Any Working Moms of 2u2?

starsinger17 · August 2013

DH and I are trying to decide for sure if we want to TTC #2. We want our kids close together but I really want to start my career and we are both really nervous about paying for two kids in daycare, pumping, and putting Baby #2 in daycare at 6 weeks. Any advice you have is appreciated? We want to know what we'd be in for both the positive and the negative.

itsmevkb · August 2013

I had two under two until just a few weeks ago but I also have four kids total so it's a little different. The biggest thing I noticed between having kids two and a half years apart and 16 months apart was I didn't have as much of a little helper (my 16 month old wasn't walking yet) and the toddler was a little more jealous of the baby than my oldest two ever were of a new baby.

For daycare we use an in-home because it's quite a bit less expensive than a center would be. No matter what you choose though, unless you find someone to do it for free, it will be expensive. I look at it though as a short term expense in the grand scheme of things. My kids all will start school when they are 3 and be in all-day kindergarten when they are four so it's an expensive for about three and a half years.

As for pumping, I choose not to do that. I weaned my oldest before I returned to work after 12 weeks and with babies two, three and four I didn't breastfeed. What I was able to pump just wasn't worth it to me.

Is there a way you'd be able to take more than 6 weeks? I took a 12 week leave with each baby, but because I didn't have enough time in between them to save up enough vacation and sick time I asked my employer if I could work from home part-time during my leaves. That actually worked out really well and allowed me to be home for three months. Even if I would have had to return to work at 6 weeks that wouldn't have stopped me from having more children. Sometimes out situations aren't perfect but you find a way to make do.

Negatives? Things do get a little crazier with two and certainly more expensive. In the long run though I want my kids to grow up in a big, loving family more than I want fancy vacations or the ability to fully pay for one child to go to college. Other people feel the exact opposite, and that's fine.

ebp913 · August 2013

I have 2 under 2 and work FT. In fact I changed jobs while I was 6 months pregnant! We have a nanny and that seriously has saved us. It's AMAZING not getting the kids up and ready in the morning. Our kids like to sleep in too so it helps a lot. Most mornings, DD is just getting up and we see her for 15 mins or so before we are out the door. DS is all over the place with his wakeups so it just depends. But the nanny does breakfast and gets them dressed most days. It's certainly more expensive and I think we pay about $200 more a month that we would if we had both in daycare but it's totally worth it to us.

I am breastfeeding and will for a year at least. I don't think the number of kids you have matters for that as much. You either do it or you don't. I have my own office at work now so pumping is a lot easier this time around. DS is small and it's really important to me to breastfeed so I do it and I am vigilant about it.

We wanted our kids close together and decided that sucking it up for a couple years would be easier than having our first get a lot older and then starting all over again. Working right now is actually easy for me. It's a nice break and the kids aren't really old enough to have a ton of activities after work or anything like that. Having 2 under 2 is tough but the working full time is easy. I envision it will be a lot harder when they start things like soccer, dance, music, etc. But for now, it's going really pretty well.

EMOmamma · August 2013

It was hard. Very, very hard. Pretty much the whole year was a blur for me. From my experience I think a 2.5y gap might be better than the 18month that I had. (especially if it means you can save up and take more than 6 weeks of leave)

BFing 2u2 is hard anyway b/c the older LO is not really self sufficient enough for all the time you have to sit and nurse #2. Pumping isn't any different since you'll just be at work.

If your older LO is pretty independent and will walk on his/her own that makes a big difference, things like getting in and out of DC with 2+stuff is a handful, especially if both want/need to be carried.

As far as cost - it sucks. I would recommend setting aside an equal amount that you pay for DC for a month or two and see if living w/out it will be a problem.

StayingSecret · August 2013

I don't yet, but I will come October.

I think it's a personal decision (which anyone will tell you, of course). I've heard the transition from 1 to 2 is the hardest, but I also think that probably depends on the families and the kids and what not.

For us, it wasn't a cost issue - my salary could cover 5+ kids in daycare, but, honestly, you're going to have the costs of 2 in daycare as long as you have 2 kids under school age, so that wasn't a big factor for us.

Pumping also wasn't a factor for me since I suck at BF and used formula.

For us, the fact is that we wanted our kids close in age, weren't getting any younger and really, we'd like to have 4+ kids total, so we didn't have much a choice.

skyejo · August 2013

My girls are 23 months apart and the transition has been amazingly easy for lots of reasons. DD1 is quite the handful personality wise but DD2 is chill as can be and a great sleeper. I'm used to the pace of life already and DH is a very hands on father and husband--does dishes, preps bottles, etc.

I pump and nursed until just this past week. I was over the pump, always have been, but it really wasn't the end of the world for me to pump. The cost of two in daycare wasn't a big issue for us, I didn't want a huge age gap, and we have everything we need to support 2u2. Now that the girls play together well I feel like we're really reaping the benefits of this age gap. Good luck with whatever you decide!

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