Anyone heard of a birth mom pumping breast-milk?

CarolinaGirl2014 · August 2013

I know I'm getting post-happy with y'all. Bear with me because I promise it will slow down. One thing I've had anxiety over with giving my baby up is not breast-feeding.I know that many babies are solely formula feed and are so amazingly healthy, but I can't deny that there ARE benefits to breast milk. I've actually thought about pumping milk for the first few weeks and getting that to the adoptive parents, but I don't know if that is completely insane and if it's ever been done before. Thoughts?

ellekae · August 2013

I think that is a wonderful idea, and most prospective adoptive parents who are looking for an open adoption would LOVE that you are willing to pump. It is a bit exhausting, but totally worth it! Good luck!

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CarolinaGirl2014 · August 2013

I think mentally it would be good for me to feel like I am giving one final thing to my baby, and physically while demanding, I know it would help my body to recover quicker. The family I'm looking at is two hours away so I'm guessing baby would have a mixture of breastmilk and formula but I'm sure I could freeze and they could maybe get someone to get it once a week? Anyway, nice to know it's at least a possibility!

Nicolewinsbingo · August 2013

I think at least while in the hospital it would be absolutely fantastic. The colostrum is, as they stereotypically say, liquid gold. It does fantastic things for the digestion tract and I think as long as the baby is in the hospital you probably can decide what he/she is being fed. After the baby goes home then it might be harder, but still worthwhile, and I bet you could find adoptive parents who would not only be open to the idea but LOVE it.

CarolinaGirl2014 · August 2013

Good point! The potential mom I'm looking at now is very holistic and natural-minded, so she very well may want to induce lactation herself. It's a topic I want to bring up with them when the time is right, but I guess I wanted to make sure it isn't absolutely insane before doing so. Donating for a few weeks is a great idea, too. Either way myself and a baby get the benefits!

CarolinaGirl2014 · August 2013

Nicolewinsbingo said:

I think at least while in the hospital it would be absolutely fantastic. The colostrum is, as they stereotypically say, liquid gold. It does fantastic things for the digestion tract and I think as long as the baby is in the hospital you probably can decide what he/she is being fed. After the baby goes home then it might be harder, but still worthwhile, and I bet you could find adoptive parents who would not only be open to the idea but LOVE it.

Good point! I want the adoptive parents to have input in everything possible though, so if they were even uncomfortable with it in the hospital I wouldn't force it. I don't think I want to directly breastfeed, either, because that would be too hard.

Ginny0211 · August 2013

I think it's great that you're thinking of this and have the open communication to discuss it with the adoptive mom.

I briefly considered breast feeding my birthson and pumping but when I brought it up to my Dr. she acted as though it was an absolutely crazy idea so I dropped it. I wish I had pumped. I would of loved to of given that to my birthson, if his mom was ok with it. And if she was not, i like the idea of donating! And it would of really helped with the painful engorgement to slowly wean from a pump. FYI cabbage leaves just make you look funny with them stuffed in your bra. LOL. They don't help!

fledgegrl1 · August 2013

I don't think it is insane at all. As PP have said, there are some prospective adoptive parents who would LOVE to have this offer. Some PAPs may hesitate to ask about it, so initiating the conversation is probably a good idea.

Dr.Loretta · August 2013

I would definitely suggest it and see if they're open to it. You might be pleasantly surprised

IdigDirt · August 2013

Not the same at all but my friend was a surrogate and she pumped for the twins for 6 weeks I think. It was in her contract. After that she continued to pump a bit and donated to a bank since it was too expensive to keep shipping to the moms.

Flamingo86 · August 2013

I think it's a great idea. Personally, as a potential adoptive mom, I would love that.

maryoosa · August 2013

Hi,

We have had a baby placed with us now for the past month, and one of the things that was super important to his mom was that she pump and provide milk for us. And she has been. It's been amazing. She exclusively nursed him in the hospital, I've done adoptive breastfeeding with a supplemental nursing system and her breast milk since I've had him home and we also bottle feed him with pumped milk. It's amazing. And it is important to her because she feels like it's something that she can give the baby. She also nurses him occasionally when we hang out.

We have seen each other frequently enough, and her supply is strong enough that we pick up milk whenever we spend time together. The longest we've gone without seeing each other has been 8 days. So- unless you can find an intermediary, it might mean a lot of heavy contact with the adoptive family (with or without the baby) in the first few weeks--- you are probably going to feel exhausted physically and I'm sure emotionally things might be challenging as well should you decide to place---so be certain you have a good support system in place for what you need.

As an adoptive mom, I'm utterly grateful and thrilled that our baby's mom pumps for us. I think we're going through 6 months with the pumping...

arbutusbride · August 2013

I think I recall a couple of birthmothers doing this at our agency. At our training seminars the clinicians addressed it. They said it is up to the BM and AP if they want to do it. If our future BM lives close by and wanted to do it, I would be all over it but it is not up to me.

I know some adoptive moms have done the lactation induction but I don't envision myself doing it. I think it is a bit weird and does not appeal to me. Had I given birth, I would have breastfed.

mtendere · August 2013

I think there would be plenty of APs that would welcome this. As someone who had great difficulty breastfeeding, though, I'd advise you to not to get to a place where you've talked to the APs and suddenly feel obligated to continue, even if it is difficult for you. Talk to them, obviously. I don't know if I'm making sense, but You'll likely have all sorts of emotions you can't predict and sometimes our bodies don't cooperate. In the end, I was able to BF, but it was a rocky road, for sure. Set yourself up for success, but allow yourself to consider what you might do or how you might feel if you try, but it doesn't work or is harder than you envisioned.

If you do continue, I'd suggest looking into renting a hospital grade pump and use it starting soon after the birth. Store bought pumps are fine for an occasional pumping, but if you want it to be a major source of nutrition, they can be hard to keep up and not nearly as efficient. Also get tapped in with the hospital's Lactation consultant and make sure you've got everything working properly and the right sizes of everything (I didn't know for 2 weeks that I had the wrong size pieces making things more painful!). Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

ABMomofBBx3 · August 2013

Our birthmom BF at the hospital and then pumped for us. It was such a wonderful gift for her baby, something I truly appreciated and still do to this day

MagickalNarwhal · August 2013

I would have been thrilled if our kids birth mom was interested in this. She wasn't and that was totally fine of course. Our best friends' daughter's birthmom pumped for 6 months. It was a local, very open adoption and she basically delivered the breastmilk every few days.

I agree about not making an actual commitment - more a plan that you can check in about. I'd suggest starting with a small time frame, then, if it feels good for everyone, you can continue.

There are some PAPs that would be thrilled with this arrangement, but there would also be some PAPs that would be uncomfortable with it, so just FYI. It might feel great for you to be able to contribute to your child's health in that way, but it also may be something that is too painful or that interferes with your ability to grieve and let go, so just be totally open to how you end up feeling about it when the time comes.

Its great that you are open to doing it!! I also agree with getting a hospital grade pump and good lactation support (I'd even suggest a private, board certified LC outside the hospital as they are more likely to have better experience with supporting someone outside that immediate post-partum time, at least around here).

maryoosa · August 2013

I'll put a plug in--- we rented a Medela Symphony for our baby's parent - they say it's been great. Recently, they requested a hand pump- so we got them the $45.00 one from Lanisoh which has also been terrific.

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