Should I be questioning my Dr. ?

Mytaras · August 2013

Hi ladies! So as you all know I had some issues a few weeks ago with leaking fluid. I was put on bedrest and had to see a OB along with my midwife due to being higher risk. Im off bedrest now. Pre pregnant I was 150 and now I'm 173. So I gained 23 pounds.

My midwife said that's on target (I'm 5'9) but my Dr. Today says this... 'Wow that is way too much weight for 27 weeks. You need to maintain that weight for the next 13 weeks, If you gain anymore it would be unhealthy. Bedrest is no excuse to pack on all those pounds.' Then he told me to walk an hour a day and completely cut out sugar.

I'm horrified for my next appointment! I feel like if I gain more weight he is going to scold me. I feel like shit! How come him and my midwife are on such different pages

Any suggestions on what to do or think?

JaysonandKristin · August 2013

You, in no way, need to accept that opinion as the end all, be all of your healthcare advice. You should talk to your OB about the discrepancy between their opinions.
If it's possible to get them both in the same place at the same time to discuss your current situation, your history and any moves going forward I think that would be all the better.

dobrydney · August 2013

I definitely think I'd try to talk to them, and agree with PP about the same time and same place. You're pretty tall and weight seems pretty subjective as long as everything else is going okay. I started out over weight and didn't gain anything until my last appointment I had gained 5 pounds--but my Dr. had explained to me in advance that it was okay and that it would probably happen that way. Definitely have a chat with them!

JamieCallow · August 2013

I say if your midwife is saying it is fine then I wouldn't be too concerned with the doctor...I am in nearly the same boat as far as weight gain and my doctor has not said a word about it...You do not have to answer to him and if you feel comfortable with it and the gain isn't outrageous then go with and try and find a new doctor:)

desiree1988 · August 2013

If you think you can lose the weight after I wouldn't fret too much. I've known ppl to put on 40 pounds while pregnant. Being on bed rest would make it hard to not put pounds on. I try not to look at the numbers when I go see my doctor. I also have talked to other pregnant women who say they put the weight on in second tri. If it were me? I wouldn't worry about it, just eat healthy.

wendy2613 · August 2013

That is rude for him to say it that way to you. I would let him know that your mid-wife said you are doing just fine. Also if you just got off bed rest how would it be a good idea to walk an hour a day?!?!

I would listen to your midwife and take what the Dr. says with a grain of salt. Sounds to me that your weight gain is just fine. Everyone gains differently durring pregnancy. As long as your not going crazy on junk food I would think your fine.

GL

Chelli78 · August 2013

You are totally on target! Your OB sounds a bit ridiculous at the moment (no offense please). "Average" is 3lbs/mth (25-35lbs total). Now, that's just an average, that most healthcare providers use as a guideline (for normal pre-prego weight). So, I'm very shocked by his orders. Unless you gained this weight within a very short time (something more medical could be going on), you shouldn't worry! Of course, eating healthy and exercise is always good (really goes without saying).

Mytaras · August 2013

Thanks so much for all your input. I will definitely be following your advice!

Mytaras · August 2013

I was shocked too! But he seems so stern about it. It makes me feel better that you guys agree he might be making a bigger deal about it.

Chelli78 · August 2013

Mytaras said:
I was shocked too! But he seems so stern about it. It makes me feel better that you guys agree he might be making a bigger deal about it.

I'm in the medical field and work in OB/NICU, I totally agree that you are doing just fine! I can't get over the fact that he gave you a hard time after being on bed rest!! LJGS1010 made a good point about the fact that he is ordering you to exercise that much after leaking etc.

Sorry you are dealing with more stress

katie.725 · August 2013

Tell him to grow a child and push one out... then he can be judgy about it... not til then though

barista411 · August 2013

What?!? That is crazy. You are totally on target for weight gain. I would be concerned that he told you to walk an hour a day with just coming off bed rest.

inlove0509 · August 2013

Oh my gosh, my heart is so heavy for you! I'm sorry he said this to you; what a horrendous thing to say and way to say it. Walk an hour a day after being on bedrest? And not to gain ANY weight in the last tri when Baby gains so much weight? This doesn't even sound possible. I'd get another OB's opinion about your weight, and you already know what your midwife's opinion is. I applaud you for questioning this OB's advice-- his statements don't sound fact based at all.

