Adoption
flieswithdragons
member
Question about adoption
flieswithdragons
member
in Adoption
I'm 9 weeks pregnant right now and things are becoming very clear to me that the father isn't father meterial and i am starting to think that i'm not mother meterial either and i don't think i will be able to make ends meet for the baby so i'm starting to thin k about adoption. i know i am early on so my question is will agencys still talk to me if i am so early? i don't think i am ready yet to look at parents or make official plans yet but still i am very early on in my pregnancy so even in a few weeks when i am ready would they want to talk to me? what happens if i were to change my mind after picking parents, could they still take the baby anyways?
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Re: Question about adoption
Yes, an agency will still talk to you. Early conversations are going to be more like why you are considering adoption, what kind of resources you need, that sort of thing. An ethical agency will help you look at ALL of your options, whether it's parenting or making an adoption plan. A lot of agencies won't be asking you to choose a family until much later on.
Not sure about that last question. Do you mean could you pick parents, then pick another set of parents later on? If that's your question, you won't continue to be presented with families. But if something happened and you didn't feel comfortable with who you picked, you could talk to an agency and tell them it wasn't feeling right. They could help you decide if they were someone to stick with, or if you should look at other families.
I think a lot of your questions will be answered with a call/visit to an agency. They can walk you through the process and help you decide if that's what you want to do.
GL
Even if you decide to make an adoption plan during your pregnancy, know that once the baby is born you essentially have to re-make that decision. If you change your mind during the period before you give birth, either about the family you have chosen, or about the adoption plan entirely, an agency can NOT still take your baby. If you change your mind after you give birth, and before you sign paperwork, an agency can NOT take your baby. If you change your mind after you place your child with a family, depending on the state, there are still actions you can take to revoke your consent to the adoption and have the child returned to your custody. Expectant parents that work with ethical agencies are often well protected legally, with separate legal representation and without pressure to place from the agency they are working with.
Two agencies that I know offer significant counseling to expectant moms are:
Adoption Star -they work in Ohio, Florida and New York
and Spence Chapin- they work in New York.
If you google either, you will find their websites and folks you can talk to as you begin to consider your decisions.
Good luck in whatever choices you make!