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bd wants me to move in

flieswithdragonsflieswithdragons member
in Single Parents
my bd and his mother want me to move in with them so that his mom can 'get to know' me before the baby gets here and so she can 'help' me take care of the baby. i don't want to move in with them as their home is full of smoke and they are all heavy smokers. I don't want the baby around them really at all, let alone live with them. It would save me a lot of money to move in with them, which I could save up for the baby's future, but I just don't know if it's right to risk our health for our future.... it's so hard to know what to do.
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Re: bd wants me to move in

  • CoIvieCoIvie member
    Move in so she can get to know you? Why can't she just sit down & have talks with you if she wants to get to know you..

    And it's def not worth the health risk if they're heavy smokers. Yuck.

    If you don't really want them around, don't really want to move in with them and know you and your baby's health is at risk, how don't you know what to do? You already don't want to do it
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  • momof2buggsmomof2buggs member
    Ummm how about coffee or lunch dates or her coming to your NON-smoke filled home and getting to know you that way? It sounds more like she wants to keep tabs on you, honestly. I tend to be a skeptical person though, so that's just my thought. Doesn't mean that's what she is actually doing. The biggest red flag here is that bd still lives with his mom. Does that concern you at all? It would me. I wouldn't worry about saving up money, over putting your and your baby's health at risk. Besides, do you think you will save that much? Of course if you're planning on staying there rent free, maybe you would save some, but that is unlikely to happen. As far as the smoking issue, what will you do once baby is born? I can tell you the crap will hit the fan if you start asking everyone to smoke outside. Overall, it sounds like a wreck already. I would stay put, if I were you. Once baby's born, you will know exactly what I'm talking about.



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  • tig594tig594 member
    Agree with previous posters. Stay put. Keep your baby away from the smokers and don't let them gain any kind of control by moving in. When you figure out how miserable you are there will you be able to get the heck out as fast as you'll want to?
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  • bullybuttbullybutt member
    Stay, stay, stay!  If BD is already living with his parents, shouldn't HE be the one that is saving money? Since he isn't having to foot the bills on anything, he should be able to provide all the necessities and what-not for the baby.  Like PPs said, if they want to get to know you, they can take you to dinner or maybe come along for an ultrasound or something.  You will regret being tied down to their home and at the mercy of their "hospitality".  Keep your freedom!

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  • babymama619babymama619 member
    Absolutely not. Sounds like a move to control you. Not only is smoke unhealthy for the baby, but also you! Everything you breath right now do does LO!! You say you don't want to move in there then don't.

    If you're looking to save money, maybe look at other roommate situations? I agree with everyone else, there are plenty if ways to get to know you without living with you. Also, just for the record, you are not yourself right now. If someone met me only after I became pregnant they'd have a totally different view of me than anyone who knew me before. Saving money is not worth loosing your sanity.

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