Am I the only one

Littlejen22 · August 2013

Whose kids eat crappy? I often see people on here whose kids eat crappy with the other parent. Well I will admit my kids with DH are picky eaters and eat out too much. They love fruit and probably eat veggies monthly. Practically everyone I know IRL have the same eating problems with their kids whether they cook nightly or not.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

My kids were pretty picky for a long time. The only reason they eat well now is because I stopped giving into their demands. It sounds harsh, but there were several times when the kids "went to bed hungry" because they refused to so much as try the food I cooked. It was a struggle for a long time, I'm not going to lie. There were lots of times when I caved in and let them eat what they wanted because I felt so guilty about "starving" them. Once I got tired of cooking meals for me and DH, and then separate stuff for the kids I finally put my foot down and told them to suck it up and try new things.

ambrvan · August 2013

My rule is that if I cook something that is remotely kid friendly, they must try it, even if it is on the side of something like chicken nuggets. That is simply a courtesy to the cook. But no, I am realistic when it comes to my kids eating and the likelihood that I will be cooking something that is what so many Bumpies consider unhealthy.

The reality is that we don't get home until about 6 on week nights. Unless I have prepared a crock pot meal the night before or have a casserole frozen (I try to make two when I make a casserole), then it is often chicken nuggets, spaghetti, ravioli, our peanut butter sandwiches. Often there is a side of fruit and/or vegetables with whatever it is.

But the reality is that we only have about 2.5 hours after we get home to get fed, get homework done, get bathed, and get to bed. We always have much better dinners on the weekends.

The kids are picky about a few things, and we avoid those because they eat enough fruits and vegetables that they like to not worry over the others.

Our food battles in the past were over SD not eating things that I knew she liked or had eaten before because of MIL's interference. A typical spoiled brat battle is what it was. Yes, I said it. But we have moved past that.

The kids have variety and eat healthy snacks and for the most part make healthy choices when given the option. So I am satisfied.

+just+j+ · August 2013

I'm lucky. DD naturally loves healthy foods and milk. But then there are days she just wants pancakes and PB&J. I don't keep junk food in the house. I have a little, but for the most part, I keep all the junk out and then there is no temptation on either our part.

My brother and sister in law have junk food in the house and their girls are starting to show a little weight. One really is. They drink soda and kool aid. I give DD milk. She rarely asks for juices, and I don't keep juice boxes in the fridge. If she gets juice it's real fruit juice. Soda is rare occasion only, and again, I don't keep it in the house.

Ilumine · August 2013

I do not play picky eater games.

All of the studies have shown that it can take UP TO 20 tastes (not tip of the tongue but chewed and swallowed bites) for a child to "like" a new flavor/texture/food.

So unless you PARENT through the pickiness, your children will never LEARN that they like or truly dislike something. That is a parenting fail in my mind.

Not to mention, these are children, not the adults. And as such, they do not get to dictate which battles the ADULT picks and chooses. You can and should offer kids choices and control in their lives, but food (especially being healthy) is not one of them.

Now, I will give SS and DD the ability to truly dislike something. SS loathes eggs in all forms. I will never make a quiche or fritata when he is home. DD does not like spicy foods, so I will cool down her foods or take out her serving before I add the spice. But do not plan my weekly menu around the kids.

And DD has gone to bed hungry or had to eat reheated dinner if she gets hungry later (she tried to use that trick - eat the bare minimum then come back 30 min later really really hungry).

Now, do I cook healthy meals? Not all of the time. But everything is from scratch using organic products, just organic cream and organic cheese.

KendraL86 · August 2013

At our house, the kids eat what I cook or they don't eat at all. SD's are 14 and 18, so they are perfectly capable of helping with meal planning and preparation. I do ask what they like and what they don't, but if they don't speak up, it's on them. I make a full menu for the week and leave it in th kitchen so they can see it. We have well balanced, organic meals that include all the food groups.

