Advice from natural/Bradley birth moms

mkirby624 · March 2009

Who died and made you pregnant police? <--my thought toward a majority of people these days.

I know this is a complaint almost every pregnant woman has. Nosy people!

This is my first pregnancy, so I am apparently a target for unsolicited advice and/or rude comments when I say what kind of birth I want.

I want a natural birth. I am using the Bradley Method. I'm not taking any type of medicine (OTC or prescription) during the pregnancy, nor will I accept any type of pain medication (including IV drugs) during labor/delivery. I do not plan on being induced unless truly necessary (I'm 3 weeks late with a big fat baby) and I've educated myself enough to know when a c-section is actually needed and when I'm receiving medical advice from someone who's watch is ticking and is ready to go home. With this method, you keep a close eye on your nutritional intake, exercise, etc. The Bradley Method focuses completely on how natural birth is a possibility for every woman who remains low risk.

So what am I hearing?

"Oh you'll change you're mine"

"Why on earth would you do that when you could just get an epidural?"

"Are you insane?"

"Oh, you're just young and stupid. That first contraction will hit and you'll be screaming for drugs"

"It's impossible to give birth naturally. You might as well just plan for an epidural"

Seriously people? First of all, I don't just bring up that I'm having a natural birth because I know I will hear these things; however, when others around me say "Oh you'll love that epidural," I feel the need to say "I'm not using one." Open the flood gates.

Moms who PLANNED a natural birth, did you get attacked by others and how did you deal with it? I am a VERY opinionated person, so it is hard for me to laugh comments off. I probably make it worse for myself by trying to explain to these nay-sayers WHY I am going drug free and the benefits of it. I just get "Well, I had drugs and my kids are fine" and they wave it off like having a child naturally is some new-fangled idea or something. It's insanity. I'm only 14 weeks, and it's already getting ridiculous! HELP!

DSteed-to-be · March 2009

Some people look at me like I won't make it, but my family is very supportive, as is DH and the ILs (my MIL gave birth naturally to both of her biological children). My mom didn't go natural, but she has no tolerance for pain; my cousin went natural, and she and her mom are very encouraging and helpful as well.

I hope you do find some supportive people in your personal life (not just from your classes of fellow natural childbirth devotees) to encourage you!

chels0120 · March 2009

I know the feeling. All of my friends look at me like why the hell would you do that to yourself, but I feel that way about them having a huge needle shoved in their back and being pumped full of drugs! I know it isn't going to be a walk in the park, but that is why they call is LABOR right?? Hang in there!!

chrissyellen · March 2009

I am sorry; I cant be too much help because I do plan to use an epidural. I will never understand why some people judge however. I love the comment you mentioned....

"It's impossible to give birth naturally. You might as well just plan for an epidural"

LOL. It's impossible. I love it. Just stick with what you want to do and with what you are 100% comfortable with. Ignor everyone else. You know what they say about opinions - their like asss-holes... everyone's got one!

kell8807 · March 2009

I'm so sick of people telling me I'm insane because I don't want an epidural! People gave birth for years before the epidural and drugs came around. It's natural! I just remind them, that it's my life and my child not theirs.

zoieglow · March 2009

I don't. But when people ask I say I'm planning a natural birth but am accepting of the fact that things can prevent me from being able to have the birth I want.

It's nice to have a birth plan and an idea of how you want it to go but you have to go into it open minded and flexible enough to realize that things don't always happen that way. In fact, from reading birth stories and being on BOTB for over a year, I have heard more people say things went exactly how they didn't plan them to go than that they had the exact birth they envisioned.

