Feeling like a b*tch

kjmitlyng · August 2013

Some of you know a little about my current story. Went off birth control in April 2012 and really started TTC in July of 2012. At the end of November of 2012 my husband says he's decided he's not ready for a baby and no longer wants to try. It has been seriously difficult on our marriage, we've been going to counseling. Just all around has been a pretty sh*tty few months. I've been so depressed and alone, etc. Well, yesterday I get a call from a friend of mine who is a little older than me (38) and I believe her husband is 41, they have been married for close to 4 years and he never really wanted to have children and she was OK with that. Well, yesterday she calls and tells me she's pregnant. I can't even tell you how hard that hit me. She is literally my only friend that didn't have children. So of course I am happy for her and told her so, she's a dear friend. Then I get off the phone and immediately start crying and basically yell at my husband because he's forcing this choice on me right now. Then I feel like crap because about 12 years ago this same friend got pregnant and placed the baby for adoption because she was in school at the time and just could not afford a child. So I should be totally happy that she has a chance to mother this child and all I can do is cry about it. I am the worst friend. But I know some of you understand where I'm coming from.

*sparky* · August 2013

You are not the worst friend. It sounded like you kept it together on the phone and got upset afterward, which is better than a lot of people in your shoes could have handled that news. It is completely understandable that you are upset, but that does not at all make you a bad friend. I am so sorry you are going through this.

HeathernSteven · August 2013

You are not a bad friend, its normal to have feelings when someone else shares their good news, we have all been there in some way or another. YOu will be there for her, if she is a good friend she will be respectful of how much you can hear about her pregnancy but at the same time you have to be a good friend and let her be excited. It's tough, I hope you are able to get everything you want!!

hooligans4 · August 2013

You are a good friend for supporting her. My heart goes out to you. My husband just told me he doesn't want to try anymore so I understand.
Your feelings are valid and you have every right to be happy but also upset.

I hope your husband changes his mind. I asked my husband for three more months and he agreed. You are in counseling so I hope that helps you get through all of this.

My thoughts are with you

BeckyP005 · August 2013

Sending you lots of squishy hugs. This post brings back sad memories. You are not a bad friend and it IS ok to be upset. You were very supportive to her but I'm sure it stung that children were not really in the cards for them and here they are pg.

I sent an email to my very good friend when she got pg explaining to her that while I am so very happy for her I needed some time to deal with my own behaviors. It did a world of good and I am so happy she understood. Take care of yourself and we are here for you...

BeckyP005 · August 2013

hooligans4 said:

You are a good friend for supporting her. My heart goes out to you. My husband just told me he doesn't want to try anymore so I understand. Your feelings are valid and you have every right to be happy but also upset. I hope your husband changes his mind. I asked my husband for three more months and he agreed. You are in counseling so I hope that helps you get through all of this. My thoughts are with you

I'm sorry

MarylandWed · August 2013

I would have reacted the same! It's so hard when it's something you want so much. You're a good friend to have swallowed your feelings and let them out after the phone call. Hugs!

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