Community› The Bump Message Boards› Stay at Home Moms
Stay at Home Moms
New Discussion

How did you know...

SallyAnneSSallyAnneS member
in Stay at Home Moms
If you should or should not have more then one child?

Dh and I always wanted 3 children, but after going through infertility, pdd (2 years of it b/c I didnt realize what it was and didnt get treatment until 14 months), and still not finding the best balance to keep both me and dh enough "me time" so we both are still tired all.the.time. We aren't sure if we want to have another child or not.

We both want to have a second child most of the time, but sometimes are aren't sure we wiuld be able to handle having two. But I think it might be mostly fear of going through ppd again. 

I have been told the second child isn't as much of a life transition as the first and that both the kids help entertain each other a bt more. True?

Sorry for the novel. We have been saying we can't go through if before disney because I don't want to be pg while there.  We go in 28 days (!!) I want to make a decision soon and start if treatment to get one cycle in before christmas.  I know in my heart I want a second child, but I am scared.
Twins:BabyFruit TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker


Report Reply to Post

Re: How did you know...

  • Cherryblossoms07Cherryblossoms07 member
    edited August 2013
    We knew we wanted two before we got married. The spacing of them we didn't really agree on. DH wanted them really close together. I wanted 3-4 years. We settled on two that way they could play together and hopefully make the transitions with moving all the time easier on them. I will not lie, two year difference was difficult. The level of difficulty will depend on the kids. DD was horribly jealous, DS had AR and slept like crap, plus we don't have family nearby. I have heard from other people with a two year spread that it wasn't difficult at all. I think it is natural to be scared. I was for a while. You figure it out. Even if it is difficult in the beginning it gets easier.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • LoriLee14LoriLee14 member
    I don't know really. I am hoping it will just dawn on me one day. We always agreed to 2. Now that we have one, my husband has expressed he is fine if he is an only. I have had my moments of thinking that isn't such a bad idea but told my husband not to go and do anything permanent yet. He is only 16 months and this is such a fun, wonderful, stressful time that I don't want to add anything on purpose.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Hollylb3Hollylb3 member
    I'm so torn on this. Going through 3 years of IF and just dying to have one, I almost feel guilty that I don't think I want another. Granted, ds has been rather difficult for the last 4 months, so who knows if I'll change my mind. He's only 7 months old. If we do have another, it'll be bare minimum 2 years. DH really wants another, but he works all the time and only does the fun stuff with him. Go fig.
    image





    **Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**

    Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
    BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
    June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
    Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
    Due 12/29/2012
    Report Reply
  • ASullivan1231ASullivan1231 member
    LoriLee14 said:

    I don't know really. I am hoping it will just dawn on me one day. We always agreed to 2. Now that we have one, my husband has expressed he is fine if he is an only. I have had my moments of thinking that isn't such a bad idea but told my husband not to go and do anything permanent yet. He is only 16 months and this is such a fun, wonderful, stressful time that I don't want to add anything on purpose.

    DH and I are at the same point. Our DS is even the same age. I think I could handle two I just don't know if I WANT two. I really worry about a 2nd child bc we have a very easy child and I have a hard time believing we'll get a 2nd one who is so good natured and such a good sleeper. Plus I really like our life.

    I know MANY people on here won't agree with me but there is a BIG part of me that wants to give DS a sibling to play and grow with. JMO, I think that's an important factor, even if I can't guarantee they'll be close.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"