People will open their mouthes and say whatever falls out all the time. Just chalk the comments up to ignorance and try not to get so worked up about it.

jexxie · March 2009

i think it's crazy on both sides. naturalists are just as stubborn. guilting you into a drugfree birth doesn't make friends. and a pain-free birth? BS!!! not without drugs. you can call contractions whatever you want but they're still going to hurt like a biitch.

i have gotten the same comments because i'm going natural. i can take pain. my job actually requires it. i'm going natural, and you know what? it's for ME. i don't want a C-section etc. honestly, a sleepy baby is the least of my worries.

bennettwed · March 2009

I didn't necessarily plan a natural birth with my first pg, I said all during the pg that I would prefer that but figured I'd see what happens. Luckily my daughter did the deciding for me when I went so quick they said, oops sorry too late now if you would want anything....Which pleased me because I now know I can live through it. haha I'm hoping to do the same thing this time and go natural though I'm still hoping that it goes fast again too, because now knowing whats to come, If it takes longer and knowing there is relief....i'm not sure if i would turn it down or not being put in that pain again. It is possible though to go through, and don't let people get to you, I was told the whole time that I'd never make it without, I showed all those people though and it gives you bragging rights!!

DarcyLongfellow · March 2009

I'm also planning to take a Bradley class and try to go natural. However, I'm also reserving my right to get into labor and change my mind and decide I want an epidural.

I'm still getting comments like that from people.

Honestly, I think a lot of it is that people like to have other people validate their choices. They chose an epidural, so they want you to choose one too. Maybe they wish they hadn't had it, maybe they are jealous that you're willing to try without one. Maybe they just know that handling pain like that without medication is not a decision they'd ever make, so they can't really understand your choice.

I think the best way to deflect comments like that is humor. I usually just say that I'm more terrified of a needle in my spine and a possible spinal headache than I am of pain. But, I also always follow up by saying I'm not 100% opposed to an epidural, I'd just prefer not to have one.

I also make very sure that I'm careful to not judge people who choose to have an epidural. Just like I don't want comments from them, I'm sure they have (at some point) had to endure comments about how the epidural is bad, etc.

nicolehoppe · March 2009

We started our Bradley Method classes last week. Most of the people I mention it to are supportive (or even admitted a little envious that the hubs is that committed to going through the training and the 12 week course). We also plan to cloth diaper, exclusively breastfeed, and I may possibly leave a lucrative career to be a SAHM, so we get a lot of opinions on everything! Frankly, I am pretty tired of it.

IMO, your labor and delivery and parenting style is a completely personal choice, and should not be scrutinized or judged. Your decisions are exactly that- decisions for you- not others. If you haven't already started your classes (and I would highly recommend them if you can take them), you will probably be comforted when they begin and you are surrounded by a group of like-minded couples.

My irritiation depends on 'who' the advice is coming from. My MIL acts like she is an OB and always tells me what to expect (it never happens). Her "birth story" always changes too, depending on what we have decided to do. One day she was talking about how she was in labor for days and needed drugs and then once we told her about our plans it all of a sudden become a "great experience-completely natural and quick"

bennettwed · March 2009

I was induced with mine though, patosin, but it didn't end up doing anything so they broke my water, and thats when the big labor came.

IselaCid · March 2009

Yes, I got lots of horrible comments. My favorite being "you know, you won't get a medal for it". It wasn't like I threw it out there, but people always asked if I was planning on getting an epidural.

My best advice? Surround yourself with encourging supportive people, both IRL and on line. Build yourself a support group. Look into Bradley/Natural Birth Yahoo groups. Find a place to go to get that extra support when you need it most. Also, read tons and tons of natural birth stories.

Once I found a group of like minded moms and read lots of birth stories, I felt secure enough in myself that I was able to take on the naysayers...and let me tell ya...if felt great to prove them wrong!

mkirby624 · March 2009

nicolehoppe:
We started our Bradley Method classes last week. Most of the people I mention it to are supportive (or even admitted a little envious that the hubs is that committed to going through the training and the 12 week course). We also plan to cloth diaper, exclusively breastfeed, and I may possibly leave a lucrative career to be a SAHM, so we get a lot of opinions on everything! Frankly, I am pretty tired of it.

IMO, your labor and delivery and parenting style is a completely personal choice, and should not be scrutinized or judged. Your decisions are exactly that- decisions for you- not others. If you haven't already started your classes (and I would highly recommend them if you can take them), you will probably be comforted when they begin and you are surrounded by a group of like-minded couples.

