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September 2012 Moms
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Why Facebook stalking is bad

melody921melody921 member
in September 2012 Moms
So I was with girlfriends over the weekend, and one of them is a serial FB stalker. We started looking up a bunch of people we knew from college, including my ex-fiance, who is now married with a little girl and another one on the way. I seriously wish I had never even seen his profile. We had a very abrupt breakup, I pretty much had no desire to ever see or speak to him again and I was convinced he would spend his adult life as the same immature loser he had proven himself to be back then.

Now I see his adorable, smart (college professor) wife, and come to find he actually graduated school and got a decent job. And for some reason, that makes me feel kind of sad/like a loser. Does that make any sense at all? I don't want anyone to think I mean that I would want to be back with him (God, no) or that I don't appreciate and love the awesome little family DH and I have created. But it's like everything I thought all these years was all wrong. 

And on a side note, why the hell don't people have stronger FB privacy settings?

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Re: Why Facebook stalking is bad

  • willy_gertwilly_gert member
    LOL @melody921 I know how you feel!  My boyfriend before DH was a very serious boyfriend, ::read engaged without the ring:: and then he went to school in Nebraska and got stupid.  We had the worst breakup because it wasn't really a breakup and I had hardcore feelings for him.  

    When FB showed up, we became friends because someone "suggested" it back when they had that feature.  I finally deleted him, because it pissed me off that he got all responsible and got a super awesome job and married someone who looked nice enough, but I just wanted to hate her.  It sucked ass, and now I refuse to go anywhere near his profile.  

    I am better off not seeing what he turned into.
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  • MarisaKathleenMarisaKathleen member

    I know how you feel too! :-)

    I wish my exs had all stayed losers.  My first love ended up graduating from M.I.T and has a really good job, lives in Boston and got married last year.  Had their wedding at the NE Aquarium and it was gorgeous.  We haven't spoken in over 10 years but man,  I wish he would have stayed a stupid frat boy.

    It is because of that that I no longer FB stalk people who have seen me naked.


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  • BPerBPer member
    I read in our newspaper last week that my ex just graduated with his doctorate in pharmacology, alongside his MBA, and another is always posting hawt photos of himself on Facebook. Facebook stalking is the devil.
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  • melody921melody921 member
    MarisaKathleen said:

    I know how you feel too! :-)

    I wish my exs had all stayed losers.  My first love ended up graduating from M.I.T and has a really good job, lives in Boston and got married last year.  Had their wedding at the NE Aquarium and it was gorgeous.  We haven't spoken in over 10 years but man,  I wish he would have stayed a stupid frat boy.

    It is because of that that I no longer FB stalk people who have seen me naked.

    LOL at this. You ladies are making me feel a little better here. Thank you. All exes should remain losers, hook up with losers and have loser families. It's only fair.

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  • tinyhumantoetinyhumantoe member
    LoisLayn23 said:
    I always feel guilty and sad when I creep. I love my little life and I hate thinking about the alternatives.
    This!  One day I decided it wasn't a healthy thing to do.

    On the flip side, I left my ex-fia and now his wife just left him (he's my brother's bff).  I'm so sad and reliving the guilt from what I did all over again because he is such a good person.  How the relationship ended has an impact on what feelings can get drudged up.

    Melody - I'm sure he would get a rush of weird feels if he saw a pic of you and your family.  I mean really, look at your kids  :x

    And fuck FB.  Privacy FTW!  I haven't deleted mine because I think it looks weird when work people google me and don't see any type of FB existence.  But it's private and abandoned.
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  • melody921melody921 member
    tinyhumantoe said:
    LoisLayn23 said:
    I always feel guilty and sad when I creep. I love my little life and I hate thinking about the alternatives.
    This!  One day I decided it wasn't a healthy thing to do.

    On the flip side, I left my ex-fia and now his wife just left him (he's my brother's bff).  I'm so sad and reliving the guilt from what I did all over again because he is such a good person.  How the relationship ended has an impact on what feelings can get drudged up.

    Melody - I'm sure he would get a rush of weird feels if he saw a pic of you and your family.  I mean really, look at your kids  :x

    And fuck FB.  Privacy FTW!  I haven't deleted mine because I think it looks weird when work people google me and don't see any type of FB existence.  But it's private and abandoned.
    Yeah, I think I need to abandon it too. And thanks, my kids are awesome, my life is great, I need to not dwell on this garbage.

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  • PepperStickPepperStick member
    I feel the same way. My BFF of like, over 10 years is currently in a serious relationship with the guy I lost my virginity too and was totally head over heels for even though he was a complete douchebag. Apparently he's all great and wonderful now. I do feel a little better seeing that he's gained a lot of weight.
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  • tinyhumantoetinyhumantoe member
    PepperStick said:

    I feel the same way. My BFF of like, over 10 years is currently in a serious relationship with the guy I lost my virginity too and was totally head over heels for even though he was a complete douchebag. Apparently he's all great and wonderful now. I do feel a little better seeing that he's gained a lot of weight.

    I hope I've been a nice enough person my whole life that nobody is glad to see I've gained weight! Lol!
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  • PepperStickPepperStick member
    tinyhumantoe said:
    I feel the same way. My BFF of like, over 10 years is currently in a serious relationship with the guy I lost my virginity too and was totally head over heels for even though he was a complete douchebag. Apparently he's all great and wonderful now. I do feel a little better seeing that he's gained a lot of weight.
    I hope I've been a nice enough person my whole life that nobody is glad to see I've gained weight! Lol!
    When we dated he was really horrible about appearance and weight. Our real breaking point was when he told me he wished my hair was lighter, boobs bigger and that I was shorter so I could wear higher heels. (What?) He critiqued himself and had me do it to him too. It just makes me smile because I've been the same weight for 10 years even after two kids and he's not when he used to care so much.
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  • tinyhumantoetinyhumantoe member
    @pepperstick oh, I totally play the haha card in my head. Not judging! I think it's funny sometimes how things work out :D
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