Attachment Parenting

Daycare help

I go back to work soon, so I'm trying to find DD a daycare spot. The licenced daycares in this area only take kids 24 months and up, so I have to use home daycare. What should I be looking for? And what questions should I be asking? I visit the first one tomorrow and just realized I don't have a clue. I have never left DD for more than an hour (and not at all in the last month), so tips on how to transition to 13h days at daycare would be great too! She's currently EBF and rocked to sleep. I start her in daycare a month before I start work, so I can start with shorter days if that might help her adjust.
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Re: Daycare help

  • I worked from when DS was 3-8 months old, and I have a list of criteria that I made of things that were important to me in a caregiver for him. It's too long to post here, so I'll PM it to you. :)

    As far as the transition, if you could take her to the place you choose to play for a bit while you're there, that would give her a chance to familiarize herself with the place, and it would give you a chance to touch some of the surfaces there so that your milk can preemptively combat the new germs. ;) Letting her get to know the caregiver a bit might help her too. 
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  • I didn't get to go daycare shopping.  Due to my job situation, I had one day to find a daycare, and there was only one that had an immediate opening.  BUT I got really lucky, so I'll tell you what I love about my daycare, because if I was shopping, these are the things I would look for:

    * What do they do with the kids all day?
     - when I was pregnant and looking into daycare options, the cream of the crop daycare provider in our area had a no-bumbo policy.  Not just the bumbo per se, but the philosophy there was that you didn't leave the kids in a swing/seat/bouncer.  Instead they had them on play mats, interacting with them, etc.  The daycare my son is at wasn't bumbo free, but they used them as tools/toys more than just plopping kids in there.  The thing I would really be concerned about with in-home care (and I'm not knocking in home care, it can be fantastic) is that they're not just plopping the kid down and doing their own thing.  I'd want to make sure there's lots of interaction, playtime, etc.  I'm in Southern California, so it's realistic that my son has outdoor play every day.  If I were somewhere with more inclement weather, I would want him to have outdoor play whenever the weather permitted.


    * How do they handle sleep?
     - Here I mean both naps and the children actually sleeping.  Are naps scheduled or based on the child's cues?  How do they get the kids to sleep?  What if the kids don't fall asleep?  What if the kids don't stay asleep?  Like I said, I got really lucky and my Daycare rocked my son to sleep until he didn't need rocking anymore. 

    * How do they handle crying/upset kids?
    - One of the things that really spoke to me about our daycare was one day when I picked up my son and overheard one of the DCPs talking to a parent who was complaining about her child's short naps.  They said they're not allowed to let the child just cry in the crib.  Personally, I liked that.  I liked knowing that my child was going to be attended to when he was upset.  And I saw that first hand when we went through some separation anxiety and drop offs were really hard for him.  One of his "teachers" would whisk him away when we got there and help him find a special toy to distract him and calm him.

    * Feeding?
    - like naps, is this by schedule or by cue?  Are they familiar with bottle feeding a breastfed baby?  Do they have any rules about solids? (purees v. BLW) Do they help transition to sippies from bottles?

    * Discipline?
    - How do they handle it when the kids misbehave?  Because let's face it, none of our kids are 100% angels.  I like the positive/gentle discipline my daycare provides.  They don't say no, they tell the kids things "aren't safe" or redirect them to better behaviors. 

    * Communication?
    - One of the things I really like about my daycare are the daily updates.  I get a little report of what he did every day - activities, how he ate, slept, diapers, what his mood was like.  This was really helpful in the beginning at learning about what toys we should invest in, because they noted the ones that kept his attention!

    I did a little blurb about our experience with daycare last year on my blog.  If you have any concerns (because what mom doesn't?) it might make you feel a little better about your decision:  A Home Away From Home
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  • Wow! Thank you both so much for the in depth replies! I feel much better prepared now for tomorrow. Emerald-I especially like the tip for exposing myself to the germs to help DD :)
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  • I teach an enrichment class at an in-home daycare. Im lucky to have my mom watch J, so she doesn't go here, but a couple of areas of concern for me are (in addition to the PPs suggestions): 

    -who is with the kids? And if that person isn't there, what is the plan? 
    I mention this because the DC lady said sometimes her son leaves work to watch the DC kids if she has to run out. is ther any way to get a background check on the in-home provider since this is always done on center employees?

     What is the condition of the house and is there a DC room?
    This was another weird thing I noticed. There house is remarkably clean and toy-free for a DC. They have a converted garage room with a half door where the kids are corralled. I have no idea if this is normal, but it seems really boring. 

    Pets! Are there any? Are they around the kids?
    This place has cats. I'm allergic and I have no idea if DD is as well. 

    The sad thing is they are super nice and really sweet. I'm sure they do a fantastic job 90% of the time, but there seems to be a lot of opportunity for improvement. Good luck! And if your gut feels like something doesn't fit - dont do it!
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  • My DS goes to a small in-home daycare (4 kids, including my DS). Personally I'm very happy with it so far. He's been attending for 2.5 months. I like that it feels like a home, not a sterile school environment. He's the youngest child there (just turned 5 months) and he seems enthralled by the older kids (16 months and two 3 year olds). The woman who runs it does a great job of communicating. I really like that I get a written report everyday that includes info about when & how much he ate, when he napped, etc. I know I haven't said anything that pp's haven't already said, but wanted you to know that there are perks to in-home DCPs if you find the right one. I always joke that *I* want to stay there during the day! GL with your search!
  • I know how you feel.  I went back to work just before DD's first birthday.  She was still being nursed to sleep.  I found a dayhome for her and I took DD there part time for about two weeks before I went back to work.  The first couple times I just went with her and let her play and then she started having lunch and nap time there.  This helped a lot.
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  • You've already got some great questions (which I would have said.)  So I'll just add a couple of things.

    1-  Look for someone who is familiar with breastmilk if you plan to pump.  Makes like much easier when you are not worried they are going to waste it or want to overfeed or try and spread out feedings because the are used to formula feed babies.

    My LO has been at an in-home daycare since he was about 6mo (with summers off).  I actually prefer in home because you have the same person all day every day.  It's much more like a 2nd mom in my sons case in the way she cares for him.

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