My irritiation depends on 'who' the advice is coming from. My MIL acts like she is an OB and always tells me what to expect (it never happens). Her "birth story" always changes too, depending on what we have decided to do. One day she was talking about how she was in labor for days and needed drugs and then once we told her about our plans it all of a sudden become a "great experience-completely natural and quick"

We're on week 7 of our Bradley Classes and I feel like I have learned so much already. i feel so strong in there, then when I step back into my work place, I'm attacked! Women are SOOOO catty haha. I'm even having a woman who's never had children giving me advice.

My mother doesn't understand WHY I want to go drug free, but supports it. She says it's my birth, but not to try to be a "hero" My MIL has absolutely NO confidence in me and often makes snide remarks of "You hope" when I say to a family member who asks that I am going to do it without an epidural.

A lot of people have made comments that you can't go in there saying NO epidural, because WHAT IF something bad happens and you need a c-section, then you're whole plan is ruined.

From my perspective, if I walk in there allowing an epidural to be an option during a normal birth...I will end up with one. But if I don't allow it to be an option unless, God forbid, I need a c-section, then I will be less likely to get one. They keep telling me to always make it an option, but if you want a truly natural birth..leaving it as an option is going to lead to getting one anyway.

Thanks for your note! It's nice to not be the only one who is looked at like a lunatic. My Bradley class mates aren't really facing these things because they are either housewives or SAHM's who don't deal with the constant unsolicited advice at work every day!

DaisyAdair · March 2009

I had an epi with my 1st and the experience was horrifying. I knew I'd never get another. Yet, everyone told me I'd never be able to do it, just try the epi again, etc, etc.

It's amazing what one bad experience will do for a person. I did have my 2nd without an epi and it was pretty easy. I asked for it once...my OB said she'd order it, but asked if I really wanted to risk all of those problems again. Nope. That was that.

Even knowing what I went through before, people refused to believe I could do it.

The "try it again" advice was my favorite. OK....here is a kick in the teeth. Hurts, right? Wait...let me try it again. Maybe this time it won't hurt. There are some things you know not to do a 2nd time and, for me, the epidural is one of them!

nicolehoppe · March 2009

mkirby624:
nicolehoppe:

My mother doesn't understand WHY I want to go drug free, but supports it. She says it's my birth, but not to try to be a "hero" My MIL has absolutely NO confidence in me and often makes snide remarks of "You hope" when I say to a family member who asks that I am going to do it without an epidural.

A lot of people have made comments that you can't go in there saying NO epidural, because WHAT IF something bad happens and you need a c-section, then you're whole plan is ruined.

The worst (which I get from my MIL) is that "this all sounds great- in THEORY". As if as soon as labor begins my mind will go blank and I will mindlessly agree with anything and everything the nurse/OB/tech/phlebotomist/janitor or whoever the hell else happens to be in the room suggests!

I've got news- theories are good! Einstein and Newton has theories and they won freaking nobel prizes. Yet, we get scrutinized for our "theories".

My mom is very supportive, but she is into everything holistic and alternative medicine. It makes things easier. Have fun in class!

Madyson2006 · March 2009

Yes First of all

I had a c-section as I was told of a small pelvis (entirly bull ***) I have always wanted natural. As you I am also very opinionated. I don't care if it screws things up or not......Its YOUR baby and more power to you for sticking to your guns. But you ought to be careful of doctors who feel we become an inconveniece to them by staying in labor for longer than their usual convenient shift.......because they will try to use every fvckin' excuse in the world to get over u (can u tell i had a bad experince?) sorry but it irritates me that people think we are toys who can be cut and sliced and be shoved up with needles anywhere they like. ughhhh

So I told my best friend that I wanted to go VBAC this time. She had a natural birth and hated it I guess. She said I am CRAAAAZZZZZZYYY!

