Facebook group?

wedbliss5 · August 2013

@SunflowersBride - regarding "regulars" - I don't know how to define it, especially without leaving out people who are less active here. I just sort of put that out as one way to try and reduce the crazies. And I agree you can get creepers everywhere, I think its just easier here since its all out in the open.

KimberlyTX · August 2013

@katie-lynn3313 You changed your siggy! I was confused for a second there

@SunflowersBride I'm not sure how the admins of our FB group initially decided who could join, but after a while, it became a voucher thing. They'd ask if someone recognized a TB name, and see what the FB members' reaction was. I don't think it was about post count as much as it was about people who posted enough to get a feeling that they weren't a troll or anything.

PreDempsey · August 2013

You guys are missing out on all the pictures of my dog on facebook.. Just sayin'..

Mommasay0 · August 2013

I would say start the FB group when the first baby is born. I love the FB group for nov 12. We are all still very active but we set a date I think about 30 days after it opened when the group became closed to new members which also kept out the creepers. We could also be required to give the admins our bump name upon request to join the group so we can check to be sure no creepers are admitted.

Seaaggie18 · August 2013

My fb group for ds was created when we were about 6 months pregnant... There are over 100 members, we have lost maybe a handful, but most are active every day. I don't like tb app. I feel like its hard to get to know anyone by a username and I would be a lot more active in a fb group.

aprilbridezilla19 · August 2013

Seaaggie18 said:
My fb group for ds was created when we were about 6 months pregnant... There are over 100 members, we have lost maybe a handful, but most are active every day. I don't like tb app. I feel like its hard to get to know anyone by a username and I would be a lot more active in a fb group.

This is how I feel. I'm mobile bumping which sucks and takes forever. So I post here and there. We started my last bmb fb group around this time. It's easier to post things and pictures and its easy to kick people off. Im much more active on fb than here just because of convenience with a LO running around.

sugarland726 · August 2013

When we do decide to migrate, we need to discuss a plan on defining who comes in and out. I know from the July 2010 FB group there are many very active posters (and wonderful people) who admit they were low posters or lurkers on The Bump. But we posted an open link on the board to FB and they joined. I couldn't imagine the group without them. I don't want to sell anyone short, but I also don't want the crazies. I think we'll need a tight control through the admins of the first 30 or so days when we do head over.

Mommasay0 · August 2013

BuckeyeANG said:
For those of you who are in current FB groups, how many members do you have? And of the total, how many would you estimate are active?

My Nov 12 group has 232 members, about 75% or so are active, and 50% post daily or at least weekly. I'm not against a FB group but I do think we should wait at least another month or 2. I feel like FB groups are a lot more personal and we really get to know each other and recognize each others babies and family. I think our group has been pretty tame so far so I'm thinking we could probably start FB in the next couple months.

Piach · August 2013

My Jan11 FB group has around 200 members and we are really close. There was a meetup last weekend in Chicago and about 30 members attended. I couldn't go, but the updates & pictures from them were awesome. They are truly a support group. When I had my lost, it was amazing the amount of support I had.

One of the things I loved about my FB group (which formed in the third trimester) was that the FB format was technially so much easier and it was great during the middle of the night feedings to "chat" with the other mommies.

aprilbridezilla19 · August 2013

My BMB fb group was closed for new adds after awhile. But even the people who seemed normal on the bump were crazy too. But it's easier to vote them off the fb island than a public bump board.

glitzandglitter · August 2013

The FB group I'm in started at a little over 180 and is now at like 140. We have some posters who post more often than others but I'd say it's a pretty active group.
While I do love the FB group, it did cause our BMB to really slow down.

lmills730 · August 2013

I like the idea of a FB group eventually too. I'm a FTM so don't have any experience with baby groups in the past but I am a part of a group through the blogging community and the 10 of us have become super close through the group. I mobile bump a lot too and the format really sucks for TB.

moosebaby2011 · August 2013

I didn't join either FB group for my previous BMB (Dec 11). I just felt kind of weird about it since I didn't post that often, but I was on TB frequently enough that I was really disappointed when so many people migrated.

I'll probably join one this time around, but not for a while.

