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NBFR - Potty training issues again. Tantrums.

+just+j++just+j+ member
in Blended Families

DD finally was fully trained a couple of months ago.  We've had some set backs, but that was to be expected.   I kept it positive, all was good and seemed to be improving. It was going really good. I used up the last of the pull ups last week.   This past two weeks however, it's been absolutely miserable.

I had a three day weekend with her. She maybe went on the potty 4 times fine with little or no issues.  Friday she had only one accident at the park, but the whole day while out and about in public and a total of 4 hours in the car, she was great.  Saturday and Sunday, she successfully went on the potty once. Once!  And only one bowel movement - on Friday. 

Monday night she had to go. She was grabbing her butt and upset because she wanted to go, but was scared. I knew she was constipated.  I've been treating her with Miralax since that night to help her out and I'm changing up her diet with more fiber.  She finally went for me when I put her in the tub to relax.  She went in the tub. Holy cow what a load.  I'm just glad she went. 

Ever since this weekend she has been throwing tantrums and acting scared of the potty. I think it might because she's constipated and it hurts, but even just peeing, she gets worked up. And apparently it's just for me. She isn't throwing fits at daycare, but she's holding her pee and refusing to go. She's had one accident a day there, and she always does at night at home.

Tonite, she hadn't gone since 2:30 and she refused to go at 4 at daycare.  I tried every 30 minutes and she threw a complete fit when I asked. Finally I bribed her at 6:30 and she went pee, but not before throwing a holy fit, even with the promise of watching dinosaurs on my ipad.

I held back all my frustration tonite, but it was so hard by Sunday night.

I am at a loss. Maybe I need to ride this out until her stool softens and she's not scared to go anymore, but holy crap the tantrums are frustrating and confusing me.  Maybe it's because she knows I'll back off if she gets furious with me? I tried to be firm and not give in, but when she's crying and screaming bloody murder that she's hiccupping and crying...that's just pushing it too far I think.  We got to that point a couple of times.

XH is no help. He acts like he has absolutely no problems, short of a couple bed wets. 

Any advice?

"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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Re: NBFR - Potty training issues again. Tantrums.

  • CurlieWhirlieCurlieWhirlie member
    I think backsliding in potty training is pretty common! Plus, as kids gain more awareness I think it isn't uncommon to be all of a sudden scared of things they weren't scared of before. My son went through a period of time when he was scared to poop, not because it was hard or hurt, but just because it's a powerful feeling, or because he felt he was flushing something out of his body, and that was scary. Whatever it was, he got over it, but I know how you are feeling. Bribing, coaxing, reminding, and the tears and refusals are very, very wearing. Just remind yourself it's a phase and you will get through it. She won't be holding it in high school. She'll figure it out.
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    CurlieWhirlie said:
     She won't be holding it in high school. She'll figure it out.
    This made me giggle. Thanks for pointing that out.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • IlumineIlumine member
    Can you do a reset?  I have had two GFs whose kids did this.  In both cases they went back to pull ups for at least 3 months (one did more like 4) and did not even MENTION the potty (though they each kept a couple small portable ones in the living room for easy access. 

    For one a, with the son who really just wasnt cognitively ready, her son just started using the small portable potty on his own.  He really just wasnt ready. 

    As for the other, whose daughter was having a power play tied to some irrational fears, Nora waited until she had a 3 day weekend that she could do the blitz.  And she did. Like your baby, Paige would hold it until she was horribly constipated.  It would hurt, thus reinforcing the fear. 

    Nora grabbed the steam cleaner, provided not just high fiber foods, but some child laxitives and over hydrated Paige.  Then she stripped Paige down to her skin and kept at least 3 portable pottys around.  

    SHe then set it up for Paige to feel the poop and pee run down her leg.  THEN it was on the potty every 10 minutes for an hour, so Paige would equate peeing on the potty with NOT having the pee run down her leg.   

    Then she set Paige up again, but going from 10 min intervals to 20 min intervals.  That way Paige would feel the pee/poop at least once to reinforce the NEED for the potty. 

    It was a long, boring, intense, icky weekend.  

    But in the end, Paige made it.  
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    I decided this morning when she pooped her pants and peed on my area rug again - that I think I'm just going to throw out when I move - that it's time I go buy another box of pull ups, take a step back, take a deep breath and sort of start over again.

    She also wet her bed last night too. 

    She's holding both.  She goes better for my provider, but she is holding it at her house too.  And DD is really resisting me.  I don't know if I'll get her to sit every ten like Paige when she is throwing a holy caniption and refuses to even sit.

    XH has her this weekend. Let's see how well he and the girlfriend do.  Then Labor Day weekend, I'll see if can't help her re-train.

    At this rate, it feels like it won't be until high school, but I'm sure it will get better.

    Thanks ladies!

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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