WWYD?

NotSharknado · August 2013

I may be getting ahead of myself here but Hospice told us yesterday that Dh's dad may only have 2 weeks before he passes.

My head is spinning on what to do with the kids. I will bring Dom to wake/funeral but what about Sophia?

Would you take your toddler? What's the protocol?

NotSharknado · August 2013

I'm thinking along with MrsSkull. Maybe bring her to the wake since most funeral homes have a refreshment room. I just think going to both would be a lot to ask of a toddler.

Thanks guys.

Duffgurl · August 2013

Shan first off I am so sorry. I must have missed a post. Sending our T&P's with you and your family. ::big hugs::

JaysonandKristin · August 2013

I will say that everyone was really upset that I didn't bring the boys to my aunt's house the morning my grandmother died. I brought them to her 'celebration of life' as she didn't want a funeral. It was REALLY difficult for me. The boys just wanted to entertain themselves but we weren't in a kid friendly place. I had to chase them, correct them, distract and redirect them the entire time.
I left early and as soon as the boys fell asleep I broke down crying. That was supposed to be my opportunity to remember my grandmother and I got to do nothing of the sort. I still regret taking them. Jay was taking his GMAT, so I was on my own for the event. With it being your FIL I assume it will be similar for you since DH will probably be very distracted.

NotSharknado · August 2013

That's what I'm trying to figure out, if I can bring my sister with me(she would visit anyway) and maybe even have her take Sophia home.

I feel like I should bring her to part of it like @Lalamama81 suggested.

@JasonandKristin, that's what I'm afraid of. I want to be able to be there for Dh 100% and I can't if I'm chasing a 2yo.

ladybugpjb · August 2013

I think it depends on your family and the child, and also on how you and your H grieve.

My family would want me to bring the kids, and I would probably want them there to distract me from crying in public. DH would probably want them there, too, just for something to talk about besides feelings/sadness/death. That's just how we are.

I'm really sorry - T&Ps for you and your family.

NotSharknado · August 2013

Thanks guys. And CrashIntoMe1, you are too kind.

I think I made up mind and I will take her to the wake and not the funeral.

Again, thanks for the support.

MandiNewMommy · August 2013

T&P to you and your family! I am going to ditto what everyone else said. If you could have someone go with you that is what I would do.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · August 2013

I am really sorry Shan

I took the girls to my friend's mom's funeral this winter. I did spend the better part of my time finding ways to keep them quiet, but they really didn't bother anyone - but me. Had it been for a close family member, I would have wanted to really be able to listen to it all, so I vote you try and find someone to occupy Sophia during the funeral.
::hugs::

NotSharknado · August 2013

Thanks guys, Dh is certainly not himself. He doesn't believe the hospice nurse so I think he's in denial. These nurses are in this buisness for reason. But I'm letting him cope the way he chooses. Ugh, this sucks.

NotSharknado · August 2013

EmpireMomof3 said:
I personally wouldn't take a toddler unless it was their parent or sibling that passed.

Many hugs to you and your family during this time.

Thank you.

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