OT Rant

eg214 · August 2013

I've said it before and I'll say it again...why are there SO MANY nasty, snarky people on these boards? You ask a simple question and people jump all over you and beat you to a pulp. I just don't get it. Is it that people are miserable in their marriages and decide to go off on random pregnant people? I find most of them already have kids, so maybe not getting laid in a while? I just don't get it. Thank God for this board being comprised of sane, calm, and understanding people.

eg214 · August 2013

Oh...and then the favorite is "Nobody was being snarky or nasty to you." Right.

I think I will stick to only posting on this board from now on. Geez.

20thirteen · August 2013

Yeah, I stopped posting to my birth month board because they went off on me when I asked how to tell BD's mom that I didn't want something in particular to occur. "You should be grateful you're getting a baby shower!". I was like "well, yeah, but I'M NOT WITH THAT GUY."

eg214 · August 2013

Geezus man! It's so unreal! I mean, I get we pregnant gals are hormonal but they take it to a whole 'nother level. I guess some people have class and some don't. If you disagree with someone, there is a way to say it nicely. On the other hand, if you have nothing to say...don't say anything at all. Personally, I don't have time to critique other people's decisions between working full time and managing my life alone. What irritates me most is I wasn't asking for OPINIONS. I was asking about websites for baby shower invites and some verbiage to use since I'm flying in/out for my shower. You'd think I was the anti-Christ.

eg214 · August 2013

PS. Super cute baby name!

20thirteen · August 2013

Yeah, I'd say stick with us. We're pretty chill and only go off on each other for legitimate reasons. Not because we're having a bad day and want to yell at you for nothing. LOL

And thanks!

EarthandFire · August 2013

You went on the shower forum didn't you? I personally don't go in there. I'm of the opinion there is a lot of negativity going on in there. Telling people what to do and how it should be done. Everyone's situation is different.

Judgmental people suck. In my opinion my sister is very judgmental. She married the same guy she's been dating since she was 13. She went to college, got her degree, started a job, got married, bought a house, has a foster child and in her infinite worldly knowledge about dating, raising kids and the hardships of life she has all the answers. She has tried to get me advice about ending relationships that went on for years. How she knows anything about going through that I don't know as she's never been through what I have. It drives me crazy and has driven a wedge between us. She is what she is and there's nothing I can do to change her so I generally avoid her. I follow the same rule of thumb on here regarding judgmental posts. Did you know you can ignore individual people so you don't have to see their posts?

As for invitations, I've found that postcards are a great way to put together an invitations. If you're flying in and out, an Arriving: DATE Departure: DATE may be appropriate somewhere. Or please text/call/email me if you would like to make plans while I'm in town. I will be arriving ... and departing ...

Sorry you had to bear the brunt of that. On a side note, I'm due about a week after you.

Meery82 · August 2013

I think it's time to call the waaaahhhhmbulance. You apparently can't handle honesty. Quit being a baby. You're about to have one.

eg214 · August 2013

Joy2611 said:

I - um - did not beat you to a pulp. That's quite dramatic and not even slightly realistic.

I offered my opinion. You are free to ignore it. ::shrug::

Are you a single parent or just one of those no life stalkers who find other peoples after posts and share them with other boards. Get a life.

eg214 · August 2013

Thanks for the info! I just blocked all the nasty/crazies.

I can't believe people stalk and track down posts and blast them on the other boards. GET A LIFE!

And yes, the shower forum. It's like opening a door to a room full of angry, starving tigers chained up. SO NUTS! It's like they sit and wait for someone to ask a question and then they all pounce for their excitement of the day.

I realize my hostesses will do the invites and planning, but I'd like to give them a few affordable ideas since they are older, one works a full time job, and they are otherwise new to the baby shower thing. That's all I asked for was where people have gotten their invites.

My guests won't be able to buy me high chairs and car seats and cribs and strollers and expensive gifts, so I'm not worried TOO much about the shipping stuff, just wanted to see if there was a way others had mentioned it in their invites previously. I heard some people say if they are traveling, they return the items, and then buy them again when they get back home to avoid the shipping fees. I guess to some that would be a nasty, tacky thing to do too. LOL. Whatever. I will do things my way and I'm sure lose no friends in the process. My friends don't take that sort of thing so seriously. I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to have a shower, so this for me is a very exciting thing.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister. That really sucks

You are right about limiting your interaction. I recently X'd my dad's wife because she has always been WAY overboard with things and always wanted things to be centered around her, despite me living 1,000 miles away and seeing my dad for like a total of a week a year. Once she found out I was pregnant, her selfishness went into overdrive, so I just told her to butt out, blocked her email/phone number, and just don't interact with her at all. It's better that way for everyone because we just can't get along. I know you can't do that with your sister, but limiting her ability to poke at you is best.

I was originally set for Feb 3rd, but baby was measuring ahead at first ultrasound, so they made my EDD Jan 28th

Is this your first?

ktedmon · August 2013

I got jumped on when I announced that if I had a girl, the name would be Megan Nevaeh when I was on the names board. It's not their child! It's mine. One was like, "for the love of God do not name your child Nevaeh! Do you think you're being original?" There weren't many positive responses as to my boy name choice, but they were a little nicer. In Nov i will be welcoming Tristan Matthew. And I agree that there are a lot of snarky women on here.

