AP friendly doc

eroplane · August 2013

Long story short I didn't interview pediatricians. I found one after LO was born and have been happy with her till now. She did try and push formula a bit at his first visit but besides that ok. I breast feed on demand, baby wear and bed share.

She questioned bed sharing and suggested Dr Ferber's method for sleep training. I told her I wasn't interested in having my 4 month old CIO. She then gave my husband a book list that included CIO and Babywise. I asked about BLW also and she looked at me like I had 3 heads.

Question is: how important is it to have the pediatrician on board with AP?

I'm debating on whether if not to find a new one or stay.

Emerald27 · August 2013

Babywise is even condemned by the AAP! I'm surprised your pedi would recommend it.

It wasn't too important to me to have an AP doctor, but it was important to me to have a doctor who wouldn't pressure me about my parenting decisions, or even really inquire into them. My doctor thinks that where my baby sleeps is none of her business, which I really like.

I am very lucky that there is a doctor in our practice who used to be a LLL Leader and who knows A LOT about breastfeeding. Too many pediatricians know so little about breastfeeding and the growth of a breastfed baby. You might want to check that the growth charts your pediatrician uses are the WHO ones.

Anyway, all that is to say that it's entirely up to you and in regards to what you're comfortable with. If it's important to you that you find a doctor that you can openly discuss all aspects of your child's life and growth with, then I'd seek an AP supportive doc. If not, then I'd just go about my business, avoiding controversial topics, and just use your doctor for medical advice.

ETA: If my pedi continually pressured us to sleep train or didn't demonstrate any knowledge of BLW, and if she recommended formula feeding for a perfectly happy and healthy breastfeeding kid, I might be inclined to run for the hills.

pixieprincss · August 2013

As long as it isn't a hostile relationship I don't think it matters. The rare times we go to the doctor, it is for medical reasons, not parenting reasons. (I consider feeding method, breastfeeding duration, and sleep to be parenting choices, in the absence of an acute medical issue.) We have a strict HMO and we have a family practice doctor that we like well enough, personality wise. He knows me well enough now to go with our flow. Family practice docs tend to be chiller. That said, we also pay OOP to see a holistic doc (pediatrician who turned homeopath) when the mainstream doc doesn't have any ideas but drugs to help us. Even with her, we don't discuss parenting matters. Many people around us have different parenting views than we do, one more opinion in the pot doesn't phase me.

musicalmama5 · August 2013

I have a feeling I might be rethinking our pedi at some point in the future too. She's super nice and I really like her personally, so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt though.

Red flags: the nurses always look surprised when I tell them he's still EBF, she freaked me out by saying LO will need surgery if his sunken chest hasn't corrected itself by 12 months.

That said, I think it's good to remember that a pedi is there to assess and assist with your child's HEALTH. Unless one of your parenting choices is affecting your child's health, there's no reason for the pedi to give his/her two cents about bedsharing, babywearing, or any other AP practices. And there's no reason for you to bring it up either... Usually when I talk to people who I don't think will know what BLW is, I just say something like, "we're going to just let him eat what we eat". Using the term "BLW" might make it seem like some weirdo thing that you're trying out.

opheliainwaders · August 2013

I would probably look for a new pedi due to the baby wise thing. It means she hasn't read the latest statements from the AAP, which is troubling to me.

I'd also want a pedi who was up to date on research re: CIO and such, but I recognize that technically wouldn't be within her scope of practice.

I lucked out and found a pedi with IBCLCs in her cell phone and who gave me tips for safe bed sharing, but I recognize that's rare, and it wouldn't be a deal breaker to me if she wasn't as AP friendly as she is.

eroplane · August 2013

Thanks for all the advice guys!! As long as she continues to care for lo's health competently , we'll stay. My only worry is that she brought it up and didn't let it go. Hmmm decisions decisions.

kcisthebombdotcom · August 2013

eroplane said:

Thanks for all the advice guys!! As long as she continues to care for lo's health competently , we'll stay. My only worry is that she brought it up and didn't let it go. Hmmm decisions decisions.

If she keeps pushing I would say "I appreciate the advice but what I'm doing is working well for my child and family" and change the subject to more medical related things. Fwiw, my pedi was like this. She's very pro Ferber, very anti bed sharing and was not supportive/helpful with bf. she is socially awkward and i dont feel like i connect with her. I really considered switching. Then my dd came down with some medical issues and she has been absolutely amazing. She will personally call specialists (not just her receptionist) on DDs behalf to get her appointments quicker. Even if its things she might not agree with, she says she trusts my mom gut since i see her a lot more than she gets to and gives me whatever Referral i think dd needs. She has given me her personal cell number so if something happens off hours I can contact her right away. She goes way above and beyond and I am very glad I was just too lazy to switch when my children were younger. Lol. If you trust her medical advice that is the only thing that matters.

mb314 · August 2013

I think having a pedi who is supportive of breastfeeding is extremely important. But other than that, I don't think how you parent is the realm of the pediatrician. They should be there for medical, not parenting advice. I think if the doctor becomes too pushy on parenting issues, I would consider changing. Otherwise, I would just ignore his/her parenting advice and take their medical advice.

PipSqueak0313 · August 2013

We didnt interview pedis either. Ds2's pedi is the pedi that happned to be on call when he was readmitted to the hospital at 4 days old. He acknowledged that not listening to parents was the "kiss of death" to a pedi's private practice when I was talking to him about my experiences with the military pedis when ds1 was little. We liked his knowledge and bedside manner enough that we kept him as ds2's pedi. When I went in and said I think ds was not tolerating milk so I switched his formula his only response was if you are going to do that then you need to eliminate it from your diet to if you plan to continue to try breastfeeding. He has never asked how LO was sleeping.....but he did ask if I was getting enough sleep. He didnt say we had to start solids at 4 months only that it was ok to start cereals and purees if we chose to. I cloth diaper and obviously he doesnt get many in cloth since he looked at it and laughed after his atempt at closing it back up after examining ds.

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