I had to be in early this morning, and I have to stay late tomorrow. DD1 was super clingy last night and this morning - really out of character for her. We had to have a 'stranger danger' talk yesterday after someone in a store showed a little too much interest in her and DD2. I think we did it wrong and scared her. I thought we were pretty careful...
I had an early start to my day due to a meeting that was scheduled to start at 7am. I got there and no one was there. Called my colleague who scheduled the meeting and he told me it was tomorrow. The email sent Thursday definitely said Monday, but he doesn't want to own up to forgetting to let me know of the change.
Normally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but it means two early mornings in a row and a delay to an overnight trip I need to make for work this week, basically screwing up my entire schedule for the week.
I also have so much work to get done and so many personal errands and items to check off my To-Do list before we leave on vacation in a 10days, and all DH thinks needs to be done is to pack. Why is it men don't think of all the other things, like paying the bills, giving the dog a bath before we drop her off at his parents, making sure the refrigerators are mostly empty, that the yard is cut, making sure the mail gets picked up or held at the post office, that the trash is taken out etc...
DD is having allergies and something was bothering her last night - I don't know what but some kind of pain - and it took the newborn treatment (blaring white noise and more than one bath with mama) to calm her down and get her back to sleep
On the bright side, we had a little weekend family trip and no major arguments! It was actually really nice.
@mae0111-I believe there are books on 'stranger danger'. It may be a different approach and offer comfort to your DD.
Thank you! I did some research on the train today, and it looks like we did much of what was recommended. I don't know why she got so scared. I'm going to look into a few books.
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
This makes me sad. Not that this is any of my business, but since you put it out there, I will comment. It seems like your SO is a "significant jerk" or "significant-ly selfish" more than anything else. You shouldn't be at anyone's mercy when that person is supposed to love you. Wishing you much more than crackers and ketchup...
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
I don't even know where to start here. Your SO is an @$$hole. If he's going to act like this, then ask him to reimburse you for his portion of the vacation. And tell him he can't drive your car if he's not going to fill it up. Christ, that's just common courtesy.
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
This makes me sad. Not that this is any of my business, but since you put it out there, I will comment. It seems like your SO is a "significant jerk" or "significant-ly selfish" more than anything else. You shouldn't be at anyone's mercy when that person is supposed to love you. Wishing you much more than crackers and ketchup...
Yes, he is both. I thought about how I would treat him if the roles were reversed and there is no way that I would make him feel that way if he was seriously hard up for financial help. I HATE asking him because I know his response. I'm responsible for not managing my funds better and have definitely learned my lesson. I can't imagine how he'd be if I were a SAHM.
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
If he wants to play like that, I would send him an invoice for 1/2 of the vacation costs. That's an awful way to feel!
DH took the trash out this morning but he never puts a new bag in the garbage can...usually not a big deal because I just quick do it. But this morning I was running around, trying to get ready and DD ready (she got up earlier than usual) and went to throw something away not really looking so it went straight into the can. I thought about leaving it for him to clean up when he gets home for work but then remembered our cleaning service comes today and didn't want them to think we're pigs!
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
If he wants to play like that, I would send him an invoice for 1/2 of the vacation costs. That's an awful way to feel!
Then we get into the "who pays for what" war. He covers the mortgage and some of the utilities. He doesn't realize that I cover ALL the insurance on everything, that I had to pay $1400 for a new used vehicle tag that he was adamant that I purchase because my other car "sucked". I cover all the food expense, daycare, $80+/week on gas, trash, cable, internet, ALL of DSs expenses, any of our entertainment costs. He thinks that since he pays for the mortgage, then he is contributing above and beyond. Ugh, it's just ridiculous and yes, it sucks being with him on most days...hence, my monday morning vent.
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
If he wants to play like that, I would send him an invoice for 1/2 of the vacation costs. That's an awful way to feel!
Then we get into the "who pays for what" war. He covers the mortgage and some of the utilities. He doesn't realize that I cover ALL the insurance on everything, that I had to pay $1400 for a new used vehicle tag that he was adamant that I purchase because my other car "sucked". I cover all the food expense, daycare, $80+/week on gas, trash, cable, internet, ALL of DSs expenses, any of our entertainment costs. He thinks that since he pays for the mortgage, then he is contributing above and beyond. Ugh, it's just ridiculous and yes, it sucks being with him on most days...hence, my monday morning vent.
