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Husband holding me back....

Sparks in training!Sparks in training! member
in Working Moms

Had my two big supervisors visit me at work from out of state and basically let me know that they would love to promote me for a supervisor position (which would be GREAT) however, know that promotion would require a job relocation to either AZ or Vegas and my DH's job is here in Florida.

 He wanted me to know that he and the president of the company both agree that I would be a perfect fit for this position but know my husband personally and would lose his job in doing so. My DH once worked for my company (its how we met).  My supervisor said to talk to my husband because they are not happy with the current person holding that job and I am the company's first choice for replacement.

Kind of bittersweet. Its nice to know that they want to promote me and im able to grow in my field...but sucks that my husbands position is holding me back. I dont hold ANY ill will towards my husband and do not take offense that he is even considered. I have been with this company over ten years and he was with them seven.

I have a great relationship with my Direct supervisor and am able to do more than most in my position because of my relationship with both the president and supervisor. .....

Just weird to process...not sure how i feel.

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Re: Husband holding me back....

  • SaraTFSaraTF member
    Maybe I missed something here, but why couldn't your husband find a job elsewhere if you decided to relocate?
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  • bullybuttbullybutt member
    Is the compensation worth the move or having your H find a new gig?  Maybe he would be excited for the move/change?  IDK?  Definitely something that needs to be discussed and all the options thrown out on the table. Good luck!

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  • Sparks in training!Sparks in training! member

    DH is a Pilot and it would not have the jobs/pay that he currently has here. We also are homeowners here in Florida....Im sure the pay increase would be nice but would not compensate the cost of moving or pay loss from DH.

    However, being closer to family in California is one of our biggest goals..and cost of living is better in both AZ and Vegas compared to So. Fl.

     

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  • DiveFrogDiveFrog member

    I agree with pp that is something that you should definitely discuss with DH.

    That said, I understand being restricted in your career due to your spouse. DH got a new job about a year ago. He absolutely adores it. He finally found a job where he is doing exactly what he loves to do everyday. His management is fabulous and his commute is great. Plus he has some growth room with this company.

    Prior to him getting this position my job was our  priority. DH would have been on board with relocating anywhere in the US, and open to overseas assignments as well. Now our careers are much more equal and I feel that maintaining the balance that we have found is far more important than the extra money I would get with a promotion.

    It is a difficult situation. Good Luck!

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  • SaraTFSaraTF member
    My husband and I recently moved across the country for his job. It certainly was difficult, but it helped with our long-term goals of being closer to family. If that is a goal for you, along with moving up in your career, maybe you and your husband should discuss the options and how you could make it work. You might also compare cost of living and potential job pay for your husband so that you know what you'd have to get from a promotion (not just salary, but paid moving expenses, bonus, help with selling house, etc.). If you are offered a promotion, you'll be ready to negotiate. If they can't meet your demands, you can decline the offer.
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  • bullybuttbullybutt member
    I would ask your big bosses if relocations expenses would be covered if you were to accept the job.  If you are trying to get closer to family AND get the career opportunity that you have been waiting for..i think that DH should take the wingman position on this and relocate.  Houses can get sold.  Is the position that is needing to be filled ASAP?  If you are in high demand for the position, I think your employeer would be willing to help out with those loose ends. 

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  • kristenndkristennd member
    FWIW, when we moved here for my career, the options for DH seemed very bleak, but he ended up with something far better than he'd have managed in the job market back home. Not in terms of pay, but in terms of responsibility and advanced experience.
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  • KayteeGeeKayteeGee member
    There are actually a lot of flight crews (incl. pilots) based out of Vegas, too...
    You should at least have a conversation...
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  • preggersin2011preggersin2011 member
    It is a decision that the two of you need to make together
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