So people and anyone close to you will tell you shiit but don't believe it. God is with you, our labor dust is with you whenever you will need it.

Your body is MEANT to do this, Otherwise why would you have the ability to give birth and not your huband (the strong men they are called) whewwwww!!!!!

QuiltMommy · March 2009

With my first child, I *hoped* for a natural childbirth. But... since I had never had a contraction or given birth before, my response to those who asked was "I've never had a baby before, so I really can't decide until I'm in that room and know what it feels like to have a baby." No one can argue with that since you aren't declaring your decision.

And, it's true - you can hope and prepare for this or that, but until you are in the situation, you can't be sure what will work. I thought for sure the shower would be my #1 relief, but once I got in there, the feeling of the water on my skin annoyed the crap out of me. Who knew?

P.S. I did have a natural childbirth - in 2.5 hours! It was a great experience and I am crossing my fingers that this baby will be as cooperative.

tigpom · March 2009

I know it is hard to hear people tell you you are wrong but all I can say is ignore it and prove them wrong. Every women has a right to chose her birth plan so you and your DH should be the ones who make the decisions. Good luck

Manderlin923 · March 2009

I am planning on a natural birth with a midwife. I know it's going to hurt, i know i might think i'm going to die- but the truth is no one has ever died from pain have they? lol... i am researching as much as i can and I am taking classes soon. My sister (even living a very natural lifestyle) thought I was weird until I talked with her about all my reasons why and feelings about it. Then she did a complete 180, looked at me and said she was proud of me and if she could do it over she would do it that way too...

I try not to judge other people's birth plans or anything because I hate being judged. It is a personal thing- I may have very passionate views on it but my friend is very pregnant right now, due next month and I know she's going to get an epidural, etc.... and I would never tell her she's crazy. That is just RUDE.

I also think natural birth and the success of it depends on how relaxed you are, how much support you have during labor, etc... I know it would be much harder to me to have a happily natural birth with harsh lighting, stress, people screaming at me to push! etc.

The worst thing so far that two women said to me, both moms, was when an episiotomy was mentioned and I said i wasn't getting one. They both were like, "what? you'll change your mind!" and i was like, no, i won't. If i tear, i tear but i'm hoping that won't happen and there's a strong chance i might not. they were like, "you'll tear. you'll definetely tear." really? Do you know how my vag and perenial area work? My midwife says that sutures are the thing she's "worst at" (said with a laugh) because she rarely has to do them. Hm.... I know it's catty but I just want to prove them wrong- plus, i don't want someone stitching up my crotch unless they have to.

Good luck and just keep strong, no matter what people may say to you. it is your life, your baby and you have to prepared for the crazy looks and rude comments because we are definetely in the minority when it comes to this subject. I hope it works out for you all!

rowanthefrog · August 2013

I've planned two natural births, but my births had other plans. But...I did hear a lot of what you are talking about and it was very frustrating. You know what you want, you have prepared for it, so you just have to tune that out. It won't be the first time...once you become a parent you will hear all SORTS of unsolicited comments.

Stick to your guns, lay out a good support system for your birth and good luck! I'm hoping to have my natural birth this last time

A

Soap1 · August 2013

I don't think you'll make too much headway with explaining your reasons. If you say, "I'm going natural because it's better for the baby," then you're basically insulting THEIR choice.

I would just respond with something like, "I know I don't know what I'm in for, but this is really what I want to try." That diffuses the situation pretty easily without you getting upset or being rude.

HerbanMom · August 2013

This is my third, second planned unmedicated birth and I still get people who openly doubt my ability to do it. I just don't really share my plans and if I do, I let them know (especially those that have never given birth before but still feel the need to offer commentary) it's my choice and I don't need their "advice".

lrj85 · August 2013

My MIL has never met a pill she didnt like or a pain med she won't take. That totally extended to all of her birth experiences. I am attempting a VBAC its important I not have any intervention. My csection was torture and I would sooner eat my arm off than do that again so I am happy to be doing this naturally in a birth center. I constantly get comments from her like "oh you'll want an epidural trust me" I just smile and remind her I labored for 12 hours on the full dose of pit I am well aware how bad it can and will hurt please stop with the negative commentary

MPLSdesigner · August 2013

I was very much like you until I went through birth. I went through a 12 week Bradley Class, had a doula (the same women who taught us our Bradley Class) and was planning on a water birth at a birth center.

