No gifts necessary! Party

BenandSuzy · August 2013

What are the thoughts on a "no gifts necessary" for a first birthday party. My soon to be 1-year old is the third boy...we have plenty of toys! However, my mom thinks it's a little strange since people 'want to buy for a first birthday' party, but I don't want people to feel obligated to buy a gift if they are coming to the party. However, I don't want the awkwardness of some people bringing gifts and the others then feeling bad that they didn't bring one, so I am thinking that I will just leave it be. Any thoughts on this? Thanks I appreciate it!

INmommy871278 · August 2013

I think people will bring gifts if they want to bring gifts even if you say no gifts necessary, at least in my family and group of friends anyway. I would stick to your guns and if people bring gifts thank them and go on about life.

KellersPrag · August 2013

Yup, what @cheeseandrice said.

Don't say anything, but if they ask, then you can say that you don't really need anything, and would be more than happy to just spend time with them.

Holly_1007 · August 2013

BobKat22 said:

I don't like the idea. Everyone wants to get the birthday boy a present. My BF said "your presence is present enough" on her DD's invitation. I promptly ignored that shit. Apparently, everyone else did too. wh

When people put that on an invitation it makes me want to get a large/ extravagant gift. because I'm an ass. I typically don't, but I still want to

mrsbhk22 · August 2013

After 3 kids, my house is exploding with kid crap. I just donated a ton of toys because they have too much. I really wish people wouldn't bring gifts, but I understand no one wants to be "that person" who is the only one that shows up empty handed.

If people ask, I tell them she really doesn't need toys (if they've seen our basement, they know). If they really push, we say larger clothes or contribute directly to her college fund. I always joke that she's 1 - I promise she won't feel slighted if they don't bring a gift.

With DS2 about 1/2 of the people did not bring a gift. We were gracious of the ones he did receive.

We don't put it on the invitation. It's all by word of mouth. Her party is jut immediate family and very close friends so it's not a big deal to talk to everyone.

Flamingemu · August 2013

BobKat22 said:

I don't like the idea. Everyone wants to get the birthday boy a present. My BF said "your presence is present enough" on her DD's invitation. I promptly ignored that shit. Apparently, everyone else did too.

We did this because we have a few friends that simply can't afford to buy gifts and they hate coming to gift giving events because of it. I really wanted them to come hang out for the day because L loves their kids and wanted them to feel more comfortable.

I just told family to do whatever they wanted, but we wouldn't be opening gifts at the party, we could do that separately as a family if they wished.

Flamingemu · August 2013

Also, I put it in small print on the back. It's not like I called attention to it.

jbBeans · August 2013

cheeseandrice said:
You can't, unfortunately. Outright telling people "no gifts" implies you assumed they were going to get one.

When people have asked us what she wants, I've said we'd prefer no gifts and just want to spend time with family. But if they push, I ask them for books.

See, I worry that inviting people to a party comes with the assumption of gifts. I really don't want people to feel obligated to bring gifts; that's not why we're having a party. That said, if/when we do get gifts, we will be gracious and send thank yous, etc.

I am probably going to leave it off the invitation but mention it to people when we talk about the party.

BenandSuzy · August 2013

Thanks everyone! I will leave it off. Because yes, I would ignore it too. I kind of just wanted to give people an option that they didn't need a gift.

damabo80 · August 2013

I did the "your presence is his present" on the invites at the bottom. DH is inviting his employees, as we are good friends with two of them outside work, so we really don't want anything of monetary value from them (money should flow down, not up). Hopefully if they do bring something, it maxes out at a cute card. FX.

hmp1 · August 2013

We flew home to TX for James' first birthday party. While I think it is tacky to mention gifts on the invite, I did because I really didn't want to deal with bringing gifts back on the plane and we had a pretty big party. I put "we desire your presence instead of presents" very small at the very bottom of the invite. Pretty much everyone still brought a gift. We didn't open the gifts at the party and I sent a Thank You note to everyone that attended instead of just the ones that gave a gift.

Having the party at home, I wouldn't put anything about presents on the invite. People have told me that they don't want gifts when I ask but I always bring a little something. If they say no gifts, I just go small like one nice book and/or a gift card.

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