Having a harder time getting excited with #2

Nicolewinsbingo · August 2013

Any other second+ time moms have a harder time getting excited this go around? With DS, I was so thrilled and excited every single day, and it was practically the only thing I thought about. This time I acknowledge the new baby maybe a couple times a day, but its not on my mind much. I am definitely happy to be pregnant, just not excited. I'm hoping that hearing the heart beat and starting to feel movement will really help get me excited like I was last time.

Maybe I'm not as excited this time just because its not all shiny and new...but I will still be just as thrilled about meeting LO in the delivery room...right??

Navy_Redhead · August 2013

So glad to see this post. I've been going through the same thing. I have always wanted more than one child, but this is still taking some adjusting for me. I had just finished weaning my son in April, and he's been sleeping through the night just beautifully. When I found out I was pregnant again, one of the first things I thought of was how we wouldn't be able to sleep through the night anymore for a long while. I think that it might just be that now my husband and I have a better idea of what having a baby really truly means, and some of the mystery has been taken out of it for us. But we are still happy about having a new baby joining our family. I can't wait for my son to meet his little sibling. Seeing the first ultrasound today really helped me connect with this pregnancy and baby.

rtv3 · August 2013

This is my first but I still sometimes forget that I'm pregnant. I think it'll be more real once I have my first dr. appt. and mebbe an u/s

SeattleMomma · August 2013

I'm excited but not like how I was with my first because my body hates being pregnant and I have a longggg road ahead. I'm so tried 24.7 that's its hard to get excited about anything. This is my third

melzh · August 2013

There is a joke that says FTM: I am 20 wks 4 days 3 hrs, my baby is the size of a ______ and my nursery is complete, hospital bag is packed let's do this!

2nd+ time mom: oh shit, I'm 39 weeks... I should probably buy something...

Scarlett&Gatsby · August 2013

I think it's partially that the "new factor" isn't there as much, and partially that you're pretty busy. I'm happy/excited for the new baby and all, but I just don't have the time in the day to "dream" about it the way I did before I had kids.

It's not like you're not busy before you have kids, but your priorities/attentions are different. It's hard to think too much about what the new baby will be like when you are already pretty consumed with the older child's needs/wants/emotions/concerns.

If nothing else, it makes the pregnancy go by a lot quicker.

Aearnold · August 2013

I agree completely! I just found out I am pregnant with my second baby and while I am very happy to be pregnant (I have been baby crazy since my first was born), I am not excited. I hated being pregnant and think that my memories of how uncomfortable I was with the first is holding back my excitement with baby no. 2. As they say, ignorance is bliss!

Beckypooh09 · August 2013

Honestly I'm just too tired to even be excited about the new baby. I don't even feel like going to all the doctors appointments and doing all the lab work and crap. Toward the end of my second pregnancy I was more excited but then all his moving started to be super painful and I just wanted him here already.

Nicolewinsbingo · August 2013

To the mamas who already have two, @Beckypooh09 @SeattleMomma @Scarlett&Gatsby, did you feel the same thrill when you first met your second born as you did with the first born? I keep telling myself that even if I don't get quite as excited this time around that I will fall in love as deeply and the bond will be just as strong with #2 once he or she is born as it is with #1.

Beckypooh09 · August 2013

DS2 was such a hard newborn I feel like I just went straight into survival mode after having him. It was almost just as crazy that they were letting me take this one home too though. lol. I carried DS2 a lot in a carrier so I think that really helped us bond. He's a huge Mamas boy and always has been.

rlmanning · August 2013

Ya I think I am in denial about this but to hear you girls admit it makes me think. I just don't feel that connection yet. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm thrilled to be pregnant! We had been trying for a few months. I have seen the heart beat. But I just keep thinking how am I gonna love this little one as much as I love my DD.

Beckypooh09 · August 2013

rlmanning said:

Ya I think I am in denial about this but to hear you girls admit it makes me think. I just don't feel that connection yet. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm thrilled to be pregnant! We had been trying for a few months. I have seen the heart beat. But I just keep thinking how am I gonna love this little one as much as I love my DD.

I've heard this is quite common. I'm pretty sure your heart just gets a little bigger each time.

SeattleMomma · August 2013

Once I had him in my arms it was the exact same feeling. Love,excitement and a big phewwww it's over.

fireflygirl12 · August 2013

I had this conversation with DH just the other night. I think that I'm still excited for this baby, but with #1 it consumed all my thoughts and I couldn't really focus much at work for awhile. Now I'm busy with DS a lot, so I think that I just don't think about it as much. It also took awhile to actually hit me with #1 and I don't think I'm quite there yet with this one, even though we've seen the heartbeat. It's still pretty surreal.

apollonia10 · August 2013

I feel the same way. Definitely glad to be pregnant, but I can't help but be a little sad that my days with just DS are numbered!