ChuggingWater · August 2013

I'm on a bump spin off... well technically back after hiatus. It is a group of women that had posted together for five years prior to migrating to fb. We lost some people in the move because they didn't want to lose their anonymity. We have lost some due to inactivity. Most recently, there was a great divide due to drama that wouldn't have probably occurred if we were still on TB.

I have said it before and I will say it again--- Some of you can't even begin yo imagine the backlash and interference I have seen occur in real life due to drama on TB.

ccip82 · August 2013

moosebaby2011 said:

I didn't join either FB group for my previous BMB (Dec 11). I just felt kind of weird about it since I didn't post that often, but I was on TB frequently enough that I was really disappointed when so many people migrated.

I'll probably join one this time around, but not for a while.

I loved this because you said you would join a FB. I would have loved to have you in the Dec FB group!

ccip82 · August 2013

Just out of curiosity, what type of crazies/drama are we talking about? (You do not have to go into particulars). I'm more curious to know if people lied about having babies or something really crazy like that.

cyndilouwho77 · August 2013

I run several private FB groups....I like they they are kept private and its an easy way to communicate with everyone and everyone feels safe to post things to each other. My most active one is my Girl Scout page....we can all post pics of events without the pics getting out to the world. I also think that FB is easier to navigate from a mobile device and I agree that everyone would become a closer group once that move was made. The lurkers on TB kinda freak me out...esp when you get a post with 1.3K viewing and maybe only 5 people commenting. I am not sure though how you would keep a lurker off of the page...if they ask to be put on how do you say no? Waiting awhile longer might weed out some of them but I think we all dont see how many lurkers there really are...eeek!

moosebaby2011 · August 2013

ccip82 said:

moosebaby2011 said:

I didn't join either FB group for my previous BMB (Dec 11). I just felt kind of weird about it since I didn't post that often, but I was on TB frequently enough that I was really disappointed when so many people migrated.

I'll probably join one this time around, but not for a while.

I loved this because you said you would join a FB. I would have loved to have you in the Dec FB group!

Aw! Thanks :-)

PreDempsey · August 2013

I also support this not happening until at least mid third tri.. More time to weed out crazies but it might be easier to get started before LO's are here and a good way to keep up on who's in labor and what not.

aprilbridezilla19 · August 2013

ccip82 said:
Just out of curiosity, what type of crazies/drama are we talking about? (You do not have to go into particulars). I'm more curious to know if people lied about having babies or something really crazy like that.

Eh people not participating in exchanges they signed up for. Lying about their situations with their SOs. Usually it's caught easily.

ChuggingWater · August 2013

ccip82 said:
Just out of curiosity, what type of crazies/drama are we talking about? (You do not have to go into particulars). I'm more curious to know if people lied about having babies or something really crazy like that.

Yes. I can think of at least two, one of those claiming that her toddler was going through chemo. I can think of a third that had numerous inconsistencies with special needs she was claiming her child had and then when questioned POOF. She disappeared

Winnieella · August 2013

sarahlm619 said:

We had some drama in our initial FB group -- it was at about 100 people until after we got married -- it dwindled -- but not by much. Then -- it did split off into two different groups because of drama (some women wanted to talk about babies -- others thought it was annoying...it just split up from there.) I was never involved in the drama much -- but the group I belong to has 43 members now.

One of the ladies is on this board too -- I'm such an airhead when I see her post -- multiple times I thought "wow -- I saw that picture on fb too" -- then think "duh dumb a$$ of course you did!" haha

@sarahlm619- As I was reading this, I was thinking wow, this sounds a lot like the June 12 brides FB group. Then I realized it was, and started laughing out loud. I like our newer (broken off) group of 43 ladies.

SunflowersBride · August 2013

cyndilouwho77 said:

I run several private FB groups....I like they they are kept private and its an easy way to communicate with everyone and everyone feels safe to post things to each other. My most active one is my Girl Scout page....we can all post pics of events without the pics getting out to the world. I also think that FB is easier to navigate from a mobile device and I agree that everyone would become a closer group once that move was made. The lurkers on TB kinda freak me out...esp when you get a post with 1.3K viewing and maybe only 5 people commenting. I am not sure though how you would keep a lurker off of the page...if they ask to be put on how do you say no? Waiting awhile longer might weed out some of them but I think we all dont see how many lurkers there really are...eeek!

