, sex may very well get better for you. It did for me. And as far as hubby is concerned, he will likely have a lot more respect for you, which may ignite his passion

There's something about a man watching his wife give birth that makes him want her more, according to many of my guy friends. And if you think your vagina will be stretched and mangled, you're wrong. The first few weeks after birth you will want to focus on healing, but trust me. It goes back to normal. I hope it gets better for you

Mommy2Bee23 · August 2013

I got this book out of a book bin and it's got some great info about sex after baby and how to make it good. Might help ease your mind. I'm going to be a FTM so I can't say how much of it works or not bit it sounds great!

2010weddinggal · August 2013

Op I literally rolled my eyes at this post, One there is a sex life after a baby how do you think other babies are made.... You need to talk to your SO he may not feel comfortable cause he is afraid he will hurt you..

msronzio · August 2013

butterlola said:

I've always had a pretty high sex drive. My BF's sex drive has been fairly low for a long time now. It bugs me to no end. Somehow I got pg and it hasn't changed my libido at all. If anything, I'm more desperate for it. I keep thinking "This is it! The third trimester I'll be too huge, then after that we'll have a baby to take care of. And there'll be no point anymore anyway, because my vagina will be all stretched out and mangled. This is your last chance to have good sex!" But BF isn't interested all that much, and it bums me out. Yes I've considered dragging him to a therapist but what would that do? I'm not leaving the guy, I love him to death. Anyone in 2nd trimester feeling like the last good sex you had was a loooong time ago?
Please, please--don't post replies about how your husband wants it constantly. I know all about how lucky you are. Your post will only make me upset, so please keep it to yourself.

I don't know to put this in any better words. But you really waited til halfway through pregnancy to decide it was a problem? If this has been going on a fairly long time now I'd say I don't know what to really tell you.

Also, LOL at anyone who would give you "leave him" advice. Seriously?

apostle85 · August 2013

I think this is more about a self confidence issue that anything else. I've been worrying about a lot of things during this pregnancy but haven't thought much about my lady bits. I'm not worried that after the baby comes we will never have sex or that my vag will be all nasty. Sex is an important part of any relationship. This whole pregnancy my sex drive has gone from crazy high to non existent and my hubby works a manual labor job and is often tired during the week.

I would say our sex has been better. How about trying some new positions or talking to your BF about your fears and seeing what he has to say?

I also agree this is a super random thing to talk about for someone I've never seen post on here and that you should not tell people how to reply.

butterlola · August 2013

Thank you, soap1.

imakeeff0rts · August 2013

Wow. Nice edit, bro.

redfallon · August 2013

AFwifelife said:

msronzio said:

butterlola said:

I've always had a pretty high sex drive. My BF's sex drive has been fairly low for a long time now. It bugs me to no end. Somehow I got pg and it hasn't changed my libido at all. If anything, I'm more desperate for it. I keep thinking "This is it! The third trimester I'll be too huge, then after that we'll have a baby to take care of. And there'll be no point anymore anyway, because my vagina will be all stretched out and mangled. This is your last chance to have good sex!" But BF isn't interested all that much, and it bums me out. Yes I've considered dragging him to a therapist but what would that do? I'm not leaving the guy, I love him to death. Anyone in 2nd trimester feeling like the last good sex you had was a loooong time ago?
Please, please--don't post replies about how your husband wants it constantly. I know all about how lucky you are. Your post will only make me upset, so please keep it to yourself.

I don't know to put this in any better words. But you really waited til halfway through pregnancy to decide it was a problem? If this has been going on a fairly long time now I'd say I don't know what to really tell you.
Also, LOL at anyone who would give you "leave him" advice. Seriously?

Thanks for quoting since she edited

@msronzio - Yes, thanks, since by the time I got here, she's edited the entire post out except for one sentence of her original post.

HFrizzle · August 2013

Not sure what's looked down upon more, coming in here with two posts and talking about your sex life, telling people what you don't want to hear in regards to responses or completely editing the OP so it doesn't come off sounding like the poster is being an ass, after 99% of the people responded to it.

Unfortunately for you, it was quoted several times and the bump never forgets.

allurea · August 2013

You didn't know that men lose their sex drive when their SO is pregnant? It's a defense mechanism of sorts so that they don't end up poking the baby in the eye with their man bit.

monkeybutt61612 · August 2013

mmgkms said:

Anyone in 2nd trimester feeling like the last good sex you had was a loooong time ago?

Did you REALLY fuckin alter this post THAT much, and think we wouldn't notice?!?!? Lol.

What was the original question? I must know now.

imakeeff0rts · August 2013

monkeybutt61612 said:

mmgkms said:

Anyone in 2nd trimester feeling like the last good sex you had was a loooong time ago?

Did you REALLY fuckin alter this post THAT much, and think we wouldn't notice?!?!? Lol.

What was the original question? I must know now.

Since apparently it hasn't been quoted about four times already....Next time, read the thread.

Origional Post
butterlola said:

I've always had a pretty high sex drive. My BF's sex drive has been fairly low for a long time now. It bugs me to no end. Somehow I got pg and it hasn't changed my libido at all. If anything, I'm more desperate for it. I keep thinking "This is it! The third trimester I'll be too huge, then after that we'll have a baby to take care of. And there'll be no point anymore anyway, because my vagina will be all stretched out and mangled. This is your last chance to have good sex!" But BF isn't interested all that much, and it bums me out. Yes I've considered dragging him to a therapist but what would that do? I'm not leaving the guy, I love him to death. Anyone in 2nd trimester feeling like the last good sex you had was a loooong time ago?

Please, please--don't post replies about how your husband wants it constantly. I know all about how lucky you are. Your post will only make me upset, so please keep it to yourself.

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