talk to me about sleep training

starlightstef · August 2013

We're going on vacation for two weeks starting next weekend and when we get back we've decided it's time to start some sleep training. DS wakes up multiple times each night and has to be soothed back to sleep (sometimes just a pacifier, other times it takes rocking or feeding) and he will only nap in the moby wrap. I've started looking into different sleep books. I've heard a lot of people here used Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. I was reading some amazon reviews on this one and one person described this method as essentially just CIO without coming back to check on baby. The same person said the Ferber book is also CIO, but with some checking in various intervals. Does this sound accurate? What did/will you use? I doubt we'd have much luck with a strictly no-cry method (and please don't flame me for that!), but the extreme CIO described by that reviewer doesn't sound comfortable to me either. Ferber sounds like a middle of the road approach. What are your thoughts?

zipscheer07 · August 2013

Personally, I have not tried any of those. We started my DD on training from the beginning. It may not work for everyone but we have found it very helpful to do Bath, Bottle (She never latched on) and Bed. We found it that she slept longer at night when we gave her a little more food at bedtime. But we did this everynight at 830. She got her book read to her and off she went. Like I said, it may not work for every baby, just what has worked for mine.

bibby32714 · August 2013

I just adapted my own style as well. She gets bottle and bath then to bed. She gets zipped into her sleep suit and gets her pacificer and blankie and a few pats and cuddles and I leave. She has never really cried, just fusses. I go back every few minutes to give back the paci, straighten the blankie, give a little love, whatever she needs without picking her up. This has worked for a few weeks and it only takes her about 5 minutes to give in.

ceamac0127 · August 2013

We used Ferber's progressive waiting method. When she woke up we followed this schedule:

Day 1 - 3 min (1st wait); 5 min (2nd wait); 10 min (3rd wait); 10 min (subsequent waits)

Day 2 – 5 min; 10 min; 12 min; 12 min (subsequent waits)

Day 3 – 10 min; 12 min; 15 min; 15 min (subsequent waits)

Day 4 – 12 min; 15 min; 17 min; 17 min (subsequent waits)

Day 5 – 15 min; 17 min; 20 min; 20 min (subsequent waits)

Day 6 – 17 min; 20 min; 25 min; 25 min (subsequent waits)

Day 7 – 20 min; 25 min; 30 min; 30 min (subsequent waits)

We only had to do 2 days. The first day she cried for the 3 minutes so we went in and soothed her (WITHOUT picking them up) we just layed our hand on her tummy and shh'd so she knew we were there. it says not to stay in the room for more than a few minutes. by the time the 5 minutes rolled around, she was back asleep. On night 2 we went for an hour and she fell back to sleep and hasn't wonken up throughout the night since.

This worked great for us! just have to find what works best for you and your family.

lana22 · August 2013

rariese said:

I just adapted my own style as well. She gets bottle and bath then to bed. She gets zipped into her sleep suit and gets her pacificer and blankie and a few pats and cuddles and I leave. She has never really cried, just fusses. I go back every few minutes to give back the paci, straighten the blankie, give a little love, whatever she needs without picking her up. This has worked for a few weeks and it only takes her about 5 minutes to give in.

this but without sleep suit, pacifier or blankie. we started a routine when he was around 6 weeks (fan time, bath, bottle, book, song, snuggle). he fusses but rarely cries, and actually his fussing gets loudest and close to crying right before he conks out. we almost never have to go back in, but if i do i pick him up, kiss him, hold him in the glider for a minute or two, then put him back down. can't remember having to go back in twice for around a month (he's currently 4.5 months)

not sure this will work for you at this point, but i'd make same rec as other posters - go to library and read several sleep training books. take what works for you, it doesn't have to be black and white as long as you're consistent. we "nap trained" my older son (now 21 months) between 5/6 months and i did it based on a mesh of things i read in books that made sense for us.

jaime52005 · August 2013

Does this make them stop waking in motn or just learn to go to sleep on their own?

danuli8 · August 2013

I asked my pedi about this at our 4-month appointment and he recommended a very gentle Ferber-ish approach: wait 5 min, check and console but DO NOT pick up, then go back out and wait 6 minutes, check and console, go back out and wait 7 minutes, etc. We have been doing this for just a few days and things are already improving. jaime52005, the idea is that once your baby learns how to fall asleep on his own, he will get better at putting himself back to sleep in the middle of the night as well. This seems to be true for us--the weird extra wake-up between 4 and 6 AM that was dogging us for weeks did not happen last night.

However, I will say that I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and really liked it because it places a big emphasis on watching for your child's drowsy signals and putting them to bed before they get overtired. It made me a better observer of what my son does to show me he is getting tired.

CrazyMary77 · August 2013

How do you know they're not hungry? LO has been waking up twice a night to feed. With CIO, you just stop the feedings? I know, I should probably read a book about this...

ClandestineX · August 2013

The thing I have read concerning if they are hungry or not is.. if they are easily able to sooth back to sleep without a bottle then they aren't hungry, they are looking for comfort. If they are not able to be soothed back to sleep easily then chances are they are hungry.

ChicagoBroad26 · August 2013

CrazyMary77 said:
How do you know they're not hungry? LO has been waking up twice a night to feed. With CIO, you just stop the feedings? I know, I should probably read a book about this...

Please read the book! CIO doesn't mean neglect or letting the baby go hungry! We use extinction a la HSHHC and I'm currently nursing Mila and usually am up 2-3 times to feed her between 6:30 pm and 6 am.

CrazyMary77 · August 2013

I've been reading the No Cry Sleep Solution. Many of the things in that book I already do. LO has been having problems winding down for naps and bedtime, and it's been getting progressively worse the last couple of weeks. I wonder if it could be because we've been going out more, meeting new people, and she's had some big changes going on (e.g. new car seat, trying solids). I'm going to start working today on being better at responding to her tired cues so she doesn't get overtired, putting her down to sleep sooner. Also I'm working on having a more consistent bedtime routine. I'm hoping this will help.

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