April 2013 Moms
CanukMam
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fuck inlaws
CanukMam
member
God damn them...I'm dealing with sleep deprivation, a move and in-laws who I will never get along with
I really really want to get along with them but we are just so different that I don't think we will ever understand each other. We are all horribly attached to our babies, so you guys might sympathize. I left the LO with the hubby at the new house, came back to find the in-laws had taken the baby back to the old house (its his bedtime now) where he isn't happy because he needs mama for bedtime. Not only that, but they took their car & Hubby's with them, so I have to wait for hubby to finish up his work before I can leave...then when I get back, I find them using my painfully gained pumped breast milk (reserved for mornings that someone let's me sleep in and actually get some sleep) to calm baby down.....and they don't understand why I was upset.....
I know I over reacted but I am the type of person who doesn't like to be surprised by things and taking my baby (even in good hands) and leaving me in a position where I can't leave to go to him if I want to....just set me off. I know its not entirely rational but I can't help but be really upset by this
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Re: fuck inlaws
Sure but I am not allowed to dislike anything they do, if I say anything they get offended and leave. If they want to help (and stay with us for weeks, sometimes a month) then they have to learn to take feedback. They left tonight and are staying in a hotel because I said something.
Baby on Board - My Blog
Also, as a STM my advice is to let things go. Not a single person will take care of your baby the way you do but the things they forget to do aren't the end of the world. Take some time to mention the out of the ordinary things you do (ears, cradle cap, etc) and let the rest of it go. It will make things easier in the long run.
You are NOT overreacting. This is your child and you were not in any way considered in this equation. That is disrespectful. And for them to try to invalidate you with the "we're your elders" bullshit. Um NO. That gets you a ticket straight to - getthefuckouttamyhouse. I had grandparents like this, totally self-absorbed, their way or the highway. It was always the worst when they were around and I did not have a close relationship with them. People like this don't get it, it's best to put up firm boundaries and they can just deal with themselves b/c they are not going to get any better or easier.
Sorry that happened to you.
Not sarcasm at all. I really would've freaked
Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
I totally get that mama bear thing. But they grow so, so fast, and your inlaws sound like they are trying. Cut them some slack, have a rational conversation, and dont burn bridges that you need as your son gets older.
Many of us on here that don't have that help would probably trade you in a millisecond.
I don't mind everyone else's post but yours @keado I do find offensive. Sounds like you think I am an ungrateful brat. Luckily my in-laws live over 3000km away, so I don't have to deal with them on a regular basis but nor do I receive help. We have no family near by, so I am one of those who 'doesn't have help' and what little help I am getting at the moment is not worth all the grief.
PS- Ultimately this is a big discussion between you and DH. B/c he was the main reason this actually happened. They wouldn't have been allowed to do this unless he had enabled them. So, he needs to understand why you feel the way you do and maybe the best course of action for the future.
I find that things I take for granted that DH "should" know or do, he actually does not. Part of it is that we don't think about things the same way. And it's also very hard to be objective about one's own parents and that can be quite an obstacle at times. It has required us to have many a conversation at points to make sure we are on the same page!