Oh no! I'm really sorry to hear that. Would a detailed budget and spreadsheet help you have a conversation about it or just make things worse? I hope this isn't offensive, but if things are that bad with you two it is a good idea to protect your own financial stability, build up some savings and good credit just in case you need to start over on your own.
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
If he wants to play like that, I would send him an invoice for 1/2 of the vacation costs. That's an awful way to feel!
Then we get into the "who pays for what" war. He covers the mortgage and some of the utilities. He doesn't realize that I cover ALL the insurance on everything, that I had to pay $1400 for a new used vehicle tag that he was adamant that I purchase because my other car "sucked". I cover all the food expense, daycare, $80+/week on gas, trash, cable, internet, ALL of DSs expenses, any of our entertainment costs. He thinks that since he pays for the mortgage, then he is contributing above and beyond. Ugh, it's just ridiculous and yes, it sucks being with him on most days...hence, my monday morning vent.
Oh no! I'm really sorry to hear that. Would a detailed budget and spreadsheet help you have a conversation about it or just make things worse? I hope this isn't offensive, but if things are that bad with you two it is a good idea to protect your own financial stability, build up some savings and good credit just in case you need to start over on your own.
That is exaclty what I'm doing. I'm typically VERY good with finances and have great credit. I just paid for the vacation and new floors in our house, plus the car tag completely set me back and I didn't plan for it like I should have. I'm going to find an online budget worksheet that I can copy and work from to make sure that I dig myself out of the whole and start putting $ in instead of out. I loathe having to rely on someone (especially one that makes you feel guilty or worthless for doing so).
Then we get into the "who pays for what" war. He covers the mortgage and some of the utilities. He doesn't realize that I cover ALL the insurance on everything, that I had to pay $1400 for a new used vehicle tag that he was adamant that I purchase because my other car "sucked". I cover all the food expense, daycare, $80+/week on gas, trash, cable, internet, ALL of DSs expenses, any of our entertainment costs. He thinks that since he pays for the mortgage, then he is contributing above and beyond. Ugh, it's just ridiculous and yes, it sucks being with him on most days...hence, my monday morning vent.
Oh no! I'm really sorry to hear that. Would a detailed budget and spreadsheet help you have a conversation about it or just make things worse? I hope this isn't offensive, but if things are that bad with you two it is a good idea to protect your own financial stability, build up some savings and good credit just in case you need to start over on your own.
That is exaclty what I'm doing. I'm typically VERY good with finances and have great credit. I just paid for the vacation and new floors in our house, plus the car tag completely set me back and I didn't plan for it like I should have. I'm going to find an online budget worksheet that I can copy and work from to make sure that I dig myself out of the whole and start putting $ in instead of out. I loathe having to rely on someone (especially one that makes you feel guilty or worthless for doing so).
Such a tough situation and I feel so bad for you. I think like PP said its good to keep saving and build up a cushion...once you do, sounds like you need to make a change and start over on your own or with someone else who recognizes your worth! (no pun intended there!)
I have footed the bill for our vacation over Labor Day, which has left me completely BROKE. I don't get paid until Friday, which leaves me at the mercy of SO for gas money and lunch money this week. He makes me feel very guilty for asking for money (which are necessities). He drives my SUV everywhere, leaving me with no gas to commute to DSs daycare and work. Yet, when I ask for money to get gas, he says "I'm not made out of money". He put $20 in it Saturday and I'm already on E. This weekend can not come soon enough Guess I'll be eating crackers and ketchup packets the rest of the week.
I didn't want to quote all of your other comments but can I ask.....why the hell are you with him if it sucks being with him most days?! He must have some other great qualities right?! Some of the things you've said the he does sounds really shitty and I would hate being treated that way
I don't exactly (obviously) have the funds for an attorney. We are not married and he will not part ways with DS willingly. It would be ugly and drawn out. Do I put up with his crap so that I don't have to share weekends or do go ahead and proceed with the inevitable? He's a bully, void of any kind of respect or consideration for me. Never once told me that I'm pretty or the like. Bought me flowers ONCE because I birthed DS. Almost 5 years together. His family thinks he hung the moon and is God's gift to "real men". Pfftt. I could go on all day. Sorry to have hijacked this post with my lousy vent.
