Bitten at gym daycare

MaggieF516 · August 2013

Hi everyone, I thought I would try to get some advice here from everyone. My little guy (14 mos) was bitten by a baby that was almost 2 at the gym daycare on Saturday. He is watched by his grandma so nothing like this has ever happened before. He had a bump/bruise and a small cut near his eye (it was right on his eyebrow). They came and got me when it happened and he wasn't even crying by the time I got there. I think it looked worse than it was because he wasn't upset at all. It was one of the daycare employee's son. She wasn't supposed to have her son at the daycare, but they allowed it. She is a really sweet girl and felt awful that her son had done this and was actually sobbing because she was so upset.

I realize these types of accidents happen, but my son's father (we are seperated) is really angry and doesn't want me to bring him to the gym daycare anymore. I work full time, have an awful commute, am a single mom, etc. and going to the gym is the only stress relief I have. He doesn't want him watched anywhere where the workers aren't certified in childcare, there aren't a specific # of employees per child, etc. I called the gym to talk about it and I guess he has bitten other kids and he isn't going to be allowed back. I feel really bad about this now. I don't know, my son goes to the gym daycare about 3 hrs a week and it is the only interaction he has with other babies and kids. He LOVES it. He sometimes cries when we have to leave. I don't want to take it away from him because of this incident. The girls that work there love him and I honestly think the little boy got jealous because his mother might have been paying attention to my son.

What is everyone's opinion on this situation? Is my ex being unreasonable with requesting he not go the daycare again? Also, do you think I should contact the pedi since he was bitten? I would think a 2 year old would not have any communicable diseases but who knows. I've heard biting is pretty common in babies this age so I'm guessing someone here might have experience. Thanks in advance

blu-eyedwife · August 2013

I think this is a hard one. I do think your ex is over-reacting, but he has a right to express his feelings on the matter, and they shouldn't be disregarded just because he's overreacting. If the situation had been reversed - if you felt that he was doing something not in your son's best interest, you would want him to take your concerns seriously.

I think you probably need to have a talk with him about this and explain what the gym is doing to address this, and try to talk him down.

I wouldn't worry too much about contacting the pedi. I usually joke when my son is bitten that I'll keep my eye out for behaviors that involve a desire to drink blood, eat brains, or howl at the moon - but otherwise there's not much to worry about (aside from proper wound care of course).

FemShep · August 2013

I think your ex is totally reasonable to expect that your LO will be watched in a licensed facility with a proper number of qualified, background-checked providers. But I'm really surprised your gym wouldn't qualify here. I'd verify with the gym that the childcare is properly licensed and supervised, share your findings with your ex, and see if that puts his mind at ease.

janinekrause · August 2013

Personally, yes, he is totally unreasonable. I would think the gym has to be licensed and these things happen everywhere. it has NOTHING to do with whether or not people are licensed. it is called reality of children. I cant remember how old my daughter was- maybe 2, and she bit her friend on her cheek at a licensed daycare. She wasnt a biter- just did it, and didnt do it again. they told the parents who happened to be our friends- we felt terrible but i certainly wasn't sobbing. Sorry if I sound callous but its just a bite- and I think you can count out rabies

I would explain to him how they are addressing it and that kids are kids.

dufferoo · August 2013

I don't know your situation with your ex, but, yes, it sounds like your ex is being unreasonable. it sounds like a silly power play in my opinion. Picture this: he's having a birthday party or a family reunion or something with a bunch of kids there, but no licensed childcare workers, no certain teacher to child ratios. Someone bites your child, and your kid is okay. Would your ex freak out about that? Would you freak out? My guess is no. It's a simple accident that was not the result of any lack of supervision.

Nel11 · August 2013

I think it's unreasonable to expect your kid to always be watched by a licensed provider... I mean, he's okay with Grandma watching him and I'm guessing she isn't licensed right? You don't need a license to be a great babysitter, plus, I have a hard time believing that a gym daycare isn't properly licensed... have you checked with them? There are usually pretty strict rules about that.

About the biting itself- it sucks but it's a very normal behavior, and not reflective on the kid, the mom, or the daycare IMO. Now, if he was being bit every single time he was there, that would be another story. But just the one time doesn't mean anyone is being negligent, etc.

Meery82 · August 2013

I think he's overreacting. As long as they're being properly super used, I think it's fine. Maybe if he came in and looked around the daycare, he would feel more at ease. Biting happens, especially at this age. My son has been bitten at daycare. He was fine. It didn't break his skin, but since it sounds like that did happen in your situation, you may want to let the pedi know. They will probably just tell you to watch for signs of infection (redness, swelling, drainage). But my guess is he will be fine!

preggersin2011 · August 2013

I'm confused- there is a cut above the eye? The doesn't really sound like a bite to me with out seeing a photo or you saying there is a full set of teeth marks.
LO gets bit at day care all the time- at least 3x a week. As long as the skin isn't broken it is a no harm no foul type of situation. If the skin did break then yes, call the pedi. It is usually a ring of teeth marks, some times a bruise. The skin hasn't been broken either. Typical places that biting has occurred are on the arm, shoulder or leg. A bite above the eye sounds weird to me....i'm not saying it didn't happen just that its weird. It sounds more like a fall onto an object or getting hit with something to me
If they aren't changing your child's diaper then is it technically isn't a day care situation anyways. It is a supervised group play.

sunnyday016 · August 2013

I think your ex is being unreasonable. Kids bite. Kids get bitten. It's a stage that a lot of toddlers go through. Your LO was unfortunately on the receiving end this time, but in a few months he may be the biter- you just don't know and there's not really anything you can do to prevent it.

I would say a solution with your ex would be saying, "Here are the days and times I will be going to the gym. You can watch your son yourself then, or he will go to the gym daycare". If he feels that strongly about it, then he should take you up on that.

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