Emily Post

Jen4033 · August 2013

With recent questions arising about baby showers (like can a MIL or sister host?) I went to google to see what etiquette sources are saying these days.

I was shocked to see that the Emily Post website says having a baby shower for a 2nd or 3rd child is perfectly acceptable, but typically should only include immidiate family & close friends. Guests who did not attend a prior baby shower are acceptable to invite as well. (I'm paraphrasing here.)

I know the consensus around TB is the exact opposite. You should never have more than one, unless circumstances are special like a huge gap between children, etc. (Which I usually agree with & am not going to have one - even if offered to me. I'd rather have a baby meeting afterwards.)

This made me wonder. Emily Post has always been a name I have heard as being the foremost expert for all things etiquette. Would you say she doesn't have that high of a standing in the etiquette world as she used to? Maybe just too commercialized now? Thoughts?

ETA: edited for a couple spelling typos

MrsGraham06 · August 2013

I would say Emily Post has always been more knowledgable than myself on most etiquette, it seems to come down to personal preference for baby showers.

She isn't saying it's expected that you have a baby shower for 2nd and 3rd children, just that it's acceptable (based on your paragraph- I did not check the info for myself).

SunflowersBride · August 2013

I saw this somewhere recently as well. I disagree, and I live in an area where no one has showers for subsequent children, but if you want to get together with close friends and family then whatever. People will likely give you gifts when they meet the baby anyway, so I don't understand the need for a second, third, etc. shower. Also, I'm a Miss Manners gal myself

Jen4033 · August 2013

MrsGraham06 said:

I would say Emily Post has always been more knowledgable than myself on most etiquette, it seems to come down to personal preference for baby showers.

She isn't saying it's expected that you have a baby shower for 2nd and 3rd children, just that it's acceptable (based on your paragraph- I did not check the info for myself).

Her words (or the hired writer's words) are "it's fine." I read that as "acceptable." This is the C/P from her website under the baby Shower FAQs section:

Encore Baby Showers:
Is it proper to give a baby shower for a second baby? Some say that baby showers should only be given for the first born.

It's fine to have a baby shower for a second or third baby. Immediate family and very close friends are usually included, but otherwise choose guests who did not attend a shower for a previous child.

sugarland726 · August 2013

I dislike reading that greatly and I disagree with Emily. She may say that, but it doesn't change my mind about second showers.

Deblondie1 · August 2013

Emily Post isn't Emily Post anymore, she died a few years ago. Yes, I think the advice is too commercialized now.

peanutmuse · August 2013

sugarland726 said:

I dislike reading that greatly and I disagree with Emily. She may say that, but it doesn't change my mind about second showers.

I agree. What I've tried to stress in the past few questions about etiquette is that it evolves as societal norms evolve. Change isn't always good, though. This is one area where I adamantly disagree with Emily Post.

Jen4033 · August 2013

Deblondie1 said:

Emily Post isn't Emily Post anymore, she died a few years ago. Yes, I think the advice is too commercialized now.

This is exactly what I was thinking. A bunch of writers working under the penname of Emily Post. I'll bet she rolls over when she reads some things being put out under her name.

peanutmuse · August 2013

Deblondie1 said:

Emily Post isn't Emily Post anymore, she died a few years ago. Yes, I think the advice is too commercialized now.

She actually died in 1960. Her family writes her books.

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