Brother-In-Laws Dog

iambethy · August 2013

My BIL has a 3 year old Golden Retriever. He is very excitable and jumps up on people. The issue is that we have many family get togethers and he brings his dog. He recently hosted a party at his house and his dog jumped on 2 childeren, knocking them both over. Thankfully no one was hurt.

My problem is all of my in laws think my husband and i are crazy because we do not want our daughter exposed to the dog. Recently my husband and his brother got into an arguement asking him to keep his dog closer to him. We decided to leave. The sad thing is my MIL and FIL side with my BIL. My daughter is just starting to walk and the last thing i want is my daughter to get knocked over by this beast in his attempts to hump her.

It has gotten so bad that we are thinking of not inviting all of them to her up-coming birthday party.

iambethy · August 2013

I grew up with dogs and never had a problem with them. I love animals. However this dog jumped up on me at 30 weeks pregnant, no one seemed to care. And a dog that knocks over children in an attempt to hump them is ridiculus. Why am I the bad guy wanting to protect my child from THIS dog? Has no one heard that most dog attacks on children are usually by a family or friends dog?

iambethy · August 2013

But what I see are they are putting this dog and my BIL feelings before my daughter. I have had another neice bitten by a dog when she was 4. She is 11 now and terrified by dogs no matter their size.

And when I say I am an animal lover, I am a member of PETA.

melody921 · August 2013

When you're hosting a party, I'd just tell BIL that the dog is not welcome. When you're elsewhere with family and he has the dog, maybe ask him to restrain the dog so your LO can get used to him without being mauled.

brittany&dain · August 2013

Do you really think that he would bring his dog to your daughters first birthday party? If so that's a little weird, I would just maybe have your husband mention that he would appreciate it if he not bring his dog since there will be a lot of action and kids around

brittany&dain · August 2013

We also have a large German shepherd who is great with ds but when we host his first birthday our dog will be at doggy day camp since there will be far too much action and kids around. When we go to our in laws they have a small beagle that is wild and jumps us and he actually jumped on ds when he was sleeping when he was 3 months and we asked to have the dog kept outside or closely monitored by their side and they respected it. I am an animal lover and we have a large dog that we trust but I also understand not feeling uncomfortable. Our dog loves kids but we will not be having him at the party for the risk that he may jump up on kids or knock them down on accident

hcbrowne · August 2013

You sound a little overly excitable. I'm sure you are just feeling protective over your daughter but you do come across as sounding as if you strongly dislike dogs in general. I think the right thing to do would be to politely ask your BIL to leave the dog at home for the party. Yes it is ok to consider his feelings about his dog, why wouldn't it be? It isn't about his feelings over your daughters or anyone else. Everyone has feelings. I have a feeling you will just create more drama if you don't remain polite and calm over this issue. Good luck!

Akokogriff25 · August 2013

I am the same way with my IL's dogs. Don't let everyone put you down for feeling this way. I am NOT a dog lover but I can tolerate them. I just hate when they jump which sounds like what your dealing with. There is nothing wrong with how you are reacting or feeling towards them.

I usually make sure the dogs stay away especially when they are hyper but when they are calm (or half asleep) I bring my LO up to them so she can get used to them and vice versa.

As for the party- just tell your BIL not to bring the dog. It's YOUR party that YOU are hosting for YOUR child. I have done that many times and have had no problems. Hope you have the same luck!

BeachBabe22 · August 2013

My SIL bought a pit bull off of Craigslist. Yeah, what a great idea that was. She lied to her parents about how she got the dog but I saw the Craigslist ad that her boyfriend linked to his Facebook page. The dog is huge and out of control. My dog is deathly afraid of it and so am I. I told my husband that we will not bring our daughter to SIL's house and don't want her around the dog. SIL is the kind of person who brings her dog everywhere she goes. When we visit my MIL's house they chain the dog outside because our daughter is there.

I'm sorry your IL's are dumb and siding with a dog. I love dogs but I always worry about my daughter being around other people's dogs and not knowing how they will act around her. I would invite BIL to the party but make sure he knows the dog isn't welcome.

nicolerae90 · August 2013

I see your frustration, but not inviting the in-laws is a little drastic. I had a golden retriever and they are loyal dogs and a little on the hyper side. He isnt humping to be a perv either its a territorial thing and he doesnt just target the younger ones. My friend has a golden who is really hyper and when I bring my DS around, I hold DS when the dog comes around and let the dog sniff ds out and let ds pet him. They are good with children. Remember he is still at a puppy age and when kids get wired up, he will too. Just like children, he doesnt quite know better yet. Im sure youre child will hit at him because your child wont know be nice to the dog

spinsoffresonance · August 2013

I can understand where you're coming from. I love dogs. My friends have the most chill beagle ever and we have them over with the dog all the time to get DD used to dogs. My MIL is moving next month to be closer to DD, she lives in a different state now and we bought her a house here. We're planning on spending every weekend at the house with her. She wants to get a dog since her old dog died last year. Well she's disabled can barely walk and there's no way she would be taking the dog on daily walks. We told her she can't have a dog until she gets herself in good enough shape to provide enough walking and exercise to the dog so that the dog doesn't go insane. There's no way we would be bringing DD to her house all the time with a hyper dog.

