To early to be OAD? — The Bump
One & Done: Only child

To early to be OAD?

Our new baby boy is almost 7 weeks old. The delivery and post-partum worry, stress, etc. was tough. We are 40 and 42. I can't imagine going through this again-- just want our baby to be healthy and happy. I like the idea of a little family unit. My DH and I both have siblings, good trauma is part of making the decision. Age is a factor, too.

Re: To early to be OAD?

  • We knew before we started trying that we were OAD. We waited a year before scheduled the V just in case. Congrats on your baby!
  • I don't think there is ever a too early to make a decision.  That being said, if your decision is about the immediate post-partum issues, I will say that the strong feelings about them decrease with time.  I had a stressful pregnancy, horrible PPA and a rough L&D and if it weren't for some other factors (finance and feeling our family is complete) I don't reflect as negatively on the pregnancy and 12 weeks post partum as I did closer to the event.  I could see trying for more if we were more undecided at this point.


  • No one can tell you if it's too early.  Only you know your mind.  But I will say that the negative emotions of the first few weeks (months) fade with time.  The first three months with my daughter were... HELL.  And not some big medical reason, but a combination of nursing issues (oversupply and nipple compression, mostly), reflux, high needs baby who doesn't sleep, weak from blood loss, etc, etc.  The next six to nine months after that sucked a lot too.  But here I am three years in, willing to have another.  (We may be OAD, but we might not.  We haven't made the family decision on that one yet - my husband feels pretty OAD.)

    So, I might wait to make your decision permanent, but if you feel your decision is made, that's totally up to you!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Yeah, it's hard to tell.. everyone is different. Some decide BEFORE they have a child that they only want one, some decide after.  Some think they want one, and change their minds.  Some never ever will.  Really depends on you.

    Congrats on your little one!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

  • I think you either know or you don't-- there's no special right or wrong time. We knew before I was even pregnant that we only wanted one. I ad a terrible pregnancy but I wouldn't have changed my mind even if it was great. I love my son and he's all we need.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I knew right from the start of my pregnancy that my boy would be my unique child.
    He's about to be 3, and I haven't changed my mind.

    Give yourself a little time, your baby is sooo little!
    Who knows?
  • We are OAD and we don't have a baby yet. (We are adopting and waiting to be matched with a birthmother.)  If it feels right, go with it. Only you can decide what is best for you.
    Pursing Domestic Infant Adoption through a local agency. In the meantime, our dog is our baby.  Bumping from Portland, Oregon. 
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