Attachment Parenting
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XP- Tandem nursing a baby & toddler?

Posted this on the BF board as well but I figured if there were Bumpies tandem nursing, they'd probably be on this board too :)

Anyone successfully tandem nursed a baby and toddler? My 14 month old nurses to sleep at both bedtime and naptime, wakeup, sometimes a night wakeup or two, and a few other times during the day (usually 7-8 times in 24 hours). I would like to nurse until at least 2 (unless he self weans earlier of course) but am open to going later if that's what he wants. I am now expecting #2 and DS will be 23 months when this LO is born. 

If you have tandem nursed, how did you do it...like, logistically? I have this image in my mind of sitting on the couch nursing a newborn through a growth spurt while my toddler whines and tries to latch on to the other side. Did you nurse them both at the same time or separately? Does the older one get jealous of the boobie time #2 gets? If colostrum came in during late pregnancy, did the toddler wean for a while and then start nursing again when your milk came in?

I really want to make this work for him but there isn't a lot of info out there and I'm a bit clueless!

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Re: XP- Tandem nursing a baby & toddler?

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    I haven't tandem nursed but I do plan to (we're TTC #2 now) and I have lots of friends who have tandemed! Their toddlers didn't wean during pregnancy but did nurse with great delight when the colostrum came in. ;) They're happily nursing alongside their little siblings, and the mamas find that continuing to nurse the toddlers makes their lives much much easier.

    Colostrum replenishes, so there's no danger of the toddler "using up" the baby's colostrum.

    The logistics are pretty simple. Your toddler can nurse on one side while your baby nurses on the other, and they can take turns (baby getting to go first if toddler doesn't want the side you offer, etc.). You can have them both in your lap or, sitting on a couch for example, have the toddler sitting next to you but facing you, under your arm, and nursing in a modified football hold while baby nurses laying across your lap.

    Tandem nursing has so many benefits to you and your toddler, including the immunological benefits of extended BFing, the "extra dose" of colostrum, the simple solution of asking the toddler to nurse to relieve engorgement, and the easy way to keep your supply up. :) Oh, not to mention that many moms find that tandem nursing strengthens the bond between siblings and helps to reduce toddler jealousy!!!

    I recommend checking out the books:
    Adventures in Tandem Nursing (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0912500972)

    and

    Mothering Your Nursing Toddler (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0912500522).

    These might have some great ideas for you! Good luck!
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    There is a gal in my moms group that tandem nurses. Her babies are 10.5mo apart. She does both at the same time and solo time. With both she does a cradle or football on the younger and the toddler will sit astride her thigh and self-latch or come from under her arm in a football hold. 

    My mom tandem nursed my brother and I. I haven't asked her about logistics, but I should! We are 16mo apart. 
    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
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    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
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    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

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    My two are 26 months apart and I tandem nursed both until the youngest was 8ish months old. My DS did not wean at all during my pregnancy, in fact he actually nursed more once my colostrum came in while I was pregnant. It did cause him to have looser stools due to the colustrum's laxative effects.

    When my youngest DD was born I at first allowed DS to nurse at the same time as DD. I'd have him sit on my lap and the I'd place DD on top of him while holding her and help her latch. DS could latch himself on by himself. I think I allowed them to both nurse at the same time for about a month. It was horrible and distressing the whole time both if them were nursing at the same time. The entire nursing session when both of them nursed made me want to claw my skin off. I thought I was crazy until I did some reading on LLL website and found other mother's found nursing two at once distressing also. So I changed the rule to one at a time and it worked so much better for me. Some women can nurse two at the same time just fine, I just happened to be one who can't.

    When we moved to one at a time nursing the rule was baby goes first then it was DS turn. There was some fussing and tears at first but he eventually settled down in this is how it is. We did a lot if talking about how he could eat lots of food but DD could only have milk from mommy. I also read him lots of books and let him watch TV while he waited for his turn. If he forgot about his turn when DD was done I didn't remind him. The only times I offered were at nap time and bedtime. He always got to nurse at those times no matter what. Eventually we moved back to just bedtimes. He was mostly weaned by the time DD was 6ish 7ish months but still nursed occasionally until 8 months.

    Overall I'm glad I tandem nursed but it was hard at times. It did bring up some really negative emotions for myself but I think it really helped DS to feel included after DD got here. My best advice is do what works for you. If something doesn't work change it until it does. The tiny newborn phase is just a few months so if your older child ends up watching more TV than you'd like that's okay it won't be forever.
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