At BM's house, they eat like crap. There is rarely a family meal. Most of their food at BM's house is frozen pizza, frozen burritos, corn dogs, hot dogs, fast food...it's gross. And we've had pushback because we don't allow certain "foods" (like PopTarts or Hot Pockets) in our house. SD 18 has special needs and I know the low-quality, low-nutritional don't help her control her behavior. She has frequent meltdowns at BM house, but has never had one with us.

+just+j+ · August 2013

Oh, and by the way...I am a firm believer that you don't have to cook for children. They can eat what you eat and you can make fancier dinners and food. LIke Illumine - if it's spicy, you can adjust it to suit their tastebuds, but I cook some fancier meals for DD and I and she eats it up.

Ilumine · August 2013

I just realized I added another Mommy Wars subject to my list of judgements.

1) Immunizations - do it or you should be legally liable for any fall out.

2) If your kid physically affects my child and you do not do something about it, I will.

3) Food Wars are poor parenting.

Wow.....

Littlejen22 · August 2013

I will admit I let my kids have more junk than they should and tend to cook for the kids and eat out too much. At the same time they have only tried ginger ale and that was because DS pukes easy and people recommended it. At home they only drink water and milk with occasional juice. They eat tons of fruit. I get Greek yogurt for them and DS' snack at school usually consisted of fruit, Greek yogurt and cheese and whole grain crackers. They prefer rye bread over white. They eat a variety of foods when we go out and we rarely ate Western food when we were in Hong Kong. But they still get too much Mac n cheese, chicken nuggets and pizza and tortellini. Don't get me wrong it is not daily but it is often. This year when DS is in full day school I will make sure he has a breakfast with a lot of protein like eggs or a fruit smoothie or whole grain waffles with peanut butter and his lunches will be healthy. Dinner will still be varied meals I make mixed in with kid stuff. DS used to love fish and shrimp and no longer does but they like ground beef chicken and turkey.

SimpleJane · August 2013

KendraL86 said:

At our house, the kids eat what I cook or they don't eat at all.

Us too. I do make things more often if I know they like it and it's healthy. We don't eat all organic or anything, and we have pizza night or pasta night quite a bit, but I make sure everything is balanced and they are eating veggies often. I try to focus on buying REAL food for snacks (cheese, apples and PB, bananas, cut up cucumbers with ranch) so they don't really have an opportunity to eat a lot of processed crap during the day. What you buy and keep in the house is ultimately what they will end up eating if hungry.

Since we generally eat balanced I don't beat myself up about the occasional Happy Meal during T-ball season or the pizza I grab on my way home a couple times a month because I'm tired.

Ilumine · August 2013

But your menu does not sound BAD. It might not be crazy adventurous (though eating foods in Hong Kong is pretty darn adventeruous to me) but it has open their palate to more adventerous foods for the future.

Its when a kid will ONLY eat a handful of meals and all within the same ethnicity and never home made, that you have a problem in the future.

A kid who eats rye over wheat will not turn up his/her nose at brown rice or bulgar or couscous because they don't see brown as bad.

SimpleJane · August 2013

Littlejen22 said:

I will admit I let my kids have more junk than they should and tend to cook for the kids and eat out too much. At the same time they have only tried ginger ale and that was because DS pukes easy and people recommended it. At home they only drink water and milk with occasional juice. They eat tons of fruit. I get Greek yogurt for them and DS' snack at school usually consisted of fruit, Greek yogurt and cheese and whole grain crackers. They prefer rye bread over white. They eat a variety of foods when we go out and we rarely ate Western food when we were in Hong Kong. But they still get too much Mac n cheese, chicken nuggets and pizza and tortellini. Don't get me wrong it is not daily but it is often. This year when DS is in full day school I will make sure he has a breakfast with a lot of protein like eggs or a fruit smoothie or whole grain waffles with peanut butter and his lunches will be healthy. Dinner will still be varied meals I make mixed in with kid stuff. DS used to love fish and shrimp and no longer does but they like ground beef chicken and turkey.

That really doesn't sound terrible. It sounds typical for a busy family with a mother who's TRYING to feed everyone as conveniently healthfully as she can, and it sounds like you definitely know where you could squeeze in little improvements.