Why does it matter if people lurk on TB? I lurked for a long time before joining the TTGP board, because I wanted to make sure it felt right for me before jumping in. I'm guessing there are probably people who lurk because they like reading but maybe feel uncomfortable posting or don't want to put a lot of info out there. In that case, it's kind of a Catch 22 with the FB page if they don't have a lot of posts on TB and people don't recognize them.

mommahags · August 2013

All of this I never come on here because its such a PITA. My FB BMB rules, and I really wish you guys were more open to a FB group right now.

aprilbridezilla19 said:

My fb group for ds was created when we were about 6 months pregnant... There are over 100 members, we have lost maybe a handful, but most are active every day. I don't like tb app. I feel like its hard to get to know anyone by a username and I would be a lot more active in a fb group.
This is how I feel. I'm mobile bumping which sucks and takes forever. So I post here and there. We started my last bmb fb group around this time. It's easier to post things and pictures and its easy to kick people off. Im much more active on fb than here just because of convenience with a LO running around.

SunflowersBride · August 2013

Just as a follow-up, I guess the reason I am going against the general consensus here is that I was on a message board that I loved for several years, and then for various reasons a bunch of the "regulars" decided to leave and start their own board. I found it annoying and never really felt welcomed on the new board, but the old board became a shell of it's former self until it was eventually shut down.

Also, I know on TB local boards, I tried to check out the DC board, but apparently they had issues here too and just post a PSA directing people to leave that board to go to their other board. I just find that irritating.

Winnieella · August 2013

I think if we are going to do a FB group, we should wait a while longer. I just feel that it is too soon and we haven't even had any real crazies come out of the woodwork yet. I would feel safer joining a FB group after the crazies are weeded out.

jamiecal · August 2013

I would love to share more and get closer to all of you, but I hold back quite a bit on TB because of privacy. I was skeptical of even posting a pic of my dog, for crying out loud! If it was a group on FB, I would feel like I could better limit what kind of info I was sharing.

No offense to you ladies, but I really don't trust most people on the internet with knowing a lot about me. I'm not typically paranoid, but when it comes to personal info and my baby is involved, I don't need to share much with strangers. For all I know, you're all 50 year old predators waiting for the chance to pounce, lol. (See? That protective instinct really can't be contained right now!) I get that FB could have predators too, but I feel like it's much more transparent once you're in a private group.

I do enjoy hearing your UO's though, so I'm not going anywhere. Just don't expect me to comment on a post about personal details!

MissRdotS · August 2013

I would prefer to stay here - I feel I can be more open and honest, bc I don't have to worry about someone on my friend's list seeing my "Recent Activity" on Fb. I'm not a huge FB person to begin with, and much prefer TB.

aessary03 · August 2013

MissRdotS said:
I would prefer to stay here - I feel I can be more open and honest, bc I don't have to worry about someone on my friend's list seeing my "Recent Activity" on Fb. I'm not a huge FB person to begin with, and much prefer TB.

When you set the group to private, your activity in the group doesn't show up on your news feed.

katie-lynn3313 · August 2013

what aessary said.

I may be the odd one but I don't see how your info is at anymore risk other than your first name. I know a lot of friends who just have the first and middle name on facebook so no last name is listed and if your security settings are high no one can see anything about you. You could also create another fb account too.

I almost think there is more risk being on the local buy/sell/swap pages in your area.

BUT

that is just my thoughts.

nikki_rose7 · August 2013

I am totally on board with the Facebook group. But agree, maybe wait a bit for the odd ones to fall off here.

kilbs · August 2013

Piach said:

My Jan11 FB group has around 200 members and we are really close. There was a meetup last weekend in Chicago and about 30 members attended. I couldn't go, but the updates & pictures from them were awesome. They are truly a support group. When I had my lost, it was amazing the amount of support I had.
One of the things I loved about my FB group (which formed in the third trimester) was that the FB format was technially so much easier and it was great during the middle of the night feedings to "chat" with the other mommies.

Hi! I was just going to say our Jan '11 group sounds big compared to what others have said with 200 members. I agree our group has gotten super close, although I don't post on either board as often as others. I agree it is easier on FB, but it's still too early.