What is it with people (such as my old school aunt) asking me when I'm going to start giving LO formula. WTF, seriously? She thinks bc he is BF that he's not getting enough and he eats too often so he's hungry more often. She then mentioned giving him cereal, he's 3m old. Leave him alone! I just think that some ppl are bothered by a nursing mom.
Then she told me how my grand other used to make formula with corn syrup & milk(or whatever it was)--she said "that's what I drank and I'm fine" (very questionable) and that's what her kids ate and their fine. It's my choice, and I don't want to hear your 2cents anymore ---feeling annoyed!
It sounds like you are in a verbally abusive relationship or maybe we just caught you on a bad day. Vent away-that's what this thread is for. If you're truly unhappy, may I suggest therapy? Couples to work out your issues or even individual therapy to sort out your feelings. Tap into resources-your insurance may provide a great ERP solution and free legal aide to answer questions (you don't have to act upon it). You're not alone. Custody issues is normal and remember there is always mandatory child support. I hope your vacation is enjoyable.
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LoCarb
member
Re: Monday Morning Vents
My vents -
Stress effects my sleep. Therefore, I only rec'd a cpl hours of sleep and no REM sleep last night.
I can't believe I'm saying this but my social life is so busy I need to slow down.
XH is irritating me with the schedule changes.
Oh and I have a YI. Ugh.
I had an early start to my day due to a meeting that was scheduled to start at 7am. I got there and no one was there. Called my colleague who scheduled the meeting and he told me it was tomorrow. The email sent Thursday definitely said Monday, but he doesn't want to own up to forgetting to let me know of the change.
Normally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but it means two early mornings in a row and a delay to an overnight trip I need to make for work this week, basically screwing up my entire schedule for the week.
I also have so much work to get done and so many personal errands and items to check off my To-Do list before we leave on vacation in a 10days, and all DH thinks needs to be done is to pack. Why is it men don't think of all the other things, like paying the bills, giving the dog a bath before we drop her off at his parents, making sure the refrigerators are mostly empty, that the yard is cut, making sure the mail gets picked up or held at the post office, that the trash is taken out etc...
Thanks again, and I hope you feel better soon!
This makes me sad. Not that this is any of my business, but since you put it out there, I will comment. It seems like your SO is a "significant jerk" or "significant-ly selfish" more than anything else. You shouldn't be at anyone's mercy when that person is supposed to love you. Wishing you much more than crackers and ketchup...
If he wants to play like that, I would send him an invoice for 1/2 of the vacation costs. That's an awful way to feel!
___________________________________________________________________________
Trying for #1 since May 2010 l DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011
IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks
November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!
Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26
1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12
**TEAM GREEN!**
Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12
Trying for #2
FET #1 - October '13 - c/p l FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled
l FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN
~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~
Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14
**TEAM GREEN!**
Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14
DH took the trash out this morning but he never puts a new bag in the garbage can...usually not a big deal because I just quick do it. But this morning I was running around, trying to get ready and DD ready (she got up earlier than usual) and went to throw something away not really looking so it went straight into the can. I thought about leaving it for him to clean up when he gets home for work but then remembered our cleaning service comes today and didn't want them to think we're pigs!
DD1 5.26.12 - Femara, Gonal F and IUI
DD2 10.18.14 - IVF
What is it with people (such as my old school aunt) asking me when I'm going to start giving LO formula. WTF, seriously? She thinks bc he is BF that he's not getting enough and he eats too often so he's hungry more often. She then mentioned giving him cereal, he's 3m old. Leave him alone! I just think that some ppl are bothered by a nursing mom.
Then she told me how my grand other used to make formula with corn syrup & milk(or whatever it was)--she said "that's what I drank and I'm fine" (very questionable) and that's what her kids ate and their fine. It's my choice, and I don't want to hear your 2cents anymore ---feeling annoyed!
I truly hope you get the courage and support you need to leave his sorry ass
It sounds like you are in a verbally abusive relationship or maybe we just caught you on a bad day. Vent away-that's what this thread is for. If you're truly unhappy, may I suggest therapy? Couples to work out your issues or even individual therapy to sort out your feelings. Tap into resources-your insurance may provide a great ERP solution and free legal aide to answer questions (you don't have to act upon it). You're not alone. Custody issues is normal and remember there is always mandatory child support. I hope your vacation is enjoyable.
Yeah me too. This situation is ridiculous. He doesn't deserve you. And I hate to post that b/c everyone's relationship is different, but wow.