+just+j+ · August 2013

OMG Jen, you should not sweat this. You are way ahead of many parents. Sounds like you need to just work on it a little rather than change their entire diet.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

Does it count that DD will eat any Mac n cheese and not just Kraft, lol. And she eats vodka sauce on pasta! Ok, I have to get off here because we just pulled up for pizza at 7:30 at night and yes I am serious.

ambrvan · August 2013

Ilumine said:
I do not play picky eater games.

All of the studies have shown that it can take UP TO 20 tastes (not tip of the tongue but chewed and swallowed bites) for a child to "like" a new flavor/texture/food.

So unless you PARENT through the pickiness, your children will never LEARN that they like or truly dislike something. That is a parenting fail in my mind.

Not to mention, these are children, not the adults. And as such, they do not get to dictate which battles the ADULT picks and chooses. You can and should offer kids choices and control in their lives, but food (especially being healthy) is not one of them.

Now, I will give SS and DD the ability to truly dislike something. SS loathes eggs in all forms. I will never make a quiche or fritata when he is home. DD does not like spicy foods, so I will cool down her foods or take out her serving before I add the spice. But do not plan my weekly menu around the kids.

And DD has gone to bed hungry or had to eat reheated dinner if she gets hungry later (she tried to use that trick - eat the bare minimum then come back 30 min later really really hungry).

Now, do I cook healthy meals? Not all of the time. But everything is from scratch using organic products, just organic cream and organic cheese.

That's what I meant about the kids having to try everything. I put a certain amount on their plate, even if it isn't there main option and they must eat all of it.

And if I have made something and they do not eat it, I do not fix them something else. DH used to argue with me til we were both blue in the face about this. He thought a tongue taste was fine and if they didn't like it we should fix them something else. Once I put him in charge of meals for SD, he realized she was playing him and that it didn't feel good to be your child's servant and he quickly fixed things.

Now if they do not eat their dinner, they don't eat but we save it for them to eat later if they are hungry. But there really are certain things that the kids do not like. For instance, SD doesn't like carrots but she will eat broccoli so we don't push her to eat carrots.

MommyEllenSue · August 2013

I am really lucky my kids are great eaters! SD will eat pretty much anything and everything except avocados. SS is more picky but still not what I would call bad. We really don't have issues getting them to eat, never have. This is actually one issue we don't have with BM she doesn't give them a lot of junk food either. However she is a horrible cook and they do complain about her cooking. I am actually the picky eater in our house.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

MommyEllenSue said:
I am really lucky my kids are great eaters! SD will eat pretty much anything and everything except avocados. SS is more picky but still not what I would call bad. We really don't have issues getting them to eat, never have. This is actually one issue we don't have with BM she doesn't give them a lot of junk food either. However she is a horrible cook and they do complain about her cooking. I am actually the picky eater in our house.

This is probably our issue. I was picky as a kid. I are what my Mom made but she also cooked from scratch what I would eat and her and Dad liked bland food. DH grew up in England and Hong Kong and eats almost anything. Now I am more adventurous but still have strong preferences and do not cook exotic at all. My goal is to cook more when DS is in school full time and DD part time and I have more time plan. And yes that is me being a spoiled brat.

Pamelacake · August 2013

I was just lurking and wanted to chime in, I think a lot of busy working mothers can chalk it up to not having enough time. I know when I was working there were some nights that my son was treated to pizza and a movie on a school night. I was very lucky with him though. He has always loved veggies and fruits.

I like to make things from scratch and I love to cook in general. I have to admit, over the summer I let them have whatever but there was always healthy vegetables and fruits to go along with whatever. We don't eat out a lot but I am still having this issue with 5yo SD. She will not touch a vegetable. She will eat peas if they are covered in cheese so I guess that's an ok thing for now.

SD refuses to eat a home cooked meal though. I always have to make sides to go along with the meal that she will eat so she will have something. If it's not a pop tart, baked sweets or a mcdonald's cheeseburger, she really wants nothing to do with it. She does love eggs so I make those for her a lot and I have recently found that she loves cottage cheese so I will be sure to keep that in the house. THe boys on the other hand, will all come in and eat and if there are any leftovers the oldest puts them up so he can have them after school the next day.

