DD 1st bday...is this tacky?

Karleesha · August 2013

Hi!

I mainly lurk on here but I have posted a couple of times.

DD's first birthday is coming up and we are doing a small 'circus' themed party. I would really like to ask guests (mostly family and close friends) to bring a childrens book instead of toys. She barely plays with anything that is a real toy; she'd rather play with a diaper box.

Do y'all think that it is tacky or rude to put in the invitation? How would you word it?
Thanks!

Netty_3 · August 2013

I think you just tell people that ask what she might want.

jlaOK · August 2013

I don't think it's tacky, but I think a lot of people would just buy whatever they wanted anyway. You could always put on the invitation to bring a toy to be donated to XYZ charity. I think something like that would get a better response.

thedash · August 2013

I agree that does not belong on the invitation. Most people will give you a gift receipt so you can exchange the gifts from Target, toys r us, etc for books. And when people ask what she likes you tell them she could really use more books.

Mags748 · August 2013

I agree with others. Traditional etiquette says not to put anything in the invite about gifts. And also like others said, just tell anyone who asks that she needs more books.

kelly422 · August 2013

Kimbus22 said:

It's always rude to tell people what to buy you. Especially unsolicited on an invitation.

It's fine to tell anyone who asks for advice that she likes books.

Agree with PPers.

northtamarack · August 2013

I would be super annoyed. Chances are I would already have purchased a gift, so to have to go back out and buy a book would be one more thing to add to my already full plate.

daisy662 · August 2013

We just had my son's first bday party and the majority of guests asked what he needed. I would just wait until people ask. Yes, I think it is tacky to tell them unless they ask.

ccam · August 2013

I would mention books if someone asks what she'd like, but I would never put it in the invitation.

LoCarb · August 2013

I agree with most, yes it's tacky to mention on the invite of gifts. If ppl ask let them know books are a great idea. Also, DD1 did not play with toys until 14-16mo. Like @privacywanted mentioned the toys may come in use in a few months. I remember once DD1 took an interest I went on a toy shopping spree.

costa2011 · August 2013

Agree w/ PP. Don't put it on the invitation. If people happen to ask, suggest a book. If you get a bunch of things you feel your LO will not play with...you can always exchange them for books or a gift card to wherever they came from.

aeh72 · August 2013

I agree with PP's that it is better to offer the suggestion if people ask but not to state it on the invitation.

On the idea of books though - I don't know what your DD is like, but my son, from early on, only wanted to tear the pages of books (and unfortunately, he's not the sit with mommy or daddy and read a story quietly kind of kid - but we're still hoping for that!). So, he has lots of nice books with tear-able pages that I have had to put away for now. His bookshelf and bins are now filled with cheap board books or soft books that he can play with until his heart's content . . . and not destroy.

All this is to say - if people bring nice books, your DD may just want to tear them up at this age and that may, then, be a waste of your guest's money, or you may have to put them away for a while (which isn't a big deal but something to consider). But, maybe your DD is a much gentler kid than mine! :-)

Also, some of DS's favorite toys are ones that he got as gifts so in letting your guests choose something for your DD, you may find a great little gem of a toy that you wouldn't have thought to get her.

No matter what - have an awesome time with your DD 1st birthday! It such an exciting milestone! :-)

skyejo · August 2013

I keep an Amazon wishlist for my girls. I've shared it with family and friends when they ask what to buy for birthdays and holidays. You could add only books to it and spread the word. Personally I love when people tell me what to buy. I'd rather buy something I know will be used rather than something totally random and my family is the same so this system works out well for us.

Karleesha · August 2013

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the honest answers. My gut told me it was tacky but I just wanted to ask

aeh72 · August 2013

Nicb13 said:

@aeh72, DS loves to look through his books but I still have yet to READ a book to him! I see all these parents post about how a story is part of the bedtime routine and I think what the hell is wrong with my kid?! There's NO way he would sit through me reading a book. LOL

Nicb13 - I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I had all the visions of my sweet little boy sitting in lap while we read a book together. After that didn't work, I would sit in front him and read books with silly voice and he would basically bat the book out of my hand. So much for my storytelling skills! Oh well - I hear from other parents that there's hope. But, heck, at this point, I'm just hoping at some point he will like to read - forget whether he wants me to read to him!

AZ123 · August 2013

I think it is better, besides not looking tacky, to let people especially experienced moms to buy you presents. She'll start getting into sorting toys and other toys that are great for her dexterity of hand use and I'm sure a lot of people will bring books. Also, most people buy for slightly older child thinking of you using stuff throughout the year until age 2.

traveltheworld · August 2013

Oh DS used to just crawl around while I read. He has only started to sit still and listen in the past month or two. He loves flipping the pages on his board books so if I pick a short one (with no more than 1 or 2 sentences per page) and read super fast, I can manage to finish before he loses interest. But when he does crawl off, I keep the bedroom door closed and I just keep reading anyway.

groovygrl · August 2013

northtamarack said:

I would be super annoyed. Chances are I would already have purchased a gift, so to have to go back out and buy a book would be one more thing to add to my already full plate.

I totally don't get this, you would have bought a gift before ever receiving an invitation to a kid's bday?

Anyway I agree it is tacky just to add to the group but definitely not tacky if ppl ask!

For those who say their kids don't listen to books- I went through the same thing w/ my kids but made sure to still have picture books & board books around and looked at them every night at bedimte...sitting through a regular book with a story is one thing, bu tthere are realllllly short books and books like the 'my first words' ones that are great for that age--- you can say words & they point to them to learn basic words and things, progress to them saying them and then to other things like letters or colors eventually. My kids knew the whole alphabet by sight by age 2 b/c of the Eric Carle ABC book, they loved it and we 'read' it all the time, though usually not from a to z, just looking at different pages and saying the letter & then the animal or whatever. Just sayin... You can't really read a story at 1 yr old but the exposure to books is invaluable...research even shows that the more books there are in a child's house growing up, the higher their educational level is likely to be as an adult...(likely b/c of the value the parents place on reading & the exposure to books/reading/learning)

blushingbride_08 · September 2013

I would put a pic of my LO on the invitation reading a book like curious George goes to the circus) Maybe with big glasses and a clown nose. Something cute but to tie in the circus theme and also give a hint that your LO likes books. I wouldn't outwardly request specific gifts though but I would give hints.

ReeB83 · September 2013

blushingbride_08 said:

I would put a pic of my LO on the invitation reading a book like curious George goes to the circus) Maybe with big glasses and a clown nose. Something cute but to tie in the circus theme and also give a hint that your LO likes books. I wouldn't outwardly request specific gifts though but I would give hints.

I like this. Hint at it, but people are going to bring what they bring.

I would prefer people give DS clothes for his birthday since it's so close to toy hell aka Christmas, but I don't tell them that unless they ask. I just put a cute little rhyme at the bottom of the invite with his size on it.

rockychryslerb2010 · September 2013

Are you set on the circus theme? I ask because you could change the theme so that your invitations and party decor could be about reading and creating a library for your child. I think you could come up with some pretty creative wording on the invite to make it acceptable.

That being said, E is a Dec baby and his 1st party was a few days before xmas. I really didn't think E needed all the gifts he would get from the party, so I asked people to make a donation to children's charities instead. I couldn't figure out the right wording for the invite, so I just sent an email and told people the same when they asked what he needed/wanted. I was so glad that a good number donated to Toys for Tots in E's name, and we got a few gifts, but overall I think it worked out well for us.

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DD 1st bday...is this tacky?

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