husband's temper

springbreak3003 · August 2013

last night while getting the table set for dinner, suddenly a bunch of flies entered our house. i stopped what I was doing to supervise our 2yo daughter (who was in her booster seat), while my husband, who was in a bad mood since he came home, opened a window to shoo the flies away. right afterwards he walks over to me and shouts "ok, so where's dinner?!" in an angry and impatient manner. he was mad that I was just "standing there" next to our daughter instead of jumping back to the kitchen immediately. CRAZY. you would have thought I suddenly sat down and started doing my nails.

we also had a dinner guest there, and I know the incident made her feel awkward. since I'm not very confrontational, and didn't want to increase the drama around our daughter (and dinner guest), I took a deep breath and spoke about the incident when our daughter was asleep and our guest was gone. he agreed he was wrong, but didn't think the incident was as serious as i did. i told him i disagreed and he needs to get professional help. im making sure he goes (he promised after two similar incidents in the past, but did not go. i'm making sure he goes this time)

my husband is usually very kind, affectionate, etc. but can get very impatient easily and will blow up ABOUT NOTHING. these incidents happen about once a month (maybe less). he has even spoken to my parents this way and his own parents this way. he grew up spoiled and i'm sure this is the explanation.

what would you do?

i should add that next time this happens, I'm going to handle the situation immediately by calmly leaving the house and taking a walk/ drive for an hour or so. my husband needs a stronger reminder that his behavior is unacceptable. and, most importantly i want to set an example for my daughter that it is unacceptable for a man (or anyone) to order her around like like that.

i would love some feedback about this issue!

oliversmommy32912 · August 2013

Every marriage is different but it sounds like you're overreacting to be honest. Making your husband seek professional help because he looses his cool and says something snobby once a month or less seems a little over the top. Was he just grumpy and frustrated or did you feel like he was in danger or harming you or your daughter? I can only go off of what you have said here but that seems really normal to me.

LeofgythsMama · August 2013

I completely disagree with the previous poster. If he has no issues showing his anger in such a manner around guests and in front of a child that it makes her feel like he needs professional help, then he likely DOES need professional help. She stated that he blows up at nothing. This is not good and can be a very detrimental atmosphere for a child growing up.

StacyJYay · August 2013

LeofgythsMama said:

I completely disagree with the previous poster. If he has no issues showing his anger in such a manner around guests and in front of a child that it makes her feel like he needs professional help, then he likely DOES need professional help. She stated that he blows up at nothing. This is not good and can be a very detrimental atmosphere for a child growing up.

I very much agree with this. I think that flying off the handle in the manner you described is disrespectful to you and scary to a child. Bravo to you for insisting that he work on this with a professional.

MooOink · August 2013

I agree, that is not normal or healthy behavior. It shows disrespect and selfishness and I'm glad you are focused on creating a good environment for your daughter. Good luck with everything!

Mustardseed2007 · August 2013

Honestly....that is terrifying to me. To walk up to you, in close proximity, and yell at you like that, in front of a guest. That is actually scary to me. I would be concerned that if nothing is done about this it could escalate.

As to your suggestion about leaving the house next time, I don't know if I would leave him at home alone with my kid if he just finished yelling at me like that.

Socialworkgirl · August 2013

DaisyBlinks said:

Honestly, I think you should go to therapy with him. It's not really fair for you to come on here and give us your perspective of an incident and ask us to judge when we weren't there. We have no idea how scary or inappropriate it actually was. A marriage counselor can help you sort out how to talk to one another and would be much more qualified to assess whether or not he has an anger issue.

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