Now that she is in school, she will have to try new things or not eat. I'm hoping this will help some. They always have an after school snack and this week it was applesauce bc I didn't want it to go bad.

6yo SD used to be the same but when she saw me eating something healthy, she always wanted to try it. She now eats pretty healthy. She still likes the junk too but not nearly as often.

Ilumine · August 2013

I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE proponent of freezer meals. They may not be fancy but you can get a variety of flavors and ease.

I will get a bulk package of chicken breasts. Then put three breasts into a freezer zip-lock bag with a marinade - sometimes its just a bottle of salad dressings or sometimes I will make my own (DD cannot have honey some dressings/BBQ sauces need to be homemade) - and then close the bag taking all of the air out, and then put that bad into another freezer ziplock (I hate freezer burn). I write down the flavor and date and am done with it.

I will grab the bag in the am and throw it into the fridge on my way out the door in the morning. It will be defrosted when I get home. Bake the chicken and then I cook rice and a veggie and BAM I am done.

Again, not crazy pretty, but very easy. and before DD, I would even pull together some crockpot meals to put into the freezer. I would cut up the veggies, add the seasonings, and write down what other ingriedents (ie, soup or stock) on the bag and then make sure I had that can marked so I dont mistakenly use it.

I have a new crockpot on my christmas wish list. Its a William Sonoma one. The inside can heat up to SEAR meat, then cool down to slow cook. That's right people a true ONE POT machine. That is one of the reasons why crockpot meals tend to taste the same...unless you pre-cook the meat. Which to ME defeats the purpose.

Of course I also LOVE to make casseroles. But instead of using the 9x12 pan, I get the small, throw away ones and cut the recipe in half. I cook ONE and then freeze the other for another day. Given there are just 3 adults and one 4 yo. That is all we really need. Because a full casserole that serves 8 will end up as leftovers.

AlwaysForgetful · August 2013

My kids eat crappy meals sometimes, but rarely. My eldest is Autistic and I know that many tend to prefer certain foods and will end up narrowing what they will and will not eat. A lot has to do with texture and how the food looks. I refuse to let this happen! I have a 32lb 6 year old. So yes, every calorie is important. We have worked through a lot of food issues. Also he is a lot more sensitive to chemicals in most foods. Taking us off many processed foods has meant a decrease in daily meltdowns.

#2 (I have 4 kids right now) has severe acid reflux and most likely ADHD. School says ADHD and I am not surprised since I have been diagnosed with it. He can be a handful, but we work on ways to help him focus and that works. To me, ADHD meds are a last resort. So our diet has changed to keep out red dye and other foods that can either help make ADHD worse or cause problems with his acid reflux.

Back to are they picky eaters, yes. I have 2 who are picky eaters. Rule is though, you eat what you are given. There will always be a crunchy item with meals because sensory wise, I know it means C will eat better. I normally go with carrots (no dip or he will only eat dip) or apples. Sometimes I have homemade potato chips or other items. I do accommodate C and K (#2) to an extent of C does not like tomato sauce on his pasta. K cannot have a lot of tomato based items. Also there is a texture contrast with potato skins and potatoes. So I will separate C's potatoes, but he eats the skin still.

If they do not eat dinner, then they get to wait till snack time. Sometimes they get their dinner plate if they have not eaten well. Yes, they have gone to bed hungry. That is their own doing though.

This pregnancy I have been ill a lot. So I spend a few hours every weekend (or every other.... sometimes once a month if I am feeling good enough) and I make a whole bunch of freezer meals. If I am not feeling well I can put a complete meal into the oven or crock pot and stay away come the "convenient" foods.

Before me, DH use to only do quick meals. He did crock pot meals 4 times a week because with his own acid reflux, he would need to come home from work and eat ASAP because bed time was in 2 hours.

