Parenting after a Loss

Working moms...share your tips. (pangnl79)

It's almost time for me to head back to work the first week of September. I've been off since December and enjoying every minute. I'm a teacher and would typically work 7:30 to about 5. Sometimes I worked later depending on what I needed to do or how demanding /challenging my class was.

Obviously now with DS I'd like to get in and out as quickly as possible so Im looking for your tips for working efficiently at work AND at home. What sort of things do you do to help make the cooking,cleaning, etc easier?

I worry I will be really stressed out because I have somewhat of a perfectionist personality and things have been running so smoothly with me being home. DH works a pretty physically demanding job with a lot of hours so it's going to be a big adjustment for him to start having to pitch in more ( I have been doing the bulk of cleaning, cooking, and night wake ups since I've been home).

Give me your best tips or at least calm my fears lol!
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12

Re: Working moms...share your tips. (pangnl79)

  • Once you get into a routine it isn't bad. I was so overwhelmed with how it would all get done. I do cleaning on the weekend other than minor things during the week which I do after bedtime. I get up 15-30 min before she does in the morning. In that time I make a cup of coffee, feed the cats and do my makeup. I shower when she sleeps whether that be after she goes to bed or if she takes a nap when we get home. DH usually takes care of dinner. I bathe her EOD as soon as we get home unless she's asleep. In the morning I feed her and then get dressed while she plays on her mat or hangs out in her chair. Then she gets changed shortly before we leave.
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
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  • I work three days at the office and two days at home. And I will also use the list method... This is what I do:
    1. Clean in small parts at night. I do a bathroom and dusting, then vacuum and hard floors, then the upstairs stuff. Spread it our so its not overwhelming
    2. I cook ahead on the days I'm home if I can. Or I make one big meal and we do leftovers on working days. Then we don't need to cook 2-3 days a week
    3. Make lunch the night before so I can pump and get me and J out the door on time. Mornings are nuts on working days!!!
    4. Laundry is an after work event. Start it ASAP after work. Then it's in the dryer before bed. Fold in the am or after work
    5. H does night routine with J so I can get some down time and do dishes or get dinner going. It's nice to have 10-15 mins of "me" time... Even if it is tidying up
    6. Share the load! H chips in with all of the above
    7. Work at night and before LO gets up so your not stressed about it too much. And you can enjoy your home-time with LO
    8. H picks up from DC so I can go home and get settled. I do drop off so its nice we split the DC load

    Good luck! The flexibility is fabulous!

    Edit: I spread out the playmat, swing, and other baby stuff between my work areas. That way there's always something to entertain her and I don't have to move stuff around the house. She's pretty chill so I don't wear her or anything. She fends/entertains herself. I hear the wear method is great, but I can't type with a baby on my back/front lol :)

    Awesome!! What great advice, thank you!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • delino said:

    Once you get into a routine it isn't bad. I was so overwhelmed with how it would all get done. I do cleaning on the weekend other than minor things during the week which I do after bedtime. I get up 15-30 min before she does in the morning. In that time I make a cup of coffee, feed the cats and do my makeup. I shower when she sleeps whether that be after she goes to bed or if she takes a nap when we get home. DH usually takes care of dinner. I bathe her EOD as soon as we get home unless she's asleep. In the morning I feed her and then get dressed while she plays on her mat or hangs out in her chair. Then she gets changed shortly before we leave.

    Thanks! Glad to know it gets easier :)
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • I work three days at the office and two days at home. And I will also use the list method... This is what I do:
    1. Clean in small parts at night. I do a bathroom and dusting, then vacuum and hard floors, then the upstairs stuff. Spread it our so its not overwhelming
    2. I cook ahead on the days I'm home if I can. Or I make one big meal and we do leftovers on working days. Then we don't need to cook 2-3 days a week
    3. Make lunch the night before so I can pump and get me and J out the door on time. Mornings are nuts on working days!!!
    4. Laundry is an after work event. Start it ASAP after work. Then it's in the dryer before bed. Fold in the am or after work
    5. H does night routine with J so I can get some down time and do dishes or get dinner going. It's nice to have 10-15 mins of "me" time... Even if it is tidying up
    6. Share the load! H chips in with all of the above
    7. Work at night and before LO gets up so your not stressed about it too much. And you can enjoy your home-time with LO
    8. H picks up from DC so I can go home and get settled. I do drop off so its nice we split the DC load

    Good luck! The flexibility is fabulous!