So what I'm trying to say is watch your LO and the dog closely at family gatherings. You have to invite your family to the birthday party just tell your BIL he can't bring the dog. If he shows up with the dog anyways, I would send him home

LMB1231 · August 2013

I imagine that maybe you are a little hypersensitive about the subject because you feel like your wishes are being ignored. I totally get that. My IL's constantly bugs us about why we don't allow our dog to "play" with our daughter more. She can't walk yet and our dog will get right in her face is why we don't do it. We both want her to like dogs and just feel like right now she can't hold her own with one and want to gradually introduce her so that she doesn't have a bad experience too early and learns to hate dogs. No dog at the birthday party and just tell him that you want your LO to love all animals but you don't feel like now is the right time for that and you don't want to spoil that experience for the future. They need to respect your wishes. If I was in their house and they didn't contain the dog's contact with your LO I would leave but I wouldn't tell them not to come to the party.

Jennifer Anne · August 2013

I would be up front and ask that they don't bring the dog. My inlaws have a dog, and I was trying to be laid back about him being around my DD, because this dog is also very excitable. And for the record, I do like dogs. I didn't want to offend my inlaws, because they really love their dog. But I wish now that I hadn't been so laid back about it, because the dog did bite DD. (Dog was just walking by her, everyone was there, it was so sudden.) Ever since then she's been terrified of dogs. She's only 2 and a half so hopefully that will change. I try to talk very positively about dogs so that she isn't afraid. But anyway, this dog was not one to bite, and they would always say that he's harmless, etc. But you just never know. It's not a matter of being someone who does or doesn't like dogs, and people are so quick to jump all over you if you don't want a dog around your child, but it has nothing to do with that. It's the safety of your child, and if you're not comfortable with it, then just be up front about it, while being kind and respectful.

MuddyInsignia · August 2013

I am sure you are frustrated--but we have a mixed breed dog that is much bigger than a golden and, yes, she knocks the baby over sometimes, but she has never hurt her. The baby loves being around dogs since she is growing up with one around all the time. The dog can only learn how to act around the baby with time and experience. If you are anxious with your child being around a dog, your child will reflect that anxiety and become afraid of dogs. I would recommend you meet up with your BIL in a more calm and less crowded environment with the dog and introduce the baby and the dog in a safe, supervised way--let them get to know each other. It will be good for all of you!

About the birthday party--I am not sure I understand why you would not invite the BIL because of his dog unless the dog is invited...

sschwege · August 2013

To be quite honest it sounds like you are trying to punish your ILs by not inviting them to your daughter's birthday party. Perhaps I am wrong, but regardless this is the way it will be perceived, end of story.

Make it clear the dog is not invited and leave it at that. For the record I am a dog lover and this is the first time in the last 20 years I have not had at least one dog, sometimes as many as three. I run a home-daycare and have had to make it clear to my MIL and brother that dogs are not welcome while I am caring for other children. I know they both think I am overreacting and have implied as much, but I don't care. So truly I get why you don't want the dog at the birthday party, but even entertaining the idea of not inviting your ILs is mean and don't think for one second it will not come back to haunt you. It's safe to assume they love your daughter and your child can't be loved by too many people, it's as simple as that!

MrsLele · August 2013

I don't think it's asking too much for BIL to control his dog! I would be upset too, if I were you! And I am a dog lover, check out the beast in my sig!

But he's a good boy and doesn't jump on children, bc I've trained him that way!

notti426 · August 2013

I totally understand why you feel the way you do. Don't listen to those who say you are over-reacting, Yes, it's a dog, but golden's are very big and very strong. It is totally your right to tell your BIL that his dog isn't invited, it's a party for your baby and you don't want to have to be a referee. It's not right that the dog knocked down the kids while trying to hump them and the fact that your ILs totally downplay that and do not respect your feelings is not right. My aunt has 2 goldens and she often has get togethers at her house. She keeps them locked in her room until most people have left because they can be a little wild with people over. I am totally a dog lover, am actually in the process of trying to adopt one from a rescue right now. But it's all about TRAINING and making them act appropriately around people. He needs to be more responsible with his dog. I would invite HIM but NOT his dog. Your hubby can relay that message to him. :-)

CurlyQ284 · September 2013

If it were me, I would tell them the dog isn't invited. I would also get one of those stakes in the ground with the lead on it so if they are rude and bring the dog anyway you can say "oh, Fido is here! Let's go take him to his leash". Problem solved without a big argument.

snoopy4283 · September 2013

My baby and my dog are the best of friends. Studies show that there are many benefits to exposing young children to dogs. I understand your fear about your baby getting knocked over but they learn and the dog will learn too.

You can't protect your baby from everything and it will be worse when your daughter hasn't been exposed to animals and freaks out when there is a dog around...

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