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I'm being ridiculous right? Longish

JMC11511JMC11511 member
in Stay at Home Moms
Ok so let me say off the bat that I'm pretty sure I'm being silly. And I'm hoping I don't get flamed too badly...

We live behind DH's cousin and her family. She and DH are more like brother and sister really. DH was raised by his Grandma, but his Aunt and Uncle (cousins parents) were a big part of his upbringing as well. Cousin has two boys, 6 and 3. DS is 21 months and LOVES being around them. We have dinner with cousin, husband, and kids once a week. And DH and I go watch shows with cousin and husband a couple nights a week. Anyway, my stupid issue is this.

DH's Aunt and Uncle stop by cousin's house several times a week after work. Sometimes it's just to say hi, sometimes they go out and do something. We are rarely invited to go with them, and they never come see us/DS. We literally live directly behind them. There is a gate in our backyard connecting the two yards to each other. I get that DS is their great nephew but I kinda feel sad because he only really has one set of grandparents. DH's Mom is a former drug addict and mentally ill and he does not know his Dad. I guess I just wish that it even crossed their mind to include us or just stop in and say hi. For example, the past few weeks, DH's Aunt has taken a random day off and taken cousin and boys out for the day to go shopping, go to lunch, bowling whatever. Granted, DS can't do an entire day out. But we have all gone bowling once before and L loved using the little kiddie ramp to push his ball down the lane. I would love to take him to have lunch with them. It would just be nice to be invited. I would understand if we lived farther away but we are literally right behind
each other. I'm being crazy right?
Because you're mine, I walk the line....
Landry Mark: 11/5/11
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Re: I'm being ridiculous right? Longish

  • pitterpatter129pitterpatter129 member

    Not crazy; I'd feel left out too.  Instead, why don't you initiate an invitation to do something together?

     

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  • joyfullyfoundjoyfullyfound member
    pitterpatter129 said:

    Not crazy; I'd feel left out too.  Instead, why don't you initiate an invitation to do something together?

     

    Exactly this. I don't think it's unreasonable to feel a little hurt by not ever being included, especially when they are so close with your DH. I'd ask if you could be included the next time they go out! 

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  • JMC11511JMC11511 member
    See that's part of the problem too. When I have invited cousin and kids to go with us to story time or whatever during the day, she doesn't want to go. She doesn't take her boys anywhere unless her husband is there or, apparently, her Mom is there to go with. And DH's aunt usually calls last minute and takes random days off, so I don't know until after it's already happened. I feel awkward inviting myself to go on their fun outings. I don't want to feel like I'm intruding.
    Because you're mine, I walk the line....
    Landry Mark: 11/5/11
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  • JMC11511JMC11511 member
    CabbageCabbage said:

    You aren't crazy but they also aren't doing anything wrong. You love your DH and wish he had more attention. That's a very sweet wish. It's even okay that you're a little hurt by it but you need to remember that the hurt is your own and not something they are doing to you. Don't be upset that they visit and dote on their own child. You'll only cause problems that way. 

    Oh yeah I totally get that. I know the relationship they have with their grandchildren will be different than the one they have with my son (their great nephew), I just wish there could be some interest on their part.

    Because you're mine, I walk the line....
    Landry Mark: 11/5/11
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  • JMC11511JMC11511 member
    Thanks guys! Glad the way I feel is at least understandable. I'll try to see about inviting everyone for dinner.
    Because you're mine, I walk the line....
    Landry Mark: 11/5/11
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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    I don't blame you for feeling left out. Maybe it's as simple as saying "Next time y'all do XXX, we'd love to go if you think about it" They could just not really think about it. 
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  • LatteLady5LatteLady5 member
    I would feel awkward inviting myself too. I definitely agree with having them over for dinner or for a visit.

    It's probably as simple as they're just not thinking to invite you, you know? I don't think you're wrong in how you feel though.

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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    I think PP might be right with the aunt and uncle paying for food and activities and would feel obligated  to pay for your family as well.  That is the first thing I thought of.

    I think inviting everyone over for dinner a few times is an excellent idea. 

     

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  • JMC11511JMC11511 member
    Money could be a factor, that's true. We have a Kids Bowl Free membership for the summer that ends in a couple weeks so bowling is free. Things like lunch I wouldn't let her pay for, just politely decline. They don't usually pay for all of us when we all go out for special occasions like birthdays. I talked with H about it last night and he thinks it's more just their personalities. I may still see if they would be interested in coming over for a meal some time soon though.
    Because you're mine, I walk the line....
    Landry Mark: 11/5/11
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