SweetPeaKate · August 2013

My BMB with DS (Jan12) had huge discussions and arguments over FB groups. I forget when they attempted to start them, but it was a disaster. They closed the group with only a small portion of TB posters joining and then whoever was left had to start another one or deal with very few postings if any here on TB. People stopped posting here because they either posted on FB or felt like they had been left behind. I never joined in because I wasn't ready plus DS was born at 30 weeks and I didn't feel like I really belonged because I wasn't pregnant anymore and no one could share feelings or answer questions for me.

mommahags · August 2013

I'm on the original j12 FB group & I love it! We did have a couple crazies, but the group as a whole has been so awesome. And there were almost 200 of us, so I'd say that's more than a small portion We gave people plenty of time to join, but some didn't want to and later made their own group.
I'm sorry you didn't feel like anyone could relate-it seems like there were a lot of preemies on our board. I'm sure we all would have loved to hear from you

SweetPeaKate said:

My BMB with DS (Jan12) had huge discussions and arguments over FB groups. I forget when they attempted to start them, but it was a disaster. They closed the group with only a small portion of TB posters joining and then whoever was left had to start another one or deal with very few postings if any here on TB. People stopped posting here because they either posted on FB or felt like they had been left behind. I never joined in because I wasn't ready plus DS was born at 30 weeks and I didn't feel like I really belonged because I wasn't pregnant anymore and no one could share feelings or answer questions for me.

Lena122 · August 2013

Personally I wouldn't join a FB group until several months after our babies are born. There are still way too many new people and infrequent posters on this board to figure out who is or could be a real regular. On the 2/12 TB board we were still getting new members well after the babies were born.

HullGut · August 2013

I am up for a Facebook group. I think we should start it at least before the babies are born. My November 12 board really helped me get through the loss of my son. They have given me so much support and comfort. I'm so glad I was able to get to know the, during my pregnancy so I had them to help me get through just a tragedy. I also don't feel comfortable being open and honest on the bump because its so public.

sugarland726 · August 2013

cyndilouwho77 said:

I am not sure though how you would keep a lurker off of the page...if they ask to be put on how do you say no?

Not to be a smart ass, but you just say no. I'm not at all concerned about hurting someone's feelings compared with guarding the privacy of the members of the group. I say that as an admin of a FB group. Those girls trust me to not let anyone in without discussing it first. I take that seriously. We will just need to establish ground rules when the FB group is opened, and have some admins who are extremely present and watching the group very closely for the first few weeks.

aprilbridezilla19 · August 2013

mommahags said:

I'm on the original j12 FB group & I love it! We did have a couple crazies, but the group as a whole has been so awesome. And there were almost 200 of us, so I'd say that's more than a small portion We gave people plenty of time to join, but some didn't want to and later made their own group.
I'm sorry you didn't feel like anyone could relate-it seems like there were a lot of preemies on our board. I'm sure we all would have loved to hear from you

SweetPeaKate said:

My BMB with DS (Jan12) had huge discussions and arguments over FB groups. I forget when they attempted to start them, but it was a disaster. They closed the group with only a small portion of TB posters joining and then whoever was left had to start another one or deal with very few postings if any here on TB. People stopped posting here because they either posted on FB or felt like they had been left behind. I never joined in because I wasn't ready plus DS was born at 30 weeks and I didn't feel like I really belonged because I wasn't pregnant anymore and no one could share feelings or answer questions for me.

I'm part of the original group too. And it was close to 200. By the time we decided to close it was because the group had really meshed and shared a lot and it was a couple months later. I remember a lot of time that people could join too so it wasn't open for only a day or week. I know that it was formed in August/September because I joined after I failed my 1 hour glucose test.

hopeful808 · August 2013

I'm interested in one starting later, but I feel I would be left out due to inactivity. I've had the most time I will ever have this summer because I teach and didn't do summer school. But once school starts I'm very limited to time I can be on the bump. Plus, I don't like adding replies if my point or thought has already been made.

sugarland726 · August 2013

Oh and I'd also like to suggest the possibility that we don't even need to switch to FB. While the white screen is still awful here, posting is significantly easier and with the addition of a love it button, it's more similar to FB. The lurker issue would not be fixed though.

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