    Edit: I spread out the playmat, swing, and other baby stuff between my work areas. That way there's always something to entertain her and I don't have to move stuff around the house. She's pretty chill so I don't wear her or anything. She fends/entertains herself. I hear the wear method is great, but I can't type with a baby on my back/front lol :)

    Exvellent advice, thanks for sharing!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • If you plan to pump at work, I found it easiest to clean my parts by putting them in an extra large Rubbermaid container with a lid and a dash of dish soap. Then I take it to the bathroom to fill up with hot water, shake it really good and then rinse everything out (container too). I have a spot in my office (school counselor here) where I let them dry out on a towel and I cover it with another towel. My students never pried.  I occasionally use the steam bags for that really hot water that sometimes the old plumbing couldn't give me in the sink.   I also have a note on my kitchen wall at home listing all the things I need to remember to bring to work each morning including the empty pump bottles and the freezer bag.  GL on your return to work. I went back months ago and had the summer off. I'm dreading returning on 9/3 for many reasons. 
    DS born 2009
    BFP#2 ~ 8/2/11, EDD 4/11/12, D&C 9/12/11 at 9w5d
    BFP#3 ~ 4/15/12, EDD 12/21/12 ~ DD born 12/22/12
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  • Great advice everyone! Thanks!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • Good luck! These past two weeks have been my first back, hence my absence from the board. I'm sneakily reading everyone else's advice and I'll give you a few tips of my own:

    For each month, I plan to make 4 weeks worth of freezer meals at a time. When I did it for August it took me about 5 hours to prep everything. Then I just have to crock-pot or minimally prepare it when I get home. That also makes only one big grocery shopping trip a month and weekly mini-trips for fresh ingredients, milk, lunch stuff, etc.

    I make a big crock-pot of frozen chicken breasts and spaghetti sauce on Sunday, boil some pasta, and put it in containers to eat for lunch every day. It's delicious, healthy, filling, and easy. Add a piece of fruit and a granola bar, and voila. 

    And I'm in the process of interviewing maids.
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    My Blog: One Emerald
    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
  • What everyone else said.

    1. I do one load of laundry every day. I keep a calendar in the laundry room where I write down what I washed. It keeps me on track.

    2. Do the dishes after the kids are down. Do not waste precious time with them doing dishes.

    3. You can refrigerate pump parts between uses instead of washing.

    4. Refrigerator oatmeal, mason jar salad, and freezer meals like @chlobub said.



    BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
    BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
    BFP#3 "Pineapple"  born 4/2013
    BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
  • Echo PP's that it does get easier when you have a routine.  Trying to think back to what our routine was back when I first went back to work when DS was 12 weeks, here are my tips:

    Do as much as you can the night before - I got DS's daycare bag ready the night before, poured and labeled all his BM bottles, washed and dried my pump parts and put them in my work bag so I didn't forget them, etc.  Then the morning was much smoother because I just had to get ready (shower, etc.), change DS, feed him and we could walk out the door.

    Now it's a little different in terms of time savers:

    I make DS's food on Sunday to last through Wednesday, and then on Wednesday night after work to last through Sunday.  (I'm weird about how long I'll use food so I don't cook a whole week's at a time because the thought of 6 day old leftovers grosses me out.)  So then when we get home from work, DS's food just needs to be heated.  We also have a nanny now so we don't have to really do anything the night before in terms of getting stuff ready for DS because she comes to our house, and in the morning she even gets him dressed and gives him breakfast so those are time savers.  But I know nannies aren't an option for everyone.  I do vacuuming (we have dogs) every other night, and floors (DS just recently started walking, so when he was crawling I was very anal about keeping the floors semi-clean) every Friday night.

    Honestly, I think my tips are basically just:

    1. YES, lower your standards!!! (I am a perfectionist and medicated for anxiety so this is hard but once you do it, it does make it easier)

    2. Be patient.  You will get into a routine and it will all become second nature.

    3. Do everything you can on the weekends in terms of prep'ing LO's food, cleaning, etc, understanding when you get home from work your time is limited.  Then whatever you can't do the night before (like if you are pumping for example, you can't bottle your BM the weekend before).  You want to make sure the only thing you have to do in the morning is get yourself ready, change and feed LO, and that's it.  You won't have time for much else, even when you are in a routine.

    Good luck, it does get SOOOO easy after awhile.  Second nature even.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers 
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    BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
     BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

  • Thank you everyone, your making me feel a lot better :)

    I can tell I'm nervous about the transition as I've cleaned out three closets, made 5 freezer meals, and started making lists for everything LOL.

    We already had a cleaning lady that comes every other week to do floors/dusting/ and bathrooms. I asked DH if she could start coming weekly so that should help. We will only have to do kitchen, dishes, laundry, and basic day to day cleaning.

    As far as teaching goes, it looks like I'll have some help this year for once so I'm hoping to delegate more often and to cut out all the things that are heavily time consuming with little reward.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
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