Re: To be a SAHM or Working Mom...that is the question....

• strawny0807 member

  August 2013

  I've only been a SAHM since April 29th but here's my take on it.  You truly only get 5 years of having your LO all to yourself (before school/activities start).  I left a lucrative finance career to stay home because I didn't want to miss those years with my DD.  I figure when she's in school and I'm ready to go back work, I'll find a job.  Yes, I'll have setbacks and probably won't make the same money that I did when I left the finance world.  But, that was a sacrifice that I was willing to make.  If I really feel like working outside of the home, I could always prepare some taxes during tax season.    

  
  

  I will tell you that going back to work would have been easier than staying home (in my case).  At work, I had a lunch break and didn't have to wait to go to the bathroom, ha.  But, the corporate world will always be there.  I'll never gets these years back with my sweet Lea.  

  
  

  Good luck with your decision.  It's a tough one that only you and your husband can make.

  ***Lauren*** Married my Love 07.12.08 - Baby #1 (Girl)-Cystic Hygroma & Turner's Syndrome-D&C at 13 weeks 03.29.12

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• blushingbride_08 member

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  If you can afford to stay home and still want to focus on your career then volunteer in your field. Im sure there are plenty of non for profit orgs that would like your skills on a pro bono basis. It will also help fill the gap in your resume until you return back to work . this is what i am doing along with freelance work. GL!

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• littlelamb99 member

  August 2013

  There are pros and cons to each side.  My daughter will be 5 in a few short weeks.  I have been both a working mom and a SAHM, currently SAHM but have an interview tomorrow (lol) but will probably not take it so I can SAH.

  
  

  My DH makes enough for us to live on, save for retirement, and have a little spending money per month.  No vacation fund and very little 529 fund for our DD.  But we hope have me back at work when she goes to K full time.

  
  

  I left a very well paying job in pharmaceuticals so I could SAH.  I then worked for a 1 year contract when she turned 3 but missed some important things.  I see both sides of the fence and they are both hard.  But DD and my DH's best interests come first and I make sacrifices in order to stay home.  I am bored SAH sometimes but I'd rather be bored and find things to do than be craazy busy and be filled with anxiety. Now that DD is in preschool I am finding volunteer activities left and right.

  
  

  You never get this time back and if you can pay your mortagage and have food on the table plus a little bit of fun money, I'd SAH in a heartbeat. 

  
  

  

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• blushingbride_08 member

  August 2013

  Another thing to keep in mind is that there is no such thing as job security. Some people give up everything for their careers and in the end can get layed off or fired. Sometimes I do think what would have happened if I stayed at my previous job.  I know I would have been devastated to get layed off or even fired for doing a sub par job because of my new priorities as being a mother. Then in the end I still would have missed out on milestones with my lo and still not have a job. I think part time work is the best of both worlds. I am now entering my 2nd year being home with lo and I do feel the need for professional growth. The 1st year I was about trying to maintain a career and now I feel like I need to grow. There is always the need to find balance as a new mother.

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• mrsrobinsontobe member

  August 2013

  I think the right thing to do really depends upon your profession and how hard it would be to get back in if you needed or wanted to. I never left my teaching job, but was able to go part-time instead. I feel incredibly fortunate to have this opportunity because I still get to be with the kids plenty and do the pto thing, etc. I still am contributing financially, not just with a paycheck, but with retirement savings and pension plan and I have been doing so for all the years -- there were no years off from all that, and it adds up!! 

  
  

  I am currently watching a lot of people struggle to get back into the field and finding the jobs are going to young people with a fresh masters degree who are not married and who have no kids! Financially speaking, they can get 2 of these go-getters for the price of me -- even at part-time! With 350 applicants for 1 job, a mom of 2 who has been out of the field for even a little while doesn't stand a chance. It's not fair, but I get it! Who has the time to do all the extras? Who is cheaper? Who will join a million committees to prove herself? Not a 30-something mom trying to balance everything!!!

  
  

  I have a friend with her masters, 4-5 years of experience, who is trying to get back in after having her 3 kids. She is competing with 150 applicants for a $12 hr. paraprofessional job! It just doesn't make sense, but it's reality!

  
  

  With the cost of raising and educating a child where we are, and with my husband in a lucrative, yet volatile field (biotech sales) I would be too afraid to ever leave my job completely...it's just too risky! 

  
  

  
  

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• kcisthebombdotcom member

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  I also worked in hr before coming a parent. I second trying to find a part time job. I worked 15-20 hours a week for a small business for the first two years of parenthood and it was really nice. You can also try to market yourself for some project work. I help out Dhs company here and there. I go in and audit their files a few times a year. I helped when they wanted to redo their employee handbook. I help out with open enrollment once a year. it takes up very little time which i can do on my schedule and it keeps my résumé from having a gaping hole.
  
  I think it's smart to be realistic about reentering the workforce but it isn't as impossible as many make it out to be (in hr anyway, can't speak for other fields). Are you going to walk into a director level, 85k a year job after taking five years off? Probably not. If you're willing to take a step back and a paycut you can work your way back up.

  

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• mandymack member

  August 2013

  Welcome to the board!!
  
  I'd love to hear from someone that has left a an awesome career, how did you maintain your professional growth while out of the workforce?
  I'll honestly say that I haven't. I'm too busy raising two kids and all that comes with being at home full time to make time for trying to keep up with my career. For me, I didn't decide to become a SAHM with going back to work as the "light" at the end of the tunnel. I didn't go into this thinking it was temporary so, re-entering the workforce is not on my "to do" list. Does that make sense? I left a great career that I excelled at and like a lot but I didn't LOVE it, never saw myself doing it for the rest of my life, and it wasn't hard for me to walk away. IF going back to work is something you definitely want to do, if SAH is temporary, you have a much different decision to make that I did and it looks like the ladies above have offered some great suggestions!
  
  How were you able to rejoin the workforce after?
  I can't honestly answer this because I haven't gone back to work, nor considered it, so I can't say how "hard" it might be for me.
  
  Does anyone regretting leaving their career to be a SAHM!?
  Not for one second.
  

  eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

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