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April 2014 Moms
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MIL Vent

teachingmama11teachingmama11 member
in April 2014 Moms
We have been holding off on telling my MIL & step-FIL because there is always drama with them and last time we were pregnant they told at least one family we know when we'd asked them not to. Well, the initial "telling" went ok (although it took them about an hour to notice my son's big brother shirt). Before they left, my DH reminded them that it was really important that they didn't tell anyone until we said it was ok to be made public. They insisted they would "never" do that and he calmly said, "well, you did last time." She flipped out, insisted the girl was lying, and she was going to confront her about it. (We hadn't brought it up when we were made aware of the situation before because it was already done & we figured it wasn't worth it, but we wanted to make sure she knew we were really serious about not telling the whole world yet.) We asked her not to, explaining that randomly bringing it up would basically alert this girl to the fact that we are pregnant again. (Why else would the topic of her spilling the beans on pregnancy randomly come up?) She said that once information is given you can't control what is done with it so she could confront her if she wanted. That statement really gave me a lot of confidence in her promise not to share our news. She then continued on to say that she didn't see why I wanted it to be some big secret anyway...I should "be excited and happy" (as if me not screaming it to the world the minute the pee stick shows a positive means I'm not!!) and she didn't think we should be keeping it a secret. Thanks MIL...way to bring down another happy moment!
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Re: MIL Vent

  • KatiecaveKatiecave member
    Ugh! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that :( some people just don't get it.
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  • jap618jap618 member
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this.  With our first pg we told my MIL almost before the pee stick dried.  We were with the entire family (his sister was home from Texas with her husband) and we were naive and assumed nothing bad would happen.  We were all really excited but did ask her not to say anything.  Fast forward about a month and we were with them again and she had asked me if she could tell her sisters that week (I was 8w ish) and I said I would need to talk to DH before I could give her an answer.  Then her sister showed up and she looked at me and said "CAN I TELL HER?" And obviously her sister guessed.  She had also made comments about how I shouldn't be scared because bad things can happen at 8 months too (thanks MIL) and I kindly explained that while it was early she was not to tell anyone.  She is very sensitive (and meant well) so I'm sure she felt like a HUGE JACKASS when we lost the baby.  We didn't tell them about the last one and won't tell them about this one until we are closer to 12 weeks.  ((hugs)) again I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
    Married the love of my life June 18, 2011 -- Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
    RPL Testing. DX Asherman's November 2013. Low AMH (0.44) January 2014. 
    Operative Hysteroscopy January 2014 to remove scar tissue.
    BFP#4 6.18.14 EDD 3.3.15 Team Pink
    --AL always welcome--
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  • ekmebmekmebm member
    Just explain to her that if you find out through the grapevine that she shared your news before you gave her the okay, she will be finding out through the grapevine that that baby has arrived, as she will be your last call.
    Kate & Eric Married 10.10.09

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  • CjenovaiCjenovai member
    This is our first pregnancy and we told our parents about a week or 2 after we found out.. While no one's spilled the beans yet, my MIL takes every opportunity she gets to convince me to be a stay at home mom like she was. I love my job though and have no plans on staying at home longer than 3 months... But she berates me and makes it seem like I won't love my child enough because I'm not staying home... So now I'm just ignoring her so I don't go berzerker
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  • teachingmama11teachingmama11 member
    Thanks ladies! I'm sorry for those of you who are having/have had your own MIL troubles. @ekmebm That basically is what we have decided and what my husband told her after everything today. I know she is like this, and we don't have the best relationship, so I am just going to try to ignore her annoying/hurtful actions. Thanks for letting me vent!! :)
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  • EnamiEnami member
    MIL can be a special kind of wench. Good luck with yours.
    -A well-tended garden is indicative of a well-tended soul.-
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  • ButtonGirl82ButtonGirl82 member
    My MIL just moved a plane ride away so i am trying to wait until she finds a job before we tell her im pregnant. Dont want her moving back :)
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