Annoyed

KMB611 · August 2013

Is it necessary for people to make a woman feel bad if she chooses to give her baby formula over breast milk? I know everyone has their own opinions and views on the subject but some women are unable to breastfeed due to the inability to produce milk or due to medications they may be on which are used to treat conditions such as multiple sclerosis. If a woman chooses not to breastfeed, does that make her a terrible mother?

davis0905 · August 2013

It annoys me too. I chose to BF for both my kids but did switch over to formula at 3.5 months for DD. I have several friends who have chosen to FF or have needed to due to medical reasons. Their kids are healthy, strong, and bright. BFing is challenging, both physically and emotionally. It's also wonderful. In a perfect world, all moms would BF but it doesn't come easy for most of us. All that being said, I would always encourage new moms to give BFing a try while in the hospital, right after birth, for that immediate bonding experience.

momintraining2013 · August 2013

I think that some people just like to criticize other people's parenting and it says way more about them than it says about you. Our job as a mom is to make sure our kids are loved, safe and nourished. You can accomplish that in a number of ways, don't let them make you feel like you're a terrible mother!

NebF · August 2013

I don't think it's okay to make a mother feel bad for doing what she thinks is best for her baby. We breastfeed, but at this point I'm just like, "Feed your baby!" I don't care if boob or bottle.

CaliforniaDream87 · August 2013

Uh...no.

strawny0807 · August 2013

I got annoyed with people asking me if I was breastfeeding or formula feeding so my response became, "Does it matter? DD is getting all the nutrition that she needs." End of discussion.

You're feeding your child exactly what he/she needs, that's all that matters.

Kissimi21 · August 2013

Don't let it bother you. One of the LC's at the hospital tried to guilt trip me for both BF and FF my boys. I gave her my best bitch face and said, "I rather feed my babies formula and have happy, full babies than starve them for someone else's ideals."

My milk didn't come in for two weeks with DS1 and it still isn't enough to fully satisfy both boys now. Should a good mother let her children starve?

BrideMay2005 · August 2013

I BF and get people telling me I should FF. Everyone's got their opinions. The easiest thing is to let it roll off your back and do what's right for you and your LO.

PrimRoseMama · August 2013

I'm so sick of this. Feed your kid. I don't give a flying fuck what. FF vs. BF is bullshit. I have done both. Does that mean I'm awesome or that I suck? Fuck it all!

trudibell · August 2013

I wrestle with this a lot. I had a breast reduction surgery when I was 15, which changed my life for the better, but now means that I am physically unable to produce enough milk for my son. Feedings have been a huge challenge - I nurse him, then bottle feed, then pump to get as much as I can. I only make about 20% of his food, the rest is formula. The whole routine ends up taking an hour start to finish and part of me REALLY wants to just switch to formula, but I feel so selfish! All the reasons for switching to formula only are for me - basically I'll have more time to do things and this makes me feel really guilty. It's not ok for anyone to be judgmental of another person's parenting when that person is doing they best they can for their child. If we didn't give him formula he would have starved.

pearlsonthebeach · August 2013

trudibell said:

I wrestle with this a lot. I had a breast reduction surgery when I was 15, which changed my life for the better, but now means that I am physically unable to produce enough milk for my son. Feedings have been a huge challenge - I nurse him, then bottle feed, then pump to get as much as I can. I only make about 20% of his food, the rest is formula. The whole routine ends up taking an hour start to finish and part of me REALLY wants to just switch to formula, but I feel so selfish! All the reasons for switching to formula only are for me - basically I'll have more time to do things and this makes me feel really guilty. It's not ok for anyone to be judgmental of another person's parenting when that person is doing they best they can for their child. If we didn't give him formula he would have starved.

i've read this quote a lot on here, but it doesn't make it any less true. "don't confuse breastfeeding with mothering."

@trudibell, if your reasons for switching to eff mean you have more time to do things, that doesn't make you selfish in the least. in order to be a good mommy you need to be able to take care of your baby AND yourself. happy mommy=happy baby. do what is best for your family, and don't let anyone tell you that it's selfish.

i ebf, and try to pump occasionally, but i HATE doing it. i give major props to mom that are EPers, and to you for going this far trying to pump extra for your LO. but when it eats up your entire day, you are more than entitled to weigh the pros and cons and make a decision based on what makes your life better as a mom.

hokiemel7 · August 2013

I EP'd with my first for 7 months due to latch issues. I hated every moment of it and spent most days crying and depressed because I couldn't just pick up and leave. Now with DD2 were going to try BF (using formula right now until milk comes in) and if it doesn't work just going right to formula. People can judge but I don't care, I'm feeding my child. And above all your happiness matters bc kids pick up on your feelings. I'd much rather them see me happy than stressed!

SusanTeach · August 2013

I never got engorged and don't produce more than 1 ounce after pumping both breasts. I supplemented with formula on the lactation consultant's advice. My boy now is mostly FF at 6 weeks. He is making great progress with weight and doc says he's healthy. I cried for the first 3 weeks and was fully into BF 30 minutes eac boob, pumping for 30 minutes, then washing everything and supplementing with a Similac ready-to-feed bottle. I barely slept. Never left the house. Now, he is thriving on mostly formula, and seems happy. I am more worried about other stuff, like that induction/ autism link study. Worry over FF is over!

PrimRoseMama · August 2013

@MrsArrow : I'm just curious why you flagged my post? Nothing in it was a violation of TOU?

mslmk11 · August 2013

You're not a horrible mom for choosing to/needing to FF your LO, and it bugs me too when people make it their mission to make you feel like you're doing something wrong. Each person and baby has different needs for their family and who are other people to pass judgment on others for doing what their families need.

Nicb13 said:

I don't understand why people care so much what other moms do...how they feed, if they sleep trained or whether or not they've circumcised their child. Who gives a rats ass?

Also this. Why should I have any interest or right to give any type of input on how you're caring for your baby? I don't give opinions on how to feed your toddler, or husband, or how to be a good wife. It is interesting that people (and I admit I fall prey to this sometimes) think that babies are free range to give advice to parents/mothers on as if they are the most knowledgeable person in the world - (small rant, but I just realized how much that does bug me)

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

PrimRoseMama said:
I'm so sick of this. Feed your kid. I don't give a flying fuck what. FF vs. BF is bullshit. I have done both. Does that mean I'm awesome or that I suck? Fuck it all!

@MrsArrow : please remove your flag. Nothing I posted was a violation of TOS. The flag button is not a dislike button. You can reverse your flag by loving my post. Repeat abuse of the flag feature can get you banned, FYI.

mrsnorthernbell · September 2013

I ff my first because I had no idea what I was doing. My second I am bf and really struggled at the beginning. I was 5 weeks in and was still miserable. One night in bed my husband just said, it doesn't matter how we feed him, it's how we raise him. That one sentence made me feel so much better and it's totally true. Do what's best for your family

Http://northernbellemama.blogspot.com

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