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What to do? Daughter being bitten by her cousin while with the nanny...

pischkepearpischkepear member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I'm hoping for a little feedback because I'm not sure what to do.  Here's a little background. My daughter is 15 months and her cousin is 16 months. We share a nanny.  The past three weeks my cousin's daughter has bitten my daughter 3 times. I know that biting is normal at this age, but I don't feel comfortable with the way this is trending, especially leaving her in a situation where she is being hurt.  Do you think that this is a caregiver problem and that the nanny needs to be more proactive?  I know that my cousin has a much more intense personality than my daughter and from what I can gather she is biting her when she is getting attention from the nanny (ie receiving a bottle after a nap) or when she is frustrated when they are playing together. Once she went up and bit her on the foot while the nanny had placed my daughter in her high chair to feed her.  Any suggestions for things that can be done? Am I overreacting? I don't want to pull her from the child care situation but I don't really know what else I can do if this continues....

Thanks.

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Re: What to do? Daughter being bitten by her cousin while with the nanny...

  • MrsJetSetMrsJetSet member
    It is hard to know if it is the nanny or child. Dd recently became a biter at school but never bites at home. She simply does not know how to deal with her emotions and teething.
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  • FemShepFemShep member
    At this age, it happens. It's a normal developmental stage for kids, and it sounds like it's happening at the "normal" times (when the child is frustrated, wanting attention, etc). I wouldn't pull your child from the nanny share-instead, ask the nanny what she does to address the biting, talk about what you expect, etc. Keep in mind that any setting with more than one toddler will involve biting.
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  • blu-eyedwifeblu-eyedwife member
    My kid gets bit... a lot.  I'm not sure if it's more than normal or not, but I get a lot of emails/notes home that read along the lines of "Your child is fine, but...he was bitten by another child at school during x situation.  The skin was not broken, we washed it and applied ice.  We talked to both children about biting and x (sharing toys, playing gently with our friends)."   At this age, there's really a limit to what can be done other than repeating what the wanted behavior is.  

    When I dropped him off this week, I was actually present for a biting.  I was talking to one of the caregivers, while my son and his friends started crawling under my legs, running around, and repeating.  They were getting excited, and the next thing I know, my son is crying and pointing to his back because one of his friends bit him.  I comforted him while the other provider took away the child, and after a couple of minutes he came back and gave a hug (he's not verbal enough to say sorry).  
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  • Nel11Nel11 member
    That's very normal- I would ask the nanny what she does when it happens, and maybe talk about what you expect to happen, but I wouldn't stress about it.  At this age, kids just don't have the communication and maturity to handle their emotions, so they bite/kick/hit, etc.  It won't last forever, and your daughter will probably bite her cousin a couple times at some point too.
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  • preggersin2011preggersin2011 member
    LO goes to day care& she either bites or gets bitten at least 3x a week if not more. It is part of why they have the a separate classroom for the around 18-24month range. At long as the skin isn't being broken it really is a no harm situation at their level of development. Most of LO's situations are out of frustration, like someone trying to take a toy from her. All you really can do it tell them biting hurts as they do it and remove them from the situation. 
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