SB31 · August 2013

Thanks for bringing this up. I had my first u/s today and loved seeing my little babe, but it's not the same. Partly because like others have said, I'm freaking exhausted (DD doesn't STTN yet), and partly because DD is difficult and I'm terrified of 2u2 :-S

Lovelife14 · August 2013

I'm thrilled to be pregnant too, but its definitely not as all-consuming as my last pregnancy. I think it's just that its not new. My mom keeps forgetting that I'm even pregnant, lol.

ekmebm · August 2013

I feel the same way. So excited for this baby, but it's also not all-consuming like my first baby was. It's nice to hear I am not the only one feeling that way.

AcaAwkward · August 2013

I'm definitely not as excited although this child is 100% wanted. DDwas a terrible sleeper (didn't STTN until 11 mo) and she still nurses at 18 mo...I just feel like I never got my body back / got a break between the two. And I worry how a 2nd child will affect DD and how I'll ever manage to love #2 as much as #1.

smashton14th · August 2013

I was feeling guilty about this feeling ever since i got pregnant. I finally talked about it last night with my DH and it made me feel better talking about it.
It is just hard being nauseous and having a 1 year old running around. My DD is in such a good phase right now (STTN, she is weaning, walking) it is hard to think about starting all over. I know it will be hard to have 2u2 but we will make it work!

jsoubel · August 2013

Thank goodness I'm not a terrible mom for feeling this way! I was feeling guilty about it. For me, I think part of the issue is that I already have all the stuff ready to go for#2. I was consumed with planning for DD, and this time i don't have anything to do so I often kinda forget that I'm pregnant.

MyLuckyCharms · August 2013

yeah I feel less OMG about the whole thing. In fact I'm feeling super blah about it lately with the sickness and exhaustion. I feel such guilt that I won't be fully "there" for my toddler the next 8 months,then I'll have a squalling newb on my boob for a year+ and I won't get to sleep.

My daughter wasn't the greatest sleeper, now she STTN mostly but that didn't happen consistently until she was 1.

Also I dread all the pumping at work already.

I just need to get this dating u/s out of the way and I can relax. All the twins on this board are FREAKING ME THE EFF OUT because no thank you, I cannot handle twins so please let it just be one in there.

JWest07 · August 2013

So glad others feel this way. I am not one who got particularly excited while preggers even the fist time around, but every day I am wondering how I will have time to give both children the time they need. I love every moment with my DS, and I am sad that we won't have nearly as much one-on-one when new baby arrives.

JWest07 · August 2013

I am afraid I will resent the new baby for taking time away from DS. :-(

momofmanyinthemitten · August 2013

Having a child at home already takes your focus off the pregnancy. When I was pregnant with #2, I was worried about how I would be able to love another as much as #1, and how she would always be my favorite. All that went out the window when DS was born. He is amazing and the love multiplies. And it's so neat to see the two of them interact. Now, with the third baby, I have no time to think about anything but my two other kids.

sspires · August 2013

I'm pregnant w my 4th. I haven't felt as excited as I was w #2&3. (#1 I was given at 17-not so thrilling). I can tell you this, every baby you have you will fall in love all over again. It's hard to be excited when you're this miserable, right?? (Puking and exhausted.....) but when you see that baby for the first time you get the overwhelming rush and you will forget you were ever sick!! (Ok not completely. But it will definitely be overshadowed).

Stasi · August 2013

I'm just starting to get there. I'm really trying to get to a place where this baby gets all the positive love and vibes that DD got when I found out I was pregnant with her.

The cool thing is, I already feel a little more connected with this one because I'm more comfortable and familiar with the journey we're about to take together. #2 gets a more confident, relaxed mom than DD did...

tabaskoa · August 2013

I was super excited with my first - I looked back at my blog and when I was 5 weeks pregnant with #1 we'd already picked out first names, I had the nursery planned out in my head, and I had even bought a pair of maternity pants. WTF!?

This time I'm having a harder time letting myself get excited. I'm not worried in any way about bringing a second child home (I'm really ready at this point), but I'm just not as optimistic about it. I think I'm protecting myself "just in case". I still haven't been to the doc / had an u/s yet so I think that's part of it for me.

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