Loss Check In

Mrs Nice · August 2013

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angle(s)?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

angelsnight · August 2013

ticker warning

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Nope, no conscious ones anyway

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I'm still trying to get to my fundraising goal for the walk we're doing next month. We're trying to raise money to help other families with funeral assistance for their angels.

QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angle(s)? Finding out she was a girl, watching her suck her thumb on the ultrasound, seeing and feeling her kicks, and just staring at her face while we were holding her. She had my nose, lips, and chin and I just could not get over it. To see my features on my angel....it was just amazing.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I think about where we would be right now had she survived. She should be about 2-3 weeks old right now. I wish she were here.

bunnybun4 · August 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? this has been a harder week than normal...been having a lot of low moments and just missing my daughter.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself?DH and I voluntarily benched ourselves for one more cycle...AF is due in a week so then we will be back on the TTC wagon. Right now I am just trying to get off as much weight as I can (I am officially the same size as I was as before I got pregnant!!! now to lose a little more!) and also just trying to get into some healthy headspace of not expecting the worst and just trusting that everything will eventually work out.
Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?a lot of prayer, a lot of meditation...as I said earlier this week has been a harder one and I asked God specifically for signs and I have seen at least 5 bunnies this week outside of my neighborhood and several very pink sunsets. Both things are my link to Bunny.
QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angel(s)? I love that I got to feel her move so early...I will never forget those flutters. I love that the Dr.'s went on and on about the length of her femurs (she had her daddy's longgggg legs). I love thinking back to the moments where I just rubbed my belly and loved on her.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?definitely jittery about TTCing again...trying to be calm and not terrified of another loss. Also, my twin nephews are being baptized next weekend (they are a month older than Bunny)...I really think I am in a good place to go but it is just still really hard. I have a hard time separating everyone's excitement for the twins from them "not" being devastated about my daughter who is not here. I know they are still devastated but it is hard to see that when I am in the moment. I am also so over everyone talking about how tired and busy she must be with a 2 year old and new twins. I know it must be hard but seriously...it makes my skin curl.

BrittianyM · August 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Not really, nothing new.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Just still taking it one day at a time.

QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angle(s)?
Brooke has such an infectious smile! Couldn't help but fall in love with her when she smiled. I also really enjoyed our snuggle time right after nursing her. She would fall asleep just hugging and snuggle up to my boob. Never thought that would be something I would enjoy but it was an amazing time that I am the only one that got to share those moments with her.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Two of my co-workers are having babies today and it is causing me to hurt missing my daughter that much more. Also, still waiting for Brooke's brick to be installed in the new children's park in Keller.

JessicaG220 · August 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not really. I feel like I've taken a step back. All of my friends have kids and as I get farther from my loss, it gets harder to justify to them that seeing their babies still hurts.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? No new goals, really. We are TTC, but I don't really consider that a personal goal. I guess I am trying to embrace my new job and accept that it's not perfect.

QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angle(s)?

There are so many! Telling our parents, reading Where is Love, Biscuit? to her (ugh I am teary-eyed typing that), standing in her nursery before our house was finished being built, her incessant kicking one day at my desk at work (greatest moment EVER!), finding out she was a girl and then afterward both getting pink straws at our favorite restaurant, getting to usd our FAVORITE name in the world, Ava...

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'd like to be pregnant this cycle. I am really ready to get excited about Ava's brother or sister. I NEED this to look forward to.

Prayers, thoughts and hugs to all, ladies

amandager99 · August 2013

I've really started to make better choices about what I'm eating. It's not like I've been eating horrible food all the time, but I've struggled with portion control and too much sugar.

My next goal is having something to do with my time. This week I enrolled to go back to school and will start in two weeks.

My best memory is the one time I felt him move, it was on Mother's Day. It was a little early, but it was a very distinct roll, nothing else it could have been

DH and I are TTC again. Last week was my first true pp period. Would love to be pregnant this cycle. Concerned about some possible bleeding that seems to have started today though. Will see if it goes away before calling doctor.

shandorfml2 · August 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Had a therapy appointment and that's always good.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Continue to be healthy, make it through the 6 month mark on the 2nd. I can't believe it...

QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angle(s)? Her cute little nose, her chubby cheeks, her soft skin, her kicking when Daddy read to her, her dancing to music

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Missing her a lot this week. I do not want to be a loss mama. I want my baby.

Dixon813 · August 2013

~~~ Pregnancy Mentioned~~~

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I went back to work - I think that's healing. I was planning to go to group counseling, but chickened out, mostly because I was overwhelmed with work and DH traveling for the first time...
I also posted a Carly Marie picture on Monday - Day of Hope. The first public (facebook) acknowledgement I've made...
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Continue talking about Leah, Rachel and Gabriel and letting other people know that it's ok for them to talk about them, too.
QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angle(s)? All the U/S held special moments, but I loved when they started kicking or punching back when I or DH would push them. It was also very special to watch them interact with EACH OTHER on U/S!
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I found out this week that we are pregnant with our rainbow. I'm happy and excited, I'm nervous and scared and guilty for being happy...

Dixon813 · August 2013

Thanks, @mrsgerman - I'm still in shock!

Bayberry12 · August 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
No new steps really, although we did attend a family wedding recently and that was the first time we had seen any of those people since our loss. I have been feeling pretty sad lately, wishing my baby was here. I went into her untouched nursery and just let my emotions out, I also opened the memory box the hospital gave us for the first time. I have always been afraid to look in it. I was so overcome, it had a hospital birth certificate with foot prints, her hospital bracelet, a lock of her hair, some other papers, and photos in a sealed envelope. I still haven't been able to open it. I am so thankful I have these mementos, for the longest time I thought I didn't have anything!

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Still trying to loose weight, it has been extremely hard for me to see any progress and it's very discouraging. I also need to start working on fixing up our bathroom, now that the weather is cooler.

QOTW: What are some of your best memories of your Angle(s)?
Feeling those little wiggles, it was the best! I was like I had a little secret no one else knew about. Getting the most perfect ultrasound picture of her little silhouette was really great too.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

One of my IRL loss mom friends is having her rainbow next week. I have been thinking about her and her family a lot, and just hoping everything goes well.

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