EarthandFire · August 2013

I think the best thing I've heard to do with baby showers away from home (and it was on the shower board) was for guests to set an in store pick up for the store closest to your home. They could print pictures and wrap them or put them in cards for you if they were so inclined. Little things aren't as hard though.

My sister has always been as she is. For some its insecurity, for others it's a perspective they don't understand I think. They really feel like they're giving sound advice and for some it is but from our perspective their suggestions however intended don't fit with the way we want to live our lives and makes us happy.

I know my conception date and we've set my due date from there. We haven't done an ultrasound yet but I doubt it wavers. This is my second pregnancy but our third LO. The last time they moved my due date by a month after the ultrasound and LO1 was born punctually on the due date they set. I was 13% body fat at the time so Dr wasn't surprised I had a little spotting month 1 which accounted for the false due date. I'm a hard one in that I seem to have little babies. Full term but petite. Hasn't affected LO1 in the least. LO1 is bigger than most kids in class and is the absolute youngest.

eg214 · August 2013

ktedmon said:

I got jumped on when I announced that if I had a girl, the name would be Megan Nevaeh when I was on the names board. It's not their child! It's mine. One was like, "for the love of God do not name your child Nevaeh! Do you think you're being original?" There weren't many positive responses as to my boy name choice, but they were a little nicer. In Nov i will be welcoming Tristan Matthew. And I agree that there are a lot of snarky women on here.

Yeah I'm steering clear of sharing names with most people, let alone the message boards. I don't know why people think they have a duty to comment like that on people's name choices. However, if you were asking people's opinion on the name...that might be different...but still...there's a way to say "Mmmm...that wouldn't be my choice" or "I know too many babies named that" or whatever...not being so overly dramatic and mean spirited about it. I love the Tristan Matthew name. Presh.

eg214 · August 2013

Yes. Tha

EarthandFire said:

I think the best thing I've heard to do with baby showers away from home (and it was on the shower board) was for guests to set an in store pick up for the store closest to your home. They could print pictures and wrap them or put them in cards for you if they were so inclined. Little things aren't as hard though. My sister has always been as she is. For some its insecurity, for others it's a perspective they don't understand I think. They really feel like they're giving sound advice and for some it is but from our perspective their suggestions however intended don't fit with the way we want to live our lives and makes us happy. I know my conception date and we've set my due date from there. We haven't done an ultrasound yet but I doubt it wavers. This is my second pregnancy but our third LO. The last time they moved my due date by a month after the ultrasound and LO1 was born punctually on the due date they set. I was 13% body fat at the time so Dr wasn't surprised I had a little spotting month 1 which accounted for the false due date. I'm a hard one in that I seem to have little babies. Full term but petite. Hasn't affected LO1 in the least. LO1 is bigger than most kids in class and is the absolute youngest.

Yes. That's what I was planning on doing, but I don't think Target has the pick up in store option. Not sure. I'm just doing Target and Amazon, not BRU, which I know does that. I'll just stick to returning big things if necessary.

Yes this is my 2nd pregnancy, but first baby

Thank goodness I don't have too many people around to give me opinions. Since I'm doing things with a midwife, I don't need people telling me horror stories and out of date advice. I'm comfortable with my choices (as I'm sure you are) and have cared for enough of other peoples babies in my life so I know ho to care for my own and I think most people know that. Yeah, I just don't like when people give opinions and you don't ask for them. One of my pet peeves I guess. Just gotta let stuff roll off your back I guess.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

What a head case.

Tiffwhorton · August 2013

I so needed this thank you! Lol. I get scared to post anything because i always get attitude or smart-butt remarks. I couldnt tell if i was being oversentive or not. Now i know its not just me

EarthandFire · August 2013

SStinson1 said:

Yes this is my 2nd pregnancy, but first baby Thank goodness I don't have too many people around to give me opinions. Since I'm doing things with a midwife, I don't need people telling me horror stories and out of date advice. I'm comfortable with my choices (as I'm sure you are) and have cared for enough of other peoples babies in my life so I know how to care for my own and I think most people know that. Yeah, I just don't like when people give opinions and you don't ask for them. One of my pet peeves I guess. Just gotta let stuff roll off your back I guess.

With LO1 some of the horror stories were helpful. I opted not to have an epidural unless necessary because of one but labor the first time doesn't have to be long and terrible. Mine certainly wasn't. That scares me a little because last time it went so fast and they say number two is faster.

I'm not fond of unsolicited advice either but I have received some good ones I didn't ask for and was glad. I've gotten a lot more that weren't like that but the gems were worth the stones to me. On here if you post something I feel you have to expect opinions both helpful and not. People's perspectives are all different. It's the ones that, like my sister, give you advice according to how they think you should live your life that irritate me. The ones who honestly look at it from my perspective and try to offer something helpful I appreciate. I get a very clear picture from lots of perspectives that way and I feel it makes decision making easier. I feel more confident. If I were mad about all the bad advice on forums or from family, I'd be really cranky.

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