DH won't let me sleep train

carriesu2003 · August 2013

For about 3 weeks now LO spends an hour screaming before bed. The more I check on her the worse it seems to get until eventually she just passes out from exhaustion. I am down for sleep training but my husband is not. Mind you it is ME who has to go in and comfort her. I feel like we are just ingraining bad habits in her but DH thinks she will grow out of it. Is anyone else at an impasse with their SO about sleep training? I don't know how to convince him that what we are doing isn't working. Sometimes he tries to make it seem like I want her to cry. In reality, I feel like we are dealing with bloody murder screaming for no reason. At least with CIO there is an end game. So frustrated.

marshmallows · August 2013

I read the books so he couldn't object to anything! Id make your hubs get he'd to sleek and get up with her until he listens to you!

Puck1182 · August 2013

I was more in favor of sleep training that my DH. Like you, I'm usually the one who gets up with her, just because she calms down faster for me, and if DH checks on her and she's still screaming, it's not like I get sleep anyway. :-P

It was getting to the point that I was dangerously sleep deprived and DD wasn't getting enough sleep either, and told him that I just needed to give it a try for a few nights to see how it worked, and he agreed. I was genuinely worried that the cumulative lack of sleep was going to result in my falling asleep while driving DD to my parents' house on the way to work.

Anyway, it has been two steps forward, one step back so far. The first night DD managed to fall asleep about 20 minutes in, the second night she was out in 12, the third night she cried so long that I had to go in and pick her up for a little bit, but once she calmed down and I put her in her crib she was out in less than 5 minutes. Last night she was back to taking 20+ minutes, and tonight it was 15. The biggest downside for me is that the past two nights when I let her fall asleep on her own, she ended up on her belly. I liked it much better when I'd put her down mostly asleep and she'd throw her head back so I had to put her on her side. I've been compulsively going in there and checking on her!

musicalmama5 · August 2013

Well, he is right that she will grow out of it eventually. But it's not OK that you're the one dealing with it and he's still giving his opinion... Let him be the soother for a few nights, then have another conversation. If he's still against it, talk to him about what he'd like to do.

ericalee27 · August 2013

musicalmama5 said:

Well, he is right that she will grow out of it eventually. But it's not OK that you're the one dealing with it and he's still giving his opinion... Let him be the soother for a few nights, then have another conversation. If he's still against it, talk to him about what he'd like to do.

I second this! Until he's in the trenches, it'sprobably hard for him to understand why you think this is the right thing to do...

penguingrrl · August 2013

I think he needs to do his share of the bedtime/nighttime thing if he wants a say in how it's done. I would also suggest looking into gentler sleep training methods if he's against CIO. There are many no cry methods out there and many peple choose them over CIO. I have had a lot of success with Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution personally!