Let's just say it did not go as planned. I ended up having to have the baby at a University Hospital with a team of specialists around me and I elected for a C-Section.

BUT - I wouldn't change a thing about the way my son was born becuase I got the exact same results even though the path was the polar opposite from what I planned. I got a healthy baby who crawled up on my breast within moments of birth (as they were sewing me up) and today he's seriously thriving.

My two cents would be stick to your guns (you know best what is the right thing for you and your family) but please think very deeply on why you have all those goals of a natural birth (for you, for accomplishment or for the baby) and make sure that you anticipate various routes to get to your goal as I can assure you things will not go as you planned (it never does).

The women I have found that are the most dissapointed after birth are not necessarily the ones who don't have things go 'perfectly' but those that don't open their minds and accept different scenarios. If you allow yourself to plan strategies for different situations your birth will be beautiful no matter what happens and no matter what all the 'haters' say :0)

xxoo

PS. I've attached my birth story which is infused with a lot of Bradley Stuff. Good luck.

nicolemarie517 · August 2013

I basically quit talking about it with people who were not supportive, and prepared myself the best I could. I read along weekly in what to expect to see what baby was up to, and I also read Ina mays guide to childbirth. The other thing that helped me prepare was reading positive natural birth stories. Try to keep your head as positive about birth as you can. I had zero fear of labor and birth. With that being said, when the time came everything I read didn't matter. I needed those things to keep me positive thru my pregnancy, but I was making my own birth story just like the other women who inspired and encouraged me.
If you put your mind to it, it most certainly can be done. You were designed to give birth!

nicholssquared · August 2013

This will (hopefully) be my third natural birth. Some people have a major issue with it. To them, I do something like this:

rbtrumpet · August 2013

pregnancy is "damned if you do, damned if you don't".

I'm doing Bradley classes, but not completely outlawing the epidural. I'm a huge wuss, and while I really want to go natural, I really have no idea what will happen, and I'm open to all possibilities.

I get crap from my mom ALL THE TIME because I'm even open to the possibility of the epidural. Just the thought of it make her go crazy. I'm so glad she will NOT be in the hospital with me!

On the other hand, I get crap from a lot of my friend who keep telling me I'll never make it without an epidural. "oh just you wait!" "why are you even bothering to take those expensive classes? Just get the epidural and be over with it."

I just smile and nod. I've decided I'm not going to please everyone, and I really don't give a crap. My OB is on board with natural birth, and she's the only person who I actually care about what she thinks!

ETA: just another thought though - be mindful of people who do want the epidural too. Think of how annoyed you are when people judge your decisions, and put the shoe on the other foot. Just saying this because I have a good friend who is 6 weeks behind me, and she is completely opposite from me, she wants the epidural, she plans on using disposable diapers, etc....every mother has to make the choices that she feels are best for her and her baby - and no one wants to be judged for them!

hannahlce · August 2013

Try reading Ina May's Guide To Childbirth... I'm reading it now and it kind of turns me into a blubbering mess, but it's still worth it. I thought FOR SURE I would opt for a c-section or an epi, but after some deliberation, I decided on a midwife and a doula and for a natural birth. My midwife is part of a group so she just recommended I see the OB a few times just in case something happens, which she says is normally not the case (it's a very small percentage). And I met with my doula who was very supportive. She basically told me just to keep an open mind. I'm getting the same flack you are though, everyone thinks I'm crazy for even trying. But I've heard it's really difficult with pitocin and AWFUL with epi because you can't feel if you're pushing or not!! My doula told me that she will obviously help in whatever way I want, but that if I get half way through and decide I need something to take the edge off, then there's no shame in it. So I'm just going to keep an open mind, know that I don't want a c-section until it's an absolute emergency, know that my body can most likely do it without any help, but accept that if I need something, it's okay, too. Good luck!