I am getting ready to make 2 months worth of freezer meals and "convenient" foods. for our family after this baby is born. I know I will have PPD and spinal headaches that turn into months of migraines. You can actually make healthy fries, chicken nuggets and so on for your family, freeze them, and then bake them later.

hopanka · August 2013

I messed with the GFCF diet in the past....and it did one awesome thing for me....my son learned how to eat veggies (raw or cooked). He LOVES salad with meals and it's the one thing he will absolutely finish every time, so I know he has some good nutrition in him every day...

The rest - I've let go quite a bit. He tends to go for sweets and snacks (not unusual for ASD kids), but at least that also means that he loves sweet fruit (strawberries, mangos, apples, oranges...). Which he eats daily.

We also struggle with not gaining enough weight, like PP's child....so, that's my excuse for giving him the occassional chocolate milk in his snack box (organic, though....LOL!)

We are busy, so I've given up on being guilty of take-out. I'm not the best cook in the world, nor do I like the kitchen duties too much - so there's that. When my mom was visiting, she asked me where I had such and such pot or pan....and I had no idea. She knew better, so after a minute she goes: "Never mind, I'll find it myself."

agibby · August 2013

We have a rule at our house becuase with 4 kids with all diff tastes, supper time was getting stressful. Plus, it bugs my DH to no end to see food wasted or to hear "I don't like this" before the kids even sit down to eat.

Our rule is that you have to at least try everything. If you don't like it, you can make a peanut butter sandwich. BUT, you don't get any dessert unless you eat a full serving of what we are having for supper.

Now, if it's something they obviously despise (my 11 year old HATES tomatoes), I'm not going to make him choke those down. I don't care if he picks out the big tomato chunks from sauce. I don't care if my other 2 pick out whatever from the main meal, as long as it doesn't get ridiculous.

My mom would make us kids eat things we did not, and never did, like. Like chicken livers. She'd make them over and over, and each time I would gag, but she still made me eat it.

I vowed never, ever to do that to my kids. Ever!

Plus, my 11 year old has some issues with textures and sights of foods so this is what works for us.

And since we put that rule in place, and stick to it, supper time is a much, much happier event

sweetie0228 · August 2013

I have a pescetarian (think vegetarian that will allow fish) and my son has austism and will only eat "clean" food that doesn't touch. Years of no casseroles, gravy or butter, salads were allowable but no salad dressing. Sandwiches...lol he's 13 and has only just started to eat them.

I provide a dinner, if you don't like it you can make anything you want as long as you clean up after yourself.

It's not poor parenting on my part we have had no thank you bites for a long time. Some battles are not worth the power struggle.

Sometimes laziness on their part wins out, and they will just eat what I make if they dont' want to make something for themselves. ** I've supported my DD's animal rights stance she is provided frozen shrimp/fish and boca type options** Her only rule is she must always include a protien and can't just live on carbs alone.

+just+j+ · August 2013

Some of my cousins were picky eaters as kids. At dinner parties we never made "kid food". Eventually they came around. They eat all kinds of foods now as adults.

Most of the time they'd just eat bread and very simple foods we were serving, but they were asked to try a taste of what they were protesting eating. They never starved and probably are healthier eaters now than others who weren't picky.

One cousin, all she ate was pop tarts well past college. It was a joke in our family. I kept telling her how crappy food that was, and for someone who was picky, if she knew how those were made, she'd never eat them again. Apparently she checked into it. She doesn't eat them now. At one family get together, I cooked a dinner of pasta and she had some and loved it. She's been eating "normal" ever since. We were all thrilled. We still talk and joke about the pasta dish that changed Cousin J's eating habits forever.

grumbledore · August 2013

I don't play games with food. I make one meal and everyone eats it. If DD truly hates something, I take it into consideration when planning future meals, but that's pretty much just spicy food (separate hers before adding the spicy stuff or saving the really spicy choices for when she is with her dad). I let her take the onions off of her salad but she has to eat the rest. She chose her own salad dressing at the store, so she eats that and that's fine, we all have our own.

I used to allow her just butter on her pasta because she didn't like sauce, but we're over that now.

riabiron · August 2013

we instituted the "no thank you" bites rule and it has done wonders for the food wars in our house.

we try to feed the kids healthy. some days are better then others.

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