Rough day

calimama2007 · August 2013

My oldest very likely has ADHD, she is incredibly "active" and impulsive.

We had a really rough day.

They are all the harder because I am thinking would sending her off to school really be better for her or me or our family, etc?

I think in my heart no, that is why we decided to homeschool b/c of all of the potential benefits (e.g. girl needs her physical activity, sitting still is rare at this age for her).

But man she is really something else sometimes.

I love her to pieces, but I strongly hope that as she gets older she becomes more reasonable and less challenging every single thing I say.

wifeofadam · August 2013

My second-born is my challenging one. He's one of those kids who would probably fall through the cracks in a public school setting and have to be dosed up with Ritalin just to make it through a day. I don't know how much of it is just being a little boy, how much is his age, and how much is his personality. At least I can rule out it being his diet because he doesn't eat a lot of sugary, processed junk.

I don't think it's natural for elementary school-aged children to sit still and listen. They learn best through imaginative play and time spent in nature, both of which are the opposite of what they would be doing in formal school. I think we do our children a disservice when we say there is something wrong with them because they can't do the very unnatural things we try to make them do for the sake of learning. There really is nothing wrong with them, they are normal kids who don't want to sit still and listen. It would actually be abnormal for a small child to want to sit still all day indoors.

Our kids seem to be very similar ages. I completely feel your pain. I think sometimes the kids don't want to do school because they see younger siblings playing while they are working. That has to be hard on them, because after all, they are still little kids who just want to play.

Hang in there, mama! I find when we're having a rough day and I am getting frustrated with the kids it is best to set the work aside and let them just go outside and burn off the energy. That's the blessing with homeschooling - when the kids are acting like they have ADHD, we have the option to let them get some of that hyperactivity out of their systems

Gwyneddlesliegrace · August 2013

DD1 is that first born strong willed child. When ever I read anything about them, I think "uhm yes, they have met my child."

I find that changing things up, and having lots of outside time helps. Also, being on a schedule and giving chores helps too.

Hang in there mama! We all have those days when we feel like failures! Remember why you are doing this!

calimama2007 · August 2013

Thank you ALL! I really appreciate your positive thoughts!

@+adamwife+ that is EXACTLY how my DD is. She is 5 yrs 8 mos. I have a homeschool mom friend with a 9 year old recently diagnosed w ADHD and we compare notes regarding how her daughter was exactly the same at that age, etc. Although she did really well in our amazing Montessori preschool, it was an environment where she could choose to do almost whatever she wanted. I thus have really strong feelings that she would not do well in a typical public school setting-- especially since the average K class size in our district is 28+ kids. That number increases to 40 in 2nd grade.

She has to do a handful of worksheets, and she usually blows through them. My DH really wants the school at home scenario, which is clearly not possible. He thinks her behavior would be different if she went to typical school full time. I think it would be no different, we would just have time apart.

It's mostly hard because we can basically not ever be home, there is no sanctity, just chaos. I know it's their mix of personalities, but it is so frustrating to me when I see naturally calmer children. I know it will pass, and I am certainly not wishing their younger years away, but it is just so so hard when she has her more difficult days. Sigh.

MommaLisaSmiles · August 2013

I suggest getting a small exercise ball and low table/desk. As she sits and subconsciously uses her core muscles to balance on the ball, she will be more apt to focus on her written work.

If you desire to do a read aloud time and want her to sit still and quiet during this time, give her something to do with her hands. Play with play dough, teach her to knit, a few legos to assemble and disassemble.

Play classical music softly.

Most importantly, giver her PLENTY of time to be active.

Do what is best for her personality, whether it be breaking her written work up into chunks through out the day, or looking for her most natural down time. My nine year old son is usually through with his school work by ten am because he and I start before anyone else is even awake and the sun is even up. He has always been an early riser and it is just the best time for him to pay attention.

calimama2007 · August 2013

MommaLisaSmiles thank you for the advice, that is very helpful! I actually read that the blue poser tack is good for kids to fiddle with during school time, and I think a ball could work well too.

She actually surprised me by sitting at her "desk" of her own fruition for over an hour and a half doing school work and then "art projects" on Friday, so that was VERY surprising.

Rough day

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