hannahlce · August 2013

Try reading Ina May's Guide To Childbirth... I'm reading it now and it kind of turns me into a blubbering mess, but it's still worth it. I thought FOR SURE I would opt for a c-section or an epi, but after some deliberation, I decided on a midwife and a doula and for a natural birth. My midwife is part of a group so she just recommended I see the OB a few times just in case something happens, which she says is normally not the case (it's a very small percentage). And I met with my doula who was very supportive. She basically told me just to keep an open mind. I'm getting the same flack you are though, everyone thinks I'm crazy for even trying. But I've heard it's really difficult with pitocin and AWFUL with epi because you can't feel if you're pushing or not!! My doula told me that she will obviously help in whatever way I want, but that if I get half way through and decide I need something to take the edge off, then there's no shame in it. So I'm just going to keep an open mind, know that I don't want a c-section until it's an absolute emergency, know that my body can most likely do it without any help, but accept that if I need something, it's okay, too. Good luck!

LibbyVille · August 2013

I sounded just like you before I had DD. I had done my Bradley class and had my birth plan ready. Unfortunately, I had to be induced when DD was 11 days late. I ended up having an epi because my back labor was so bad. In the end, I ended up with an emergency c section. Nothing about her birth matched up with my original birth plan.

I think it is great that you have your plan. I hope it will work out for you. It might not go to plan and that is okay. All that really matters is that you have a healthy baby.

barista411 · August 2013

I don't talk to other people about my birth plan. It is my body and my child and I will choose what is best for us. I am a huge natural birth advocate but understand that not everyone shares the same view and am not one to force my view on others.

shiway · August 2013

Just wait until after your birth and you tell your birth story. It keeps coming. People like that are truly just ignorant and its sad. I had a natural out of hospital birth. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done. It did not go how I planned. It was 63 hrs of back labor and 3 sleepless nights. But it was exactly what I wanted! I had amazing support and afterwards I was empowered to be the best mom I could be. It's something no one can take away from me. I am planning the same birth plan this time around. It's hard when you are a first time mom and you have strong beliefs in birth but have not been there yet. But don't let that shake your confidence. That is what most people lack who choose epidurals. Yes my body is made for this and yes it's going to be hard but it is so worth it. So many benefits. I believe epidurals are an amazing intervention when someone needs that extra help. But it is sad how it has become "just the norm".

waittilltomorrow · August 2013

My first birth I had gas and pethadine. I would not recommend pethadine as it makes you drowsy and they don't like you walking around which means your labour can slow down. I also had a med free birth for my second child. He pain was a bitch and I was screaming as I was tearing at the end. But afterwards I felt amazing and felt that I was able to spend better bondting time with my daughter. I felt the leading sort of robbed me of it a bit as I felt 'hung over' from it the next day. This birth I am flexible. I will try and go drug free, but if I can't that is ok too. Whatever works for me at the time. Good luck

theseaword · August 2013

I didn't talk to anyone but my DH about my birth plan. If asked, I just said I would see how it goes. I did end up delivering without the epi or pain meds and I will choose that again if possible.

gatheringteal9 · August 2013

I'm pregnant with my 1st at 19 weeks and have been raising eye brows with lifestyle choices my whole life. My thoughts about others strange and often aggressive comments is simply that other people can be Threatened by the Unknown. You have courage for knowing what you want and going for it rather than falling into the wave of decisions made my others 'more qualified' The truth is... This is just the beginning! After the baby comes everyone still will want to share their two cents! Some don't learn that interaction runs deeper than that! I am 23 years old, a vegan who juices and is moving toward higher percentage of raw food intake, and havent taken a pharmaceutical or over the counter drug in over 5 years. I also don't drink sodium fluoride because its poisonous nor do I eat genetically engineered organisms or GMOS. (My mother in law calls me to ask me if I'm eating enough while I am juicing fresh veggies and she's at McDonalds!!!!) I'm living in a town and state I don't want to have the baby in. I have no plan. No health insurance. (Working on it) And I TRUST and know that it will all work out. I would Love to birth with a midwife at home- have a Lotus birth- (hopefully I find my nest) if not I will free birth where ever I am how ever I can! Women in other countries will squat down in the fields and have their babies! Anyway-- I'd say have a little smile when someone pokes or prods or throws their opinion at you... Know that you are in your power and smile that you might have introduced something new to someone who needed a little mind opening... Whether they 'get it' or not they have still be effected by knowing there's people out there who follow their hearts and do things differently!!!

