Well that sucked

malamutemommy · August 2013

I was just informed by my fiance that I don't "try to be sexy for him anymore." Seriously? Sorry I'm never in the mood. It doesn't and never has turned me on for him to walk by and grab at my boobs and butt. Especially now since my boobs are terribly sore and even my shirt touching them hurts. And don't be mad at me if I fart when you're touching my butt. I can't help it and it's your fault for being in the danger zone. But telling me I'm not sexy when I feel my worst, and I constantly feel fat and bloated and ugly and tired, being told I'm not sexy is pretty much the last thing I needed to hear. I don't know what his problem is lately but he's been pretty rude to me and it's making me feel bad.

malamutemommy · August 2013

HollisW12 said:
That does sound super upsetting. Have you tried telling him how you are feeling?

Yeah I have previously but it doesn't really do any good. I know it's probably from him being stressed out about the move and the baby and getting everything ready but taking his stress out on me is definitely not the answer. If it doesn't get better soon, and doesn't listen to my feelings about it I'm going to suggest we talk to someone. That might help.

2010weddinggal · August 2013

throw a towel and some lotion at him and tell him, you hope his hand is sexy for him.... walk away

malamutemommy · August 2013

2010weddinggal said:
throw a towel and some lotion at him and tell him, you hope his hand is sexy for him.... walk away

No lotion for him. He can have the towel but I'm not sharing my lotion with him now. My lotion probably isn't sexy enough for him anyways!

notthecheat · August 2013

Guys can really be thick sometimes. Well OK, a lot. Sounds like a typical comment from a frustrated SO who can't seem to grasp that this pregnancy thing might be affecting YOUR life too. *rolls eyes* I wish there was a way to knock some sense in them sometimes. Sorry he was being an ass to you

natleilynn · August 2013

Boys are mean sometimes. Just throw rocks at them.

mightymousy · August 2013

Aww hunny

I'm sorry he said that to you *hugs*

Aycul18 · August 2013

Sorry :-/ they can be insensitive jerks sometimes.

m88bloom · August 2013

That sucks! I feel ya though. I used to think I had the best man a woman could have during a pregnancy sweet, understanding, calm, and loved to spoil me. That went out the window a couple of months ago. I think he's done being supportive 24/7 and needs a little support. I get that but geez don't take it out on me a**hole!

cammyisagirlsname · August 2013

I'm sorry

I think some husbands just feel "forgotten about" during our pregnancies. Hugs!

insertclevername · August 2013

lrachelle80 said:

Yeah, until men can be pregnant they won't understand the daily aches and pains and general irritating-ness that is pregnancy (even if you love being pregnant). They don't get it.

I recommend getting one of those weighted pregnancy vests and make him wear it all day.

Whenever my husband starts getting cranky about how things change when I am pregnant, I tell him that he is welcome to carry this baby and since he cannot he is welcome to strap a 15lb. bag of sand to his belly and walk around all day.

OP, I am sorry that your SO is being insensitive. Pregnancy can be a difficult time and a good number of men don't understand how to appropriately cope with the changes.

KelseyKetchum · August 2013

My bf has the same issues some days. He hasn't dared say I'm not sexy but he has shown it. I complained that just because I'm pregnant and gassy he still has to be sweet to me. We talked it out and it helped a lot. I wish you the best of luck

malamutemommy · August 2013

Haha thanks guys. I know he's just frustrated, but it's a bummer when he lets it get the better of him and kind of just lets loose on me. He's normally super sweet and all that so it's definitely out of character for him. I'm just going to go with he's stressed about everything and probably feeling neglected, but sorry. I try my best to not neglect but it's hard when you're repulsed by the simple thought of sex or touch right now haha. I feel bad for him but hey look at the bright side. Only about 3 months left!

KFED103 · August 2013

It's hard for them to get used to the changes we go through. It's probably good he lets you know how he is feeling. Unless he said it in a total douche like manner...which it doesn't sound like. Just listen and don't get offended. Do your best to explain how you feel too.

Ktrue85 · August 2013

I'm sorry to play devils advocate here, and I definitely think he needs to pretty much deal with it, but has it been a long time since you guys were intimate at all? Men are, for the most part, sexual beings. I know it's hard to get all hussied up when you feel bloated and nasty, but is it possible you could do a little sexy nightie for him one night? I definitely am not saying you should HAVE to, especially all the time. and I probably deserve some flaming for this comment, but I am a firm believer in putting in a little effort to keep your partner satisfied. Remember, he is adjusting to your new body, too, and it may be difficult for him to see some of us slack on trying to look "sexy" as much as we used to. I do men no offense, just trying to see both sides I suppose.

MamaHanna · August 2013

My husband had the same beef but when he explained it he made more sense. He said he was use to me always getting dressed up, wearing heals, putting on lingerie and things like that but since I got pregnant I wasn't doing that anymore. It wasn't that he didn't think I was physically attractive anymore it was more of a "presentation" kind of thing. Maybe that is his issue?

SoMoNY · August 2013

Tell him pregnancy is like a man-cold but times 1,000

KELLILOVESJOSH · August 2013

I'm sorry but I would probably just tell him to STFU. But I'm in a mood today and that's probably not the most rational thing to say in any situation

tell him you want to make him feel wanted but you feel like you need a little pampering to feel sexy for him. Spa Day, Massage, pedicure, shoe shopping, maybe a new hair cut? That'll shut him up.

AGriffin620 · August 2013

Ouch. =(( Sorry he made you feel so lousy.

esf60 · August 2013

Sorry lady, I'd be so upset bu a comment like that too. Try having a candid convo with him, and explain to him how you're feeling. Maybe he doesn't know!

Anyway, I bet you're gorgeous and glowing

northport6 · August 2013

::HUGS::

malamutemommy · August 2013

@MammaHanna I've never really been one to wear heels or wear lingerie so he can't miss what never really happened pre-pregnancy lol. But I know what you mean.

@Ktrue85 He's definitely not neglected at all. We've been intimate frequently so he's not lacking in that department. I think he was just reading these "dad-to-be" books and is under the impression that every woman becomes insatiable for sex when they're pregnant, and since I've not been that way he's probably just disappointed. And since I've not been in the mood really, he also needs to put forth some effort in trying to get me in the mood. Saying "want to do it?" doesn't really cut it. I get where you're coming from and I agree he needs attention and I need to put in an effort, which I do. I do my hair and makeup every day and dress nice and don't neglect him sexually so I put forth effort, I just think he was expecting me to be constantly in the mood while pregnant.

edenkeever · August 2013

Whenever DH acts like that, says stuff even bordering on that, I tell him I'm sorry, pregnancy is temporary and he's stuck with me anyway. Thankfully those times I could count on one hand after three babies, and they were all because he was stressed or tired. He's some sort of weirdo who thinks a big pregnant body is the sexiest thing ever.

Marchmellow2 · August 2013

Ouch!! What an ass! Sorry he said that. It's probably not true, he's probably just upset about something else.

weeSpud · August 2013

Yes I agree men can act like children some time say anything to try and get ur attention I'm sure he didnt think b4 he spoke don't dwell on it honey hugs xx

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