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Zilly13 · August 2013

I'm pegging it on the fact he's a man. The ONLY weight comment I got during the entire pregnancy with DD was from one of the male doctors. Unless you are binging daily, I wouldn't worry about it. And walking for an hour a day sounds extreme for someone who had been hospitalized with leaking fluids...

Mytaras · August 2013

You guys honestly have made me feel so much better. I ha it in my head that he is the Dr. And questioning him isn't my place but after hearing your situations I am going to get another OB's opinion and probably change. Thanks for making me feel so much better today.

Ninjamama86 · August 2013

In the perfect work, sure we should all gain 25 lbs and walk out of the hospital in our pre-maternity jeans. But hey - some people only gain 10, some people gain 70. Weight is just a number, the focus is on the problems and symptoms - if the baby is too big, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, decreased activity due to weight gain, etc are problems related to weight gain that should lead you to change your habits, but if you and babe are good I wouldn't worry about it.

As someone who works in healthcare, we always have to push patients in the right direction telling them what they should do in that perfect world, as unrealistic as it is 99.9% of the time. I'm only up 12 lbs and my doctor still made sure to tell me to watch what I eat because its really easy to blow up in the 3rd trimester.

rbtrumpet · August 2013

How DARE you not walk an hour a day while on bedrest?!? You're just being lazy....

8-|

I agree with your midwife. 23 really doesn't seem like that much. I mean, unless you gained like 10 lbs in the last few weeks, then I could *maybe* see some room for concern (although not everyone gains evenly, so even that might not be too bad!). I have plenty of friends, even ones who are TINY before/after pregnancy who have gained 40-50lbs while pregnant (and lost it all).

krm112013 · August 2013

I'm sorry that he said that to you so rudely. Personally, I think that amount of weight sounds on track and just fine - based on what my doc has told me so far about weight gain and pregnancy. It's impossible for you NOT to gain anymore weight when the baby does the majority of its weight gain in the third trimester. That just seems like a very extreme request on his part. I agree that an hour of day of walking with just being pulled off bed rest seems like too much. Weight varies so much during pregnancy, time of day, amount of fluid your retaining, etc. There are a lot of factors you don't have any control over either such as your boobs - you can't stop them from growing.

Doctor or not, he addressed your weight in a total ass hat manner.

mmm50 · August 2013

The other thing you could do that might make him happy is to keep a food journal. My MW wasn't concerned that I wasn't gaining weight until about 24 weeks, but the OB in her practice (whom I had an appt with once) was super concerned about it. I keep a food journal most days now so they can see that I'm eating enough and the right things--- it just took me a while to actually gain weight and I've been right on track since about 20 weeks.

In my experience some OBs care too much about the scale/rate of gain than they should. Many midwives I've talked to are more concerned with eating properly and maintaining a safe level of activity. A food journal may help to show him that you're eating healthy and not a ton of junk or extra calories and if you keep track of light activity (with your MW's approval) like walking 20-30 mins a day, that might help him to see that you're not being irresponsible with your weight gain.

Hope he pulls his head out of his butt!

babymama619 · August 2013

I think you're exactly on target!! Wtf?? You definitely should not be maintaining for the rest of your pregnancy. Maybe talk with your midwife and have her call him if they have a working relationship, or else ignore that bigger of advice.

I'd also be concerned about you walking 1 hour a day. When I go for a leisurely walk I start cramping within 10 minutes. Not sure if its Braxton hicks or what, but I imagine that wouldn't be good for you. I would not be happy with this doc at all!

Also, isn't normal weight gain 25-35 lbs for the pregnancy? So if you gain the 1 lb per week recommended at this pint you'd be at 36 lbs for the whole shebang. Sounds just about right to me!

Lindsayloring1 · August 2013

LJGS1010 said:
Pre-pregnancy I was 155, now I'm 175 (almost 28 weeks). I'm only 5'3. Both my OB and my midwife say I'm right on track and doing great. I'd give that OB of yours a big old kick in the nuts, ESPECIALLY for telling you to walk an hour a day after having a fluid leak.