joynalanson · August 2013

im with you! but trust, people's opinions are irritating about anything to do with pregnancy. i have my circle of mommy friends, and i value their opinions because THEY KNOW ME!!! these people dont know you, and i recommend you just give them a flat "ok." and just walk off. because who asked you. lol.

gobbo1985 · August 2013

The only people I talk to about my birth plan are my parents MIL and sister. Well my sister thinks I'm crazy for wanting the natural route. But hey it's what's our bodies are meant to do. I have also hired a doula and she is amazing and so supportive and makes me feel so relaxed and positive about the how pregnancy and labour experience. Which is what it should be. My husband is very supportive and is on the same page as me.

We just had a friend give labour on Tuesday and she did a amazing no drugs nothing. She also did everything she could in her pregnancy to make it easy. Prenatal yoga chiropractor appointments and ate healthy. Which is exactly what I'm doing. And she was all natural.

I am also looking into hypnobirthing.

A lot of women think why the hell would you want to feel that pain?!? Well I feel that I want to know what's going on down there and know when to push instead of being frozen.

I also want to be able to walk around and use massage to help with the pain.

Remember the pain is only there for a little while and if you educate yourself which you are doing you will do great!!

Stay positive and look at it as a positive wonderful experience!

Good luck!

Whisperscloset · August 2013

Mine was an unexpected plan...I actually planned on the epidural...however.the epidural did not work...it started numbing everything up instead of down, and he stated that if he gave me anything else, i would stop breathing....it was dangerous to hear, so i asked him to take the epidural out...I gave birth naturally, and i felt fine..hardest part i can admit was the head coming out, but afterwards no problem...whether it was planned or not...its no bodys business....but in my experience...my life meant more...Im going to elect not to have it with this baby as well....just consider what happened to me... :-*

PrimRoseMama · August 2013

I went med free the first time. This time I got an epideral at 9cm. My body was freaking out and the epi helped DS descend. I was worried it would hinder my progress, but it actually helped me labor down.

So be aware that "changing your mind" is allowed and sometimes encouraged for the health of you and baby. Flexibility will help you during labor & parenting. Never say never!

micaelasmakeup · August 2013

Honestly, I think a lot of it is that people like to have other people validate their choices. They chose an epidural, so they want you to choose one too. Maybe they wish they hadn't had it, maybe they are jealous that you're willing to try without one. Maybe they just know that handling pain like that without medication is not a decision they'd ever make, so they can't really understand your choice.

I also make very sure that I'm careful to not judge people who choose to have an epidural. Just like I don't want comments from them, I'm sure they have (at some point) had to endure comments about how the epidural is bad, etc.

This is pretty rude too, actually more so than the OPs complaints.
People say these things because usually they have your best interest in mind whereas you are in charge of keeping your baby safe.
Labor is HARD even with an epi. With my first I was open to going either way, 12 hours in DH whispered to me please get the epi, I can't watch you in pain anymore. And I was ready too.
You basically sound like a 17 yo saying Haters goin Hate.
There's nothing wrong with an epi and nothing wrong with any choices we make as moms as long as we do our own research and choose what is best for our bodies and our babies.
What we don't need is other Women telling us we are just trying to make ourselves feel less guilty by telling our experiences and opinions.
@-)

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Advice from natural/Bradley birth moms

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