Baby Showers

Can you help me let this go? SIL issues.

I had a beautiful shower two weeks ago. I am lucky, blessed and humbled by the generousity of everyone who attended. There is just one thing that I can't get over...

My sister-in-law! Here is why:

1.) Never RSVP'd
2.) Didn't show up
3.) My young nieces, as a result, were not there either.
4.) Told my father in law she was not invited...which is untrue!
5.) Sent an envelope of cash, although I think my mother-in-law may have done it on their behalf.
6.) She hasn't even reached out since I have announced my pregnancy (I'm 36 weeks).

I am having a hard time with this and I am looking for advice to get over it. I love my three nieces and miss them. (This all stems from an argument on Thanksgiving when my SIL slapped my 16 year old niece across the face and then she ran away and was missing for 6 hours. My SIL was angry at my husband and I for wanting to go search for her...we really haven't spoken since. Of course, we have still acknowledged our nieces on holidays and birthdays)

I am just so freakn' mad! Advice please.

Re: Can you help me let this go? SIL issues.

  • It sounds like she is done with you guys.  It is sad and disappointing but judging from her behavior, it isf or the best.  Do what you can to reach out to your nieces, but I wouldn't count on SIL getting in touch. 
  • It sounds like she is done with you guys.  It is sad and disappointing but judging from her behavior, it isf or the best.  Do what you can to reach out to your nieces, but I wouldn't count on SIL getting in touch. 

    Agreed
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  • Meery82 said:
    It sounds like she is done with you guys.  It is sad and disappointing but judging from her behavior, it isf or the best.  Do what you can to reach out to your nieces, but I wouldn't count on SIL getting in touch. 

    Agreed
    I agree times two! 

    It's a sad situation, but just remember that you can only control your end of the situation and not how your SIL is acting or what she and her husband choose to do. Do your best to keep in touch with your nieces as much as you can, but I would work on letting go and moving on from your SIL.  

    I also have a semi-rough relationship with 1 out of 3 of my SIL's so I know how hard this can be.  
    Me: 30 Him: 33
    Married: August 2012
    BFP #1 9/2013 -- MC 10/2013
    DD: 9/22/2014
           
  • It sounds like she is done with you guys.  It is sad and disappointing but judging from her behavior, it isf or the best.  Do what you can to reach out to your nieces, but I wouldn't count on SIL getting in touch. 

    Pretty much this.  The fact is she is your neice's mom and as long as she doesn't really want to have a relationship with you, it's going to affect your relationship w/ the girls too.  Honestly, I'd just back off and not expect anything more from her.  Do what you can to stay in touch w/ her girls, but you have to accept that will be limited.

    You had a nice shower.  Don't give her so much power to have this negative memory hanging over it. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • It sounds like she is done with you guys.  It is sad and disappointing but judging from her behavior, it isf or the best.  Do what you can to reach out to your nieces, but I wouldn't count on SIL getting in touch. 

    Pretty much this.  The fact is she is your neice's mom and as long as she doesn't really want to have a relationship with you, it's going to affect your relationship w/ the girls too.  Honestly, I'd just back off and not expect anything more from her.  Do what you can to stay in touch w/ her girls, but you have to accept that will be limited.

    You had a nice shower.  Don't give her so much power to have this negative memory hanging over it. 

    Well said.
  • By the way, sounds like your SIL thrives on the drama.  If you try to say anything to her or anyone else, she will be thrilled because then she has new 'material' to add to her drama filled life.  Proceed as if none of this ever happened.  Hard I know, but with people like that, you just can't win.  
  • I don't want to be "that guy" on the internet, but slapping a kid full across the face is abuse, and the fact that it happened in front of you is alarming--if she'll slap her child in front of you, what is she doing when no one is watching?  I am concerned for the welfare of the children.  You know the situation, but calling CPS shouldn't be dismissed out of hand.  Besides, they never actually remove kids for long unless the abuse is horrendous. 
  • Thank you all for this well thought out advice. It seems as though you all pretty much in agreement and I need to find a way to let this go to the point where I don't put any real energy thinking about it. I refuse to let it ruin anything...anymore. Thanks guys.

    As for the abuse comment, I agree with you. Although I did not call CPS, I did attempt to address it with SIL. I agree it is disgusting behavior. This is the kind of person she is....very sad.
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