Couldn't agree more! My first thought was WTF?!? I just can't believe he would have you do that after the leaking situation. I will kick him in the nuts for you if you want!! :-)

rbtrumpet · August 2013

babymama619 said:

I'd also be concerned about you walking 1 hour a day. When I go for a leisurely walk I start cramping within 10 minutes. Not sure if its Braxton hicks or what, but I imagine that wouldn't be good for you.

this is exactly what I was thinking - I'm OK on elliptical or bike and doing yoga, but if I walk for more than 20 min, I start to cramp, so I've been avoiding walking too much (and I haven't even had any complications!!).

Almost every I know says walking is the best way to bring on labor, when you want it :-p

Jmo30 · August 2013

I was 150 before and now 180 at 30 weeks. My Dr. Hasn't said anything about worrying about my weight. Much of this I attribute to water retention and not "weight" so this s why she explained not to worry about the number on the scale. Of course if I double that gain by delivery being only 10 weeks left I'm sure she'd say something but right now she was I'm fine.

Kfran84 · August 2013

I would die if I had to walk an hour a day.

I'm also 5'9", 28 weeks and up 20lbs at my appt today. My doc doesn't give a flip at all. I expect to put on a pound a week for the next 11 weeks and with the more frequent visits I am sure this will be easy to monitor.

So, yes, I think your doc is crazy for chastising you over 23 lbs!

The baby needs to gain 4 or 5 more lbs... Where is that magically supposed to come from?

ETA BTW I was just thinking how cute you are and tiny your arms are in your HDBD pic. So I'm extra surprised at all this nonsense from him or her

Maimes10 · August 2013

At my hospital, I see all the different Dr's. I've seen a total of 5 of them. No one said a word about my weight gain until my appt at 24 weeks. I had gained a total of 17lbs and the Dr I saw gave me a smack down telling me that was on the high side. I have my next appt on Friday and am seeing yet another Dr so I'll check in and ask if I'm on track. My guess is I'm at close to 20 now. Everyone is different so everyones weight gain will be different. If you don't have any signs of GD and baby is healthy and you are comfortable, take the weight gain smack down with a grain of salt. Tell the Dr to shove a watermelon up his uretha and see how much he gains!

CarrieB. · August 2013

As a side note, with my last pregnancy I noticed that my weight gain pretty much stopped towards the middle to end of the third tri anyway. I think your weight so far sounds really normal.

inlove0509 · August 2013

His comment still really bothers me. I commented yesterday about it but I realized another reason why I'm agitated by it.

He seems like the type doc who will expect your labor to be "textbook" and too defined. So if you are not progressing a centimeter an hour or whatever or within 24 hours total, then he'd freak out and send you straight to c section even though LO is fine.

I'm so glad to hear you are getting another opinion!

Mytaras · August 2013

inlove0509 said:
His comment still really bothers me. I commented yesterday about it but I realized another reason why I'm agitated by it.

He seems like the type doc who will expect your labor to be "textbook" and too defined. So if you are not progressing a centimeter an hour or whatever or within 24 hours total, then he'd freak out and send you straight to c section even though LO is fine.

I'm so glad to hear you are getting another opinion!

Omg that's so true. Very good point! I didnt even think of that! I called yesterday and another OB said that is ridiculous and I'm go into be seeing another one in the practice. The original OB called me and said he is sorry if the truth makes me uncomfortable and wished me luck. Wow. Lol.

kimmycup · August 2013

That's a horrible thing to say! I'm 5'3 and weigh 156 right now. My dr. has no problem with my weight.

gdom872 · August 2013

Mytaras said:
You guys honestly have made me feel so much better. I ha it in my head that he is the Dr. And questioning him isn't my place but after hearing your situations I am going to get another OB's opinion and probably change. Thanks for making me feel so much better today.

Again I'm Guna pull the nurse card. I'm not an ob nurse but regardless I deal with patients all week. It is your job to question him. Just because he wears a white coat doesn't mean he's king of all pregnant women. Patients have rights and you have the right to ask him anything you want. I agree with everyone else that your weight gain sounds normal and you definitely should not be walking an